Talk:Viewtiful Joe (video game)/GA1

GA Review

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Prose issues

• In the "Gameplay" section:
  • Taking control of Joe, the player is mostly limited to moving left, right, up, and down on a fixed 2D path, with platforming elements such as the ability to jump and double jump. → the latter part of that sentence really doesn't fit in with the first half of the sentence. I'd recommend splitting into two sentences, unless you can think of a way to better link those two parts into one thought.Y
  • Joe has the ability to punch and kick as well as dodge by leaping upward or ducking. → When I think of "dodging", I normally don't consider jumping as a dodge (but then again, perhaps I've played too much Punch-Out!! when I was younger). It's also a bit wordy/unclear; how about this as a suggestion: Joe has the ability to punch, kick, and dodge—which he can do by leaping upward or ducking.Y
  • Once it depletes, Viewtiful Joe reverts back to normal Joe, leaving him temporarily devoid of VFX Power and lowers his attack and defense. → nothing wrong with the sentence, but you didn't mention how Joe turns into Viewtiful Joe when using VFX Power. Add that in to avoid confusion among readers.Y
  • Viewtiful Joe garnered a number of awards and nominations from various magazines, popular gaming websites, and video game award programs. IGN named Viewtiful Joe the best GameCube game and the best action game of 2003. → is there a specific name for that award (like with the GameSpot awards)? If so, I'd make that known in the article.Y
  • Awards – I'm not 100% on this, but I think the names of awards are normally in quotation marks (as well as capitalized, which I think for the most part are done).Y

• In the "Reception" section:
  • Preorders of the GameCube version sold out on Capcom's North American website prior to its ship date, and the game debuted at number 10 in the region. → Number 10 in what? Clarify.Y

MoS issues

• Plot section is a bit in-universe – not exactly in my comfort zone as far as WP:WAF is concerned. How it's written seems a tad in-universe. Are there any ways you can edit it to include a more real-world perspective?
  • Looks better. MuZemike 15:37, 10 September 2009 (UTC)

Verifiability issues

• References #2 and #26 – the links are dead. Replace with a valid URL for that and make sure that site is reliable. Alternatively, you may remove material that was sourced under this.Y

Things to look out for

• Captions – per WP:CAPTION, if it's a sentence fragment, then no end-punctuation is to be used. If it is a complete sentence, then end-punctuation is to be used.
• Quotations – per Wikipedia:Manual of Style#Quotation marks, use "logical quotations", (← like what I just did) in which, unless the quote is a sentence itself, the end-quotation precedes the end-punctuation.
• Alt text in images – strongly consider adding alt text to the images, as that is a requirement for FA. See WP:ALT (which is a fairly new guideline) for guidelines on alt text.
• Abbreviations – Spell out the first occurrence of a commonly-used abbreviation (like in PS2, PSP, or VFX), immediately following that with the abbreviation in parentheses. Then you can use just the abbreviations in all remaining occurrences.
• "The player"/"players" as opposed to "Joe" – I changed most of the occurrences of mentioning "Joe" in the Gameplay section to "the player" or "players" as the players are actually doing the actions for Joe. I think it's normally standard convention in video game articles to do that.
• Weasel words – watch out for the weasel words as they tend to editorialize and detract from a neutral point-of-view.
• Words to avoid – try to avoid using common words to avoid in an editorial fashion (for example, forms of "cite", "state", or "claim") as that also suggests partiality.
• Verb tense – especially in the "Reception" section, try to remain consistent with verb tense. When citing reviews results, use past tense, and with others, past progressive tense is also good to use.
• Spelling out numbers – per WP:MOSNUM, numbers from zero through nine are spelled out unless there are other figures already displayed numerically (the key with that guideline is consistency throughout given sentences).

Conclusions

Placed on hold pending further improvements noted above (except the "things to look out for" section which is for future reference). MuZemike 17:30, 9 September 2009 (UTC)

Passed. Good job. MuZemike 01:39, 11 September 2009 (UTC)