Talk:Video Phone (song)/GA1
Latest comment: 14 years ago by Matthewedwards in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Matthewedwards : Chat 20:42, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
Hi. I'll be reviewing this article against the Good article criteria. I have already checked it against the "quick fail criteria", and it passes that, so I will be back soon with a complete review. All the best, Matthewedwards : Chat 20:42, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS): 
- The prose is pretty good here, but a little tweaking would improve it somewhat:
- Write "US" instead of "U.S." See [[WP::MOS#Acronyms and abbreviations ]], subsection US vs U.S. It wouldn't normally be an issue, but because "UK" is used, to make the article consistent, so should "US"
- "However, the release was recalled" however is used here as a conjunction, joining the information in the first sentence with that in the second. Both sentences should be joined, using a semi-colon.
- Made it two separate sentences. --Legolas (talk2me) 12:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- Is it necessary to say Life & Style magazine? You wouldn't say "New York Times newspaper"
- "The official remix and music video of the song featuring Gaga, was included on the 2009 deluxe edition of the album." just to clarify: the music video appears on the album? I'm not sure "official" is needed here, either, but it's your choice
- Two sentences begin with "According to". Can one be re-written so it's not as repetitive?
- I think with the "Reader's Wife" quote from the Guardian, you might consider wikilinking it to Pornographic magazine#Common features, but it's up to you. It would certainty help the readers to understand it.
- Is "Sal Cinquemani from Slant Magazine said that the song ended the album abruptly." really critical reception? For me, the section would cope just as well without it, unless she has more to offer in her review.
- I believe it has a place since he clearly is criticising the song for putting an end to the album without a proper conclusion, hence the abrupt. --Legolas (talk2me) 12:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- .."'Video Phone' - and what exactly.." use an en-dash, even though it's a quote. According to the MOS, we should still make quotes conform to our own style unless the style is the primary point of the quote.
- "However, the original version" -- same rule as above re "however"
- "The remix version, across Europe, the song charted in Spain[22] and bubbled under the official charts in Belgium (Flanders and Wallonia)." -- The first part of the sentence doesn't make sense, and "bubbled under" is a term used for an American chart. It has no meaning outside of that chart, and shouldn't be used for other charts. Besides which, it's extremely informal, and not suitable TONE for an encyclopedia
- "In Czech Republic" ---> "In the Czech Republic"
- "a homage" ---> "an homage"
- "1992 film Reservoir Dogs by Quentin Tarantino." ---> "1992 film Reservoir Dogs directed by Quentin Tarantino."
- Is "Angela Beyincé" in the infobox a typo?
- The formatting of the Track listing and formats needs looking into. In Firefox, it's messed up, with a huge amount of white space on the left side.
- The prose is pretty good here, but a little tweaking would improve it somewhat:
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- In the Lede, it says "The remixed version charted at sixty-five on the Billboard Hot 100, Australia and its Urban chart, and also in New Zealand, while bubbled under the main charts of Belgium." This leads the reader to believe it charted at 65 on all those charts, but it didn't. It charted at 65 only on the Hot 100. Also, your Charts section table shows that it charted at 4 and 14 in the Belgian charts. Again, "bubbled under" needs removing here, as it has no relevance to Belgian charts, and it is of poor tone.
- The word Tip is what Ultratop uses to denote its bubbling nature. Its used in the charts section. --Legolas (talk2me) 12:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- In the Lede, it says "The remixed version charted at sixty-five on the Billboard Hot 100, Australia and its Urban chart, and also in New Zealand, while bubbled under the main charts of Belgium." This leads the reader to believe it charted at 65 on all those charts, but it didn't. It charted at 65 only on the Hot 100. Also, your Charts section table shows that it charted at 4 and 14 in the Belgian charts. Again, "bubbled under" needs removing here, as it has no relevance to Belgian charts, and it is of poor tone.
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- If it's available, I'd like to see any information about why Beyonce wrote it, what it was about to her. Do you have any information about when it was written, when it was recorded, where? Who produced it, etc? I see it's all in the infobox; can it be included in the prose, too? The infobox also says Gaga is credited as a writer for the remix.. what additional parts did she write? Words, music, or both?
- Im sorry. I tried my best to find background story of the song when I was developing it, but could not fiond it. :( Gaga's part has been added. --Legolas (talk2me) 12:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- If it's available, I'd like to see any information about why Beyonce wrote it, what it was about to her. Do you have any information about when it was written, when it was recorded, where? Who produced it, etc? I see it's all in the infobox; can it be included in the prose, too? The infobox also says Gaga is credited as a writer for the remix.. what additional parts did she write? Words, music, or both?
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- No problems here
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- Nothing of issue here
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- good
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pretty good. I'll place the nomination on hold for 7 days so that the article editors can address the issues raised. Good luck! Matthewedwards : Chat 21:42, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
- I think there should be some discussion of the song's lyrics which I don't see in the article. The title Video Phone (song) implies that it is about a Video Phone, but what about a video phone. The lyrics of the song are important. The article would be more comprehensive if the lyrics were covered. See Into the Groove. Xtzou (Talk) 12:05, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
- Unless there is discussion in reliable sources about the lyrics, we can't say anything about it here. I [WP:AGF|believe]] Legolas when he says above he hasn't found any sources that does this, but if sources emerge in the future it would be good to add this information. Matthewedwards : Chat 22:52, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
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- Im extremely sorry for being this late. I am on vacation, just logging in to corect them and will log off soon. --Legolas (talk2me) 12:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
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OK, I'm happy with the improvements made, and I've ran a couple of scripts over the article. I think it meets WP:GA?, so I will list it at WP:GA. Very well done to Legolas and all the other editors of this article. Matthewedwards : Chat 22:52, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail: