Talk:Uttarakhand/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cabe6403 (talk · contribs) 09:13, 19 December 2012 (UTC)

I'm going to start this review in an effort to clear the backlog. At first glance there seems to have been loads of work done since the last GA review which is great. Feel free to comment as I go along. Cabe6403 ^{(Talk•Sign)} 09:13, 19 December 2012 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Known for its natural beauty of the Himalayas, the Bhabhar and the Terai, the state was carved out of the Himalayan and adjoining northwestern districts of Uttar Pradesh on 9 November 2000, becoming the 27th state of the Republic of India. - This sentence doesn't read particularly well. Perhaps it would do better as seperate sentences. The provisional capital of Uttarakhand is Dehradun, which is also a railhead and the largest city in the region - Is Railhead correct in this case? - Note to self: investigate later. The state also hosts the Bengal tiger in Jim Corbett National Park, the oldest on the Indian subcontinent. There is also the Valley of Flowers, a Unesco World Heritage Site known for the variety and rarity of the flowers and plants found there. - Repeated use of Also, suggest 'additionally'. The bill was passed by Parliament and signed into law by the President in December 2006. - Who was the president then? Suggest signed into law by President X in December 2006 - make sure to blue-link them. At that time, present-day Uttarakhand also served as a haunt for Rishis and Sadhus. - "served as a haunt" is a colloquialism The present king of Kumaon is Mahendra Chand of Lamakhet (Pithoragarh) he is married to Gita Chand of Rina and has three children (Aakanksha Chand, Mallika Chand, Aryan Chand) - How is this relevant to this article? It feels very 'shoe-horned' in. I'd suggest removing it. a rump portion of the Garhwal Kingdom was re-established - "rump portion"? What's that? "Makar Sankranti (14 January 2010) to Shakh Purnima Snan (28 April 2010)." - Why the italics? As 90% of the state is hilly, the - "Hilly". I really wouldn't use that word, too casual. Suggest "90% of the state consists of hills" or something similar. are found in hilly areas but may - Hilly again The Indian python found in the Jim Corbett National Park is a dangerous species, capable of killing a chital deer. - not relevant to article. terrain is hilly railway services - Hilly again. Also missing a comma.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	A couple of diambiguation links that can be fixed: [1] Consider if the inline citation is necessary per WP:LEADCITE
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Uttarakhand's name is derived from the Sanskrit words uttara (उत्तर) meaning north, and khaṇḍ (खण्ड्) meaning country or part of a country. - According to the article on Sanskrit there is only 14,000 native speakers of the language, can the derivation of the name be cited? It is believed that the sage Vyasa scripted the Hindu epic Mahabharata in the state. - By who? This needs cited or removed. It is evident from the Ashokan edict at Kalsi in Western Garhwal that Buddhism made inroads in this region. - Is it? Why? Cite this. Folk shamanic practices deviating from Hindu orthodoxy also persisted here. - I couldn't find any mention of Uttarakhand at shamanic. Can this be cited? Uttarakhand has a total area of 53,566 km², of which 93% is mountainous and 64% is covered by forest. - Citation for figures? (various clans of landowning rulers and their descendants) - Is there a source for this claim? ...are now considered classics of Hindi literature - Citation? Barada nati folk dance is another famous dance of Dehradun, which is practised during some religious festivals. - Citation? Pahari painting is a form of painting that flourished in the region between the 17th and 19th century. - Source, blue link Pahari painting. Haripur Guler was famous as the cradle of Kangra paintings - If its famous as where this style of painting originated there must be a source for this. Also, blue link the painting style. The entire food section in culture is unsourced. and there is prospective development in IT, ITES, biotechnology, pharmaceuticals and automobile industries. - WP:CRYSTALBALL - cite expanding industries or remove completely. Uttarakhand is home to rare species of plants and animals, many of which are protected by sanctuaries and reserves - citation? The state air transport is not very well developed, although there have been efforts to develop Naini Saini Airport in Pithoragarh district, Chaniyalisaur in Uttarkashi and Gauchar in Chamoli district. - repeated use of "develop". Also cite these efforts. Rail, being the cheapest mode of transport, is most popular. - citation or OR? Other famous railway stations are at Lalkuan and Haldwani. Why are they famous? Perhaps rephrase as "major railway stations" that draw large number of tourists. - Citation for tourist numbers? What is a large number? A citation would allow this to be clarified. Uttarakhand has long been called "abode of the gods" (Devbhumi), as the state has some of the holiest Hindu shrines, and for more than a thousand years, pilgrims have been visiting the region in the hopes of salvation and purification from sin. - Citation for "Abode of the gods". Also, consider splitting this sentence as it doesn't read particularly well. Never use a comma before an and. Rishikesh near Haridwar is known as the preeminent yoga centre of India. - citation? A recent development in adventure tourism in the region has been whitewater rafting in Rishikesh. - citation?
	2c. it contains no original research.	A few parts seem like it may be OR from local knowledge. I've raised some in the above section, once sourced they'll no longer be OR.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Perhaps a little too much unnecessary detail in sections (specifically, the second paragraph in education), could be cut down but it's not essential
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	However, they were not quite successful in thwarting the move. - Not exactly neutral. Tbh, this sentence is not needed at all. The previous sentences make it clear that the change happened additionally it's a "However" following a "However". Beautifully worked paintings and murals are used to decorate both homes and temples. - Not neutral, you can refer to it as beautiful if there's a source and it's phrased as commentary. Simple recipes are made interesting with the use of hash seeds as spice. - "made interesting" - by who's account? A POV issue. The trek to Roopkund passes through the beautiful meadows of Bugyal. - Sounds like it's promoting it to tourists. Consider removing this sentence.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Seems fairly stable other than a few WP:GOODFAITH edits here and there.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	Overall, I like this article. For the most part, it's well written and well sourced. It's got a few issues that cause me to put it on hold. When resolved I'd be happy to promote this article. A good job by those that contributed. Cabe6403 (Talk•Sign) 11:13, 19 December 2012 (UTC) After most of the changes I suggested were made I believe the article meets GA criteria and have passed it. Cabe6403 (Talk•Sign) 08:32, 11 January 2013 (UTC)