Talk:Vishal Bhardwaj/GA1

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Jaguar in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 13:50, 10 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


I'll have this to you soon JAGUAR  13:50, 10 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

Initial comments

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  • "He has adapted William Shakespeare's tragedies in three of his directorial ventures: Maqbool (2003) from Macbeth Omkara (2006) from Othello and Haider (2014) from Hamlet;" - missing commas in between the titles
  • "He has produced films like Ishqiya (2010), its sequel and Talvar (2015)" - could be He has produced films like Ishqiya (2010), its sequel Dedh Ishqiya (2014) and Talvar (2015)
  • "He is also an avid Tennis player" - tennis shouldn't be capitalised
  • "He is known for his collaborations with Gulzar, who had Bhardwaj as his music composer in all his directorial ventures since Maachis; and Gulzar provided lyrics to all of Bhardwaj's films" - unsourced
  • "The next year, Bhardwaj helmed the director's cap for Maqbool" - sounds informal, it could just be something like The next year, Bhardwaj accepted the directing role for Maqbool
  • "It, however opened to positive box-office response in North America and United Kingdom" - no need for the comma after "it". Also there should be a the before United Kingdom
  • "after finding out that he is HIV+" - HIV positive? I could be wrong
  • I think that two small paragraphs in the Producer section could be merged in order to create a bigger paragraph and improve prose flow

References

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On hold

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@Yashthepunisher: I'm really sorry for the delay in reviewing this. I usually review articles on the same day but lately I've been so busy. Anyway, nice work on this article! Once all of the above are clarified then this should be good to go.   JAGUAR  13:21, 12 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

@Jaguar: I have resolved all issues raised by you. I have also provided the source for the fourth issue, and have trimmed the sentence. As it was too long and quite redundant. You don't need to apologise, we all have other things to do; both here and in real life. Thanks for your helpful review anyway. :) Yashthepunisher (talk) 13:38, 12 November 2015 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for addressing them so quickly! This is good to go now. Nice work   JAGUAR  13:40, 12 November 2015 (UTC)Reply