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Problems
editSame problems as on the Essex County, NJ page. This actually has the potential to be a decent article, but its really a mess right now, and I don't want to get some feedback on the following....
1) No references or sources cited anywhere.
2) Most of the article's first section smacks of emperical observation/original research that's difficult or impossible to verify:
- Many often use the "East Essex" vs "West Essex" argument to show the contrast between the two parts of the county,
- I've never heard this before. I've never referred to where I live in Bloomfield or grew-up in Montclair as East Essex.
- For example, middle and upper class blacks often strive to (and do) move west out of Newark
- This is a completely unverifiable statement. Its more of a problem for being a weasel word statement, tho.
- Working class blacks often work in West Essex.
- This is a completely unverifiable statement. Its more of a problem for being a weasel word statement, tho.
- On the other hand, given Newark's recent revitalization, many upper class whites who live in West Essex commute to corporations, such as Prudential, in Newark.
- This is a completely unverifiable statement. Its more of a problem for being a weasel word statement, tho.
- The towns that separate Newark and East Orange from the West Essex area, such as South Orange, Maplewood, West Orange, Bloomfield, and Montclair have a balance of black and white people, and of different classes, generally unseen in smalltown America.
- This is editoralizing, with an underlying message which is unverifiable. Editoralizing is inherently unencyclopedic.
3) Weasel words:
- Many often use the "East Essex" vs "West Essex" argument to show the contrast between the two parts of the county,
- Who's the "many"? Whats the contrast? Poor blacks vs. rich whites? Its a disgusied POV statement. In other words, the statement seems to say that some people use the term "West Essex" to distinguish themselves from the poorer and parts of the county which also have more black people.
- For example, middle and upper class blacks often strive to (and do) move west out of Newark
- I'm sure middle and upper class whites do to... and so do latinos... and so does everybody... and not only Newark, but also Fairfield... and New York City... and Essex Fells...
- Working class blacks often work in West Essex.
- As I am sure everybody else who isn't black either.
- The towns that separate Newark and East Orange from the West Essex area, such as South Orange, Maplewood, West Orange, Bloomfield, and Montclair have a balance of black and white people, and of different classes, generally unseen in smalltown America.
- This statement seems to say that "these towns are more diverse than smalltown America" Whats smalltown America?
I don't mean to be a pain, this article just doesn't sit well with me, and I am unsure how to make it better. I think the second part of the article is a good start, in that Newark was settled very early, and it really hasn't been until the 60s and later, and after they built Interstate 280 that West Essex has seen its tremendous growth. Roodog2k 19:35, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
Having spent a considerable amount of time reviewing this article I agree with all the comments made by Roodog2k. I suggest this article be incorporated into the Essex Country article which already has a substantial section on Western Essex and one which is far more well written and which will be much easier to edit into submission. Shaztastic (talk) 05:07, 3 December 2014 (UTC)
Assessment comments
editThese have been moved here from a subpage as part of a cleanup process. See Wikipedia:Discontinuation of comments subpages.
I have assessed this article as Start-class and identified the following areas for improvement:
- Add appropriate section headings per WP:MOS
- The article is not comprehensive and needs expansion
- The article needs cleaning up
- The article needs inline citations
- The article needs references