Talk:WCLV/GA1

GA Review

Latest comment: 1 year ago8 comments1 person in discussion

Unsuccessful. Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:40, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Adog (talk · contribs) 01:22, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )

3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will also take on this review since the subject is connected to Talk:WVIZ/GA1. I will likely review this fully by Tuesday, August 15 or Wednesday, August 16. Stay tuned! Adog (Talk・Cont) 01:22, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Alright, Nathan Obral, I will be starting this review now. The following are suggestions during my first skim-through for grammar or sentence structure for the editor-at-large. If you do not feel that these suggestions are not appropriate or improper, please disregard them with an explanation.

Prose

Lead

... carrying a combined fine art/classical music and jazz format "with" instead of "carrying a"?
In 1941, the station converted to the FM band, becoming not only the first educational FM station, but also the first licensed FM station in Cleveland and one of the first FM stations in Ohio. You could omit "not only" and "but also", unless that emphasis is needed here.
WCLV's studios are located at Playhouse Square in Downtown Cleveland with the transmitter residing in the Cleveland suburb of Parma Comma after "Cleveland"?

WBOE (1938–1978)

AM Apex establishment

The first sentence: Organized radio broadcasting was introduced in the United States in the early 1920s, and by the mid-1930s, the standard amplitude modulation (AM) broadcast band was considered to be too full to allow any meaningful increase in the number of stations could be broken up into two sentences for easier reading and clarity. It could be: ... in the early 1920s. By the mid-1930s ...
Looking to expand the number of available frequencies, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) began to issue licenses to parties interested in testing the suitability of using higher transmitting frequencies ... may read better as Looking to expand the number of available frequencies, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) began issuing licenses to parties interested in testing the suitability of higher transmitting frequencies ...
These stations were informally known as "Apex" stations, due to the tall height of their transmitter antennas, which were needed because ... the first comma might not be needed here.
The sentence starting as: On July 22, 1937, the Cleveland Board of Education filed paperwork ... I would consider breaking this sentence into two for clarity and better reading, likely: ... 26.4 MHz. However, the FCC ...
... the new allocations resulted in a dedicated band for Apex stations consisting of 75 channels with 40 kHz separations, and spanning from 41.02–43.98 MHz I would remove the comma after "separations" and remove the word "and".
American Association of School Administrators' I do not believe the apostrophe is needed here.

Conversion to FM

utilitzed should be utilized.
In May 1940, the FCC decided to authorize an FM broadcast band ... "decided to authorize" could be shortened to "authorized".
Apex stations were subsequently informed by the Commission that they needed to either go silent or convert to FM transmission ... might read better as The Commission subsequently informed Apex stations that they needed to either go silent or convert to FM transmission ...
Once again ... Comma after this phrase?
WBOE's initial assignment on the new FM "high" band was for 90.1 MHz, however a ... I would put another comma after "however".
The sentence starting as: During a transition period, ... is a pretty lengthy statement. I would consider breaking it into two sentences, likely: and new assignments. In July 1948 .... If not, I would insert a comma after "1948".
Same sentence, I would consider putting the modifier "simultaneously" after "assignments", and inserting a comma after "year".

"America's Pioneer School Station"

From its 1938 sign on ... "sign on" as "sign-on"?
Additional "preview" programming was sometimes transmitted for teachers during after-school hours, introducing any forthcoming series and to familiarize themselves with course material ... runs a bit awkward. I would consider changing it to something such as: Additional "preview" programming was sometimes transmitted for teachers during after-school hours, helping to introduce and familiarize any forthcoming series to educators with course material ...
in order for to for.
to physically attend classes to to attend classes physically?
All stations supplied private lines to WBOE's studios for the purpose of either directly ... I would consider omitting "the purpose of".
... a regionally syndicated anthology series WTAM originated by arrangement ... Possible missing word "the" or "an" before "arrangement".
... for a two-week period ... to for two weeks ...?

Competition from television

block to air as block-to-air?
The sentence starting as: Levenson had been elevated to Cleveland schools ... is a lengthy statement. I would consider cutting this into two, likely: ... white schools. However, he declined ...
WVIZ signed on as Cleveland's educational television outlet on February 7, 1965, owned by a consortium and based out of ... "and" might be an extra word to omit.
In 1963, Leetonia High School in Leetonia, Ohio, began playing programs taped from both WBOE and Kent State University's WKSU-FM ... "both" might be an extra word to omit.
... the concept failed to materialize on a national level "on a national level" to simply "national"?

Public radio involvement

fulltime to full time?
The sentence starting with: Cleveland lawyer William Bradford "Brad" Norris ... is a pretty length statement. I would consider breaking into two, likely: ... to Cleveland. At the time, Cleveland was the largest ...
The next sentence has two complete thoughts where "and" might not be necessary. I would consider breaking the sentence into two here: ... (CEI). He envisioned ...
Several announcers joined the station as a result of ... "as a result of" to simply "due to"?
onetime to one time
For the sentence starting as: Ethnic shows, traditionally a staple of ..., I would consider breaking into two sentence for better reading and clarity, such as: ... Saturday lineup. WBOE joined ...
along with featuring to just and featured?
... became WBOE's final station manager in 1974 while junior high school ... Comma likely needed before "while".

I would also wikilink "Ethnic shows" to Ethnic media. I was a bit confused at first reading this.

The article is a good read, taking a pause break. Will resume shortly. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:13, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Cleveland's public radio vacancy (1978–1984)

WBOE's suspension resulted in the Greater Cleveland radio market earning the dubious distinction as being the largest market in the United States, and the only major-market city, without ... might read better as WBOE's suspension resulted in the Greater Cleveland radio market earning the dubious distinction of being the largest market in the United States and the only major-market city without ...
Despite this, the FCC mandated WKSU's signal had to be directional aimed ... to Despite this, the FCC mandated WKSU's signal had to be directionally aimed ...?
... two engineers employed, thus WBOE never filed ... Comma after "thus"?
CPR touted its desire to be a community based ... "community based" should have a hyphen in between?
... which the district had the ability to do as it still held the license ... "had the ability to" could be simply "could".
The FCC deferred on making a decision ... "making a decision" to simply "deciding".
WKSU added Cleveland to its primary coverage area with the city receiving a city-grade signal but the ... Commas before "with" and "but"?

*airtime to air time.

Due to the way this arrangement was handled ... I would replace "this" with "the", since this is a new paragraph, and referring to "this" from a previous paragraph would seem narratively improper.

WCPN (1984–2022)

News and jazz revival

WCPN's sign-on came not only amidst a significant financial crisis for NPR over the past fiscal year, but also with WKSU ... could also do away with "not only" and "but also" unless emphasis is needed.

Ethnic and financial contentions

... stated that the shows only attracted 5,800 listeners in ratings surveys ... "ratings" to "rating".
Cleveland mayor George Voinovich expressed outrage over the cancellations and called on an investigation by the FCC while Senator ...

Comma likely needed before "while".

Financial statements disclosed during that meeting revealed that WCPN, despite increasing corporate underwriters and listener support, was experiencing deficits after declines in unrestricted foundation grants. might read better as Financial statements disclosed during that meeting revealed that WCPN was experiencing deficits after declines in unrestricted foundation grants, despite increasing corporate underwriters and listener support.

Creating ideastream

Despite WCPN's separate history, one visible reminder of WBOE's past is in display ... "in" to "on".

News evolution

... the station had dropped most jazz programming during the midday hours in favor of news-oriented fare including ... Comma before "including".
Michael McIntrye should be Michael McIntyre.

Notes

So for notes B, E, F, G, J, K, and M, sources should be cited here, right? There could be an explanation and I do not know about it. However, as a reader, I do not know where these statements of explanations are coming from.

References

1, "ideastream" as "Ideastream".
2, missing publisher parameter.
3, error in archive date/url mismatch.
4, "cleveland.com" as "Cleveland.com".
55, "DECEMBER IN THE GOLDEN AGE" as "December In The Golden Age".
76, 97, 99, 103, 159, 200, 219, 221, 234, same as 4.
93, "clevelandmemory.contentdm.oclc.org" as "The Cleveland Memory Project".
94-95, same as 93.
107, "The Tribune" should be "The Coshocton Tribune".
111, 117, 118, same with 107.
132, "licensing.fcc.gov" to "Federal Communications Commission".
136, same as 132.
138, error in archive date/url mismatch.
197, "WCLV.com" to "WCLV".
216, "medina-gazette.com" to "Medina Gazette".
226, not sure if "ideastream" is needed when parameter before has "IPM".

Bibliography

Levenson, William B. (1953). Paulu, Burton (ed.). Lincoln Lodge Seminar on Educational Television: June, 1953. pp. 51–61. Has a work error.

Additional comments and concerns

Because I am paying attention to commas more, I believe the prose blends both American and British dialect's use of commas. Namely, its usage before and when linking independent clauses or listing. Sometimes with its instances for "but". I would stick to one or the other when possible.
For how long the prose is in the body, I think the lead could be expanded a tad. The first and third paragraphs are small compared to the second.

First comments, break 1. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:13, 16 August 2023 (UTC)'Reply

Consider adding ALT text to the images.
MOS:DUPLINK, "Cleveland Municipal School District" in "Financial calamity and suspension of operations", original in prose. "The Plain Dealer" in "Cleveland's public radio vacancy (1978–1984)". "WGAR (1220 AM)", "WMJI", "pledge drive", and "Garrison Keillor" in "WCPN (1984–2022)". "The Cleveland Foundation", "Morning Edition", "op-ed" in "Ethnic and financial contentions". "WNYC-FM" in "News evolution". "WCPN" and "the original WCLV" in "WCLV (2022–present)". "jazz music", "underwriter", "City Club of Cleveland", "Cleveland Orchestra'", "WVIZ" in "Programming".

Break 2, I will do a full read-through tomorrow morning (EST). I will be honest; I am on the fence a bit on the article so far. :s I did like the skim-through though, it is promising. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:14, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

The first paragraph of "AM Apex establishment" is unreferenced. Readers cannot verify the content on this article. Wikipedia:WikiProject Radio Stations does not provide anything on the matter, if there was an explanation to be had.
In the same subsection, During the WTAM partnership, the school programs became more sophisticated ... I am not sure if sophisticated in the right word here, as it could be interpreted as complex (in a bad way). Maybe sub in "refined" or "polished"?
Same subsection, ... but the FCC reallocated the Apex frequencies after discovering ionospheric strengthening from high solar activity resulted in strong and undesirable skywave ... It is not a bad statement by any means. However, for a person-who-likes-amusement-rides-and-does-not-understand-radio, it needs further explanation as to what these things mean or a simplification as linking the terms here does not really help. I interpret this as upper atmosphere happenings, coupled with the sun's solar rays doing their thing equals interference and undesirable radio wave transmission.
Same subsection, ... were reserved in January 1938 for non-commercial educational stations.[18][13][b] References numerically flipped.
So far reading, I do have concerns about the focus of some of the paragraphs, namely the first in "Apex" and "Conversion". It is great context and content, but it might not be needed for a reader interested in "WCLV" only. Some context is of course pertinent, but could be significantly shortened if that were the case. In some spots, it seems a bit fluffy.
In "'America's Pioneer School Station'", not sure if, per MOS:PHD, "Carroll Atkinson, Ph.D." is needed here, or it is unclear why an honorific is needed for clarity in this passage as Atkinson already has "historian" to describe their title. If anything William Levenson needs a title, as he is just "William B. Levenson".
The paragraph starting with "Saul Carson" needs an introduction sentence, as leading into reviews feels like an out-of-place reception section.
Same subsection, Provided daily listings from all four networks, ... feels a bit awkward. I would say something to the affect: As the station was provided daily listings from all four networks ...
In "Competition from television", Levenson also noted that television courses need to be presented not as supplementary to a course, but intrinsic to it, ... Second "course" needs clarity as to what course it is affecting. Likely school curriculum courses?
In the same subsection: While many teachers in the district were initially reluctant to work with the medium, a full generation of teachers had "grown up with radio" and thus saw the value and potential of mass media seems a bit contradictory and needs clarification or some context. So yes, a lot of teachers did not embrace it, but then a full generation saw potential. Is this generation in the district or the wider United States? Was the teacher population of mixed generations, and one saw its full potential over the other?
Same subsection, Like WBOE, WVIZ strictly carried in-school instructional fare ... I am unsure what instructional/educational fare is. I feel like it is the word "fare" this is misleading my brain.
Same subsection: Ultimately, educational radio had a mixed legacy: even with WBOE's relative success, the concept failed to materialize on a national level gives a misplaced impression of the overarching idea of the article or section to be "educational radio" rather than "WBOE" itself. I would consider omitting the first half and starting with "Even with WBOE's relative success ..."

Summary

Reading from the first sections into 1.4, I am inclined to fail the nomination at this time mainly for its well-written, and supplementary focus and image factors. I do this because I believe the article needs some love beyond the time frame of a normal GAN-scope might entail. The prose needs some copy-edit love (I would nominate at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors). Furthermore, there are sentences where it introduces complex ideas that need simplification or more context for a broader audience, and others that need clarification as to the meaning of the text. In terms of the manual of style, it is structured orderly, but has some issues that probably need a once over to double check, such as MOS:DUPLINKs and the reference section layout consistency. It is unclear to me why some parts are unreferenced, pertaining to the notes or the first paragraph, but that is not a deciding factor. There are issues to me for some of the body's focus, as it seems to drift away into overarching ideas that do not pertain to WCLV's subject matter. These are both easily fixable and require rewrites of some sections or sentences, as highlighted above. Consideration of the image use, as highlighted below, is a problematic factor for me as it should be addressed. I have read the entire article. There are more issues to be highlighted, but I do not want to overcrowd (or overwhelm) the nomination page.

If the article is nominated again, I would ask the next reviewer to go through these points, plus check 2b-d and 4, as I cannot go through the list without fully delving into the problems of the above. This article has everything, but needs some trim, love, and persistence. Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:40, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Images + stability

For the article, there are a good amount of images, most of which seem properly filed. I do have concerns for three of them: File:Dr. William B. Levenson.jpg, File:National Malleable & Steel Castings Co.jpg, and File:Dr. Paul Briggs and Arnold Pinkney.jpg. At commons:Commons:Deletion requests/File:Dr. Paul Briggs and Arnold Pinkney.jpg, there is a request to delete this image based on the unclear permission. This would seemingly apply to the two other images as well, coming from the same source. I did read their copyright use page, but it still is hazy, as it is unknown whether the Michael Schwartz Library at Cleveland State University has given a green light, or the individual copyright owner (photographer(s)) had given permission. The images that are valid are relevant. The article is stable without any ongoing or active conflicts. Adog (Talk・Cont) 03:30, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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