Talk:Unforgiven (2006)

pre-GA review

Lead

1. What do you mean by the suspended belt? It should be either made more clear or removed.

   –LAX 20:42, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Pictures

1. Captions should not end in a period if they are not full sentences.

Background

1. Make clear what a "spinner belt" is.

   –LAX 20:41, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

2. But Cena would interrupt and inform Edge, that if he [Cena] got another opportunity at the WWE Championship and losing the match to Edge, Cena would sign a contract deal with SmackDown! and leave Edge's life for good. has many problems.

   –LAX 20:41, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

   • The sentence needs to be re-written because it makes no sense.

   –LAX 20:41, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

   • [Cena] should not be in brackets, but rather parenthesizes.

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:02, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

   • The sentence should not start with "But,"

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:10, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

3. Edge agreed to it, adding that he would be the one to choose when and where the match happens, Cena agreed to the stipulation. - remove , Cena agreed to the stipulation.

   –LAX 21:00, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

4. It's ridiculous to say This feud was the aftermath of SummerSlam

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:05, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

5. Shouldn't it say DX (kayfabe) vandalized Mr. McMahon's personal jet plane, the headquarters of the WWE, and McMahon's limousine. ?

   Yes, but "kayfabe" shouldn't be in parentheses. –LAX 21:06, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

6. The McMahons viciously attacked DX, remove the comma.

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:05, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

7. The first time DX is mentioned in the background it should say...D-Generation X (DX)

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

8. he teamed up with his son Shane and Big Show removed his son

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

9. One of the main undercard matches on the card --- undercard should be wiki-linked, since it is the first time in the section, and remove on the card

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

10. One of the main undercard matches on the card was between Lita and Trish Stratus for the WWE Women's Championship. Lita and Edge began a feud with Trish Stratus and Carlito, after Edge and Lita interrupted Stratus' title match with Mickie James, all four began to brawl with one another, leading to a tag match, where Edge and Lita would come out winning the match. is three lines long. I needs to be split into two-three sentences and re-worded.

    Zenlax ^{T C S} 20:19, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

11. Which led to Lita and Edge attacking Stratus', only to involve Carlito, who was in an relationship angle with Stratus, to brawl with Lita and Edge. - needs a ref, and do not start the sentence with "Which led"

    --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:03, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

12. Which led to a scheduled tag team match between Lita and Edge versus Stratus and Carlito, in which Edge and Lita would come out as the winners of the match. again, don't start the sentence with "Which led"

    I think I got it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:05, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Event

1. Combine the first four paragraphs, they are all too short.

   Their combined. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:39, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

   LAX combined them earlier. iMatthew 2008 10:28, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

2. As the match began, both men took the upper hand over each other. re-word that.

   I think I got it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:47, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

   Yes. iMatthew 2008 10:28, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

3. Again here, The match saw both teams take the advantage over each other.

   Again. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:47, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

   Yes. iMatthew 2008 10:28, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

4. Split this into two sentences, The members of the Squad, who were at ringside, interfered in the match and gave the upper hand to their teammates, as Mikey was able to pin Rory after a Facebuster, thus able to retain the World Tag Team titles. The split can come after "teammates" and by removing ", as"

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:37, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

5. Put DX in parenthesizes the first time D-Generation X appears.

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 01:56, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

6. DX pulled Big Show's trunks down, after Michaels performed Sweet Chin Music on Big Show and shoved the elder McMahon's head up Big Show's buttocks. - needs to be re-worded. Also change elder McMahon to Vince.

   Again. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:10, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

   Yes. iMatthew 2008 10:28, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

7. Combine the 6th and 7th paragraphs

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:35, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

8. Re-word Carlito springboarded moonsaulted from each side of the ring, and Carlito's elbow caught Orton in the mouth on the second one, as the result of Orton bleeding from the mouth. to Carlito springboarded moonsaulted from each side of the ring. His elbow caught Orton in the mouth on the second moonsault causing Orton to bleed from the mouth.

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:35, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

9. Cena took the early advantage over Edge. remove "early"

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 01:56, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

10. Re-word or cut down During the length of the match, Cena sandwiched Edge in a ladder, with Edge in the middle of the ladder, Cena applied the STFU hold on Edge, which Edge tapped out to

    Again. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:49, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

    Yes. iMatthew 2008 10:28, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

11. and crashing through a table at ringside crashing ---> crashed

    --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:09, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Done with the event. iMatthew 2008 22:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

The comment about being impressed with the Hardy/Nitro match was not sarcasm, but I removed it because it has nothing to do with the review. iMatthew 2008 10:28, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

Oh, cause I was about to say. ;) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:27, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Aftermath

1. The second sentence in the second paragraph should not start with Until

   SexySeaShark 16:20, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

2. sending Kane of the brand, insert "Raw" before brand.

   SexySeaShark 16:21, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

3. Mention that he went to Smackdown before the next sentence.

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:30, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

4. Nitro retaining the title. - change retaining to retained.

   SexySeaShark 16:19, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

5. Reliable source needed for seventh Women's tournament

   SexySeaShark 16:27, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

1. You do not advance in a "Women's title tournament match". You advance in a tournament.

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 19:41, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

2. This may be debatable but I do not think it's good to substitute "Championship" with "title", as in "Intercontinental title". Either way, "Championship" is the official name.
3. "Mini-feud". It could be argued. Just "feud" would be sufficient.

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 19:41, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

4. 'so-called "Champion of Champions"'. Remove "so-called".

   Zenlax ^{T C S} 19:41, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

5. "viewers voting on..." Viewers only?

   You want me to change "viewers voting on..." to "fans voting on"? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 01:09, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

--13 of Diamonds (talk) 21:36, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Results

1. This was Stratus' retirement match. needed to be sourced

   --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 02:32, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Done with everything. iMatthew 2008 10:35, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

FSF review

This article is listed first on the Open Tasks lists, but it's been awhile since anyone's made any comments, and the first time this page has been opened, so I'll have at it, even though I know very little about wrestling. Please keep that in mind.

1. Unforgiven (2006) was the eight annual...

Shouldn't it be the eighth annual?

2. Edge had retained the WWE title against Cena at both Saturday Night's Main Event and SummerSlam.[6][7]

Don't need "both". Also, this sentence could use some reworking. How 'bout, "Edge had beaten Cena twice in the past summer, [or however long it was] at Saturday Night's Main Event and SummerSlam".

3. Forgive me, but I don't even understand the first paragraph, probably because I'm ignorant. For example, I don't know who Lita is and why she's important and why her throwing Cena's belt into the Long Island Sound is important. Are you trying to explain why the match happened, that it was due to these guys' rivalry? Perhaps that needs to be more clear, and perhaps you need to explain it so that someone dumb like me can understand it. 4. On the August 21, 2006 edition of Raw, as part of the storyline, DX vandalized Vince McMahon's personal jet plane, WWE headquarters, and McMahon's limousine.[9][13]

Why did he do that? Again, restructure: "...DX vandalized the WWE headquarters and VM's personal jet plane and limousine."

--  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:32, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

5. On the August 28, 2006 edition of Raw, The McMahons viciously attacked DX after their 3-on-2 handicap match with their SummerSlam opponents, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay and William Regal.[10] But before Vince and Shane proceeded to attack DX, Big Show attacked DX, giving the advantage to The McMahons.[10]

Don't start a sentence with "but".

6. Moments after the assault,...

Not clear enough, please be more specific about how much time elapsed.

7. Melina, however, hit Hardy with her boot, giving the upper hand to Nitro as he pinned Hardy and retained the title.[19][20]

Again, consider the source, but how did she become involved? Was she outside the ring? Please clarify, if necessary.

8. Kane performed a clothesline on Umaga...

Should "clothesline" be wikilinked?

9. back and forth action was seen by both teams.

Incomplete sentence.

10. ...as Mikey was able to pin Rory after a Facebuster, thus able to retain the World Tag Team Championship.[20][22]

Should "Facebuster" be wikilinked?

11. gave the upper hand...

Another repetitive phrase.

12. Back and forth action took place between the teams.

Complete sentence, but repetitive, since the same sentence was in the previous paragraph. Please explain and expand what that means to us non-fans.

13. Stratus gained the early control, but Lita gained control after she threw Stratus from the top rope. Stratus won the match, after she locked in the Sharpshooter on Lita, who submitted to the move, giving the win to Stratus, who became Women's Champion for the last time.[23][24]

These sentences could be re-worked. How about something like (and this is by no means perfect), "Stratus gained control early in the match, but Lita took it from her after she threw Stratus from the top rope. Stratus won the match after she locked in the Sharpshooter on Lita, who submitted to the move, and Stratus became Women's Champion for the last time in her career."

--  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:41, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

14. As the match came to a start, Carlito spat on Orton and momentarily was followed by a dropkick.

Please re-work, similar issues as above.

15. The match saw Cena sandwich Edge in a ladder, as he applied the STFU hold on Edge, to which Edge tapped out.

The match has eyes? ;) What does the phrase, "to which Edge tapped out" mean?

16. At one point, Cena began to climb the ladder, as he was moments away from retrieving the title, Lita, who interfered on behalf of Edge, tipped the ladder over, making Cena fall off the ladder and crash through a table at ringside.

I'm not sure if this is a run-on. Again, needs re-working.

17. What's an "FU"? Do I dare ask? ;) 18. Ah, now I see it, in the next paragraph. Be careful about your wikilinking; make sure that you link the first instance. 19. Thus ending the feud between the two.

Incomplete sentence, try combining it with the previous one.

20. The following week, Edge used an edition of The Cutting Edge to join forces with Randy Orton to form a team and began a feud against DX.

Tense problems: it should be "begin a feud..."

21. On the October 9, 2006 edition of Raw, where Kane and Umaga were scheduled in a "Loser Leaves Raw match", in which Umaga defeated Kane, sending Kane to the SmackDown! brand.[32][28] After being separated by different brands, Umaga and Kane had one final match at Cyber Sunday where Umaga again defeated Kane after fans selected him over Chris Benoit and The Sandman to be Umaga's opponent for the night.[33]

Needs a re-write. How 'bout, "On the October 9, 2006 edition of Raw, Kane and Umaga were scheduled in a "Loser Leaves Raw match"; Umage defeated Kane and sent him to the SmackDown! brand. Despite their separation into different brands, Umaga and Kane had one final match at Cyber Sunday. Umaga won again, after fans selected him to be Umaga's opponent instead of Chris Benoit and The Sandman".

--  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:27, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

22. The angle between Johnny Nitro and Jeff Hardy continued, as the two were involved in another Intercontinental Championship match where Nitro retained the title.[30][34]

"The angle"? Do you mean something else? The end of the sentence should be something like, "...as they were involved in another Intercontinental Championship, when Nitro retained the title". Also, when did this occur? Also, this is a one-sentence paragraph that should be added to another paragraph.

23. The following paragraph, about the Women's championship, needs a thorough copyedit. The wording is repetitive and the timeline it tries to describe is very unclear. 24. Cena, King Booker (SmackDown!'s World Heavyweight Champion), and Big Show (ECW's World Champion) engaged in a feud leading to a Triple Threat match at Cyber Sunday in November, with the viewers voting on which of the three championships would be placed on the line.[39]

The final phrase needs improving. How 'bout putting a semi-colon after "November", then go: "viewers chose which championship would be placed on the line".

--  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:27, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

25. At the same time, Cena became involved in a storyline with non-wrestler Kevin Federline when he began appearing on Raw with Johnny Nitro and Melina.

Change to something like: "...with non-wrestler K-Fed when he [who?Cena or K-Fed?] appeared on Raw with..."

26. After getting into a worked physical altercation with Federline on Raw,[39] Federline appeared at Cyber Sunday to hit Cena with the World Heavyweight Title belt during the main event Triple Threat match, helping King Booker retain his title.[44]

Huh? How 'bout: "After Federline appeared on a worked physical altercation on Raw, he helped King Booker retain his title at Cyber Sunday by hitting Cena with the World Heavyweight Title belt during the main event Triple Threat match".

--  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:27, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

I think that's it. Thanks for the opportunity; I now know so much more about professional wrestling than before! ;) --Figureskatingfan (talk) 04:36, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

GA Pass

The above review seems to have taken care of a lot of little issues. I really can't find any major faults with this ... a couple of places where something should be cited in addition to where it's been cited elsewhere, maybe, and that cutline on the DX guys which should be shortened. The information is already conveyed in the nearby text, and all it really needs to do is identify them at the event. Anytime your photo cutline's going on four lines or more, you either need to resize the image (not a good idea here) or tighten the cutline up.

Otherwise, it's well-written (keeps the narrative going and tells me what happened before, during and afterwards, without losing track of things and/or boring me, which since I haven't followed pro wrestling in years is something of an accomplishment), consistently sourced and cited properly, and smartly laid out. So there you go.

If you want to take this to FA, I'd suggest adding something on attendance and TV viewing figures as well. That would be truly comprehensive. Daniel Case (talk) 18:18, 20 June 2008 (UTC)