GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:40, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
I'll do this soon. ♦ jaguar 16:40, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- " for the Nintendo 64 personal computers in 1998" - Nintendo 64 personal computers? Is this missing a comma or an and?
- I can't believe I did not catch this one while ce this before. Anyway, done. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:26, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- "and the Dreamcast Game Boy Color in 1999" - same here
- I can't believe I did not catch this one while ce this before. Anyway, done. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:26, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- " It received an 8/8/8/7 score from the Japanese magazine Famitsu Weekly" - the score is uncessecary in the lead, just condense to It received Famitsu's highest rating for a Western-developed title in years
- "...to commission Zed Two to develop a sequel. It was the PlayStation 2 launch title Aqua Aqua, which made little alterations to the main gameplay" - these two sentences can easily be merged to improve flow
- Good suggestion. Done 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:42, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- " Zed Two planned to have it as their first product before Vampire Circus" - might sound better as Zed Two planned release it before Vampire Circus
- "As Zed Two looked for publishers, however, they learned a different lesson about the state of the industry" - this sounds somewhat informal
- "This won Zed Two a deal with Ocean to publish two games: Vampire Circus and the puzzle game" - is this referring to Wetrix?
- "so they intended for Wetrix to be very original" - this adverb is not needed
- Will more work? 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:42, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- "needed to be done quickly to pay the bills" - informal, though you can change it to pay their bills
- " The brothers were angry, Ste critical of how Imagineer did the water effects" - this doesn't read well
- I removed the part about the water effects. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:48, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- " Jeff Gerstmann of GameSpot bashed the earthquake mechanic " - informal
- "Anne Royal of Computer Games Strategy Plus wrote a play-through could end in an instant if even a little bit of control of the chaos is lost" - what does this mean?
- It meant you lost the game if you screwed up a little bit. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:42, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- The article uses dmy and mdy dates inconsistently
- It's all European date format, given the fact that it's developer and publisher are from the European nations of the UK and France. Cites introduced in the Legacy section had American dates, so I fixed that. 👨x🐱 (Nina CortexxCoco Bandicoot) 17:32, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
I spotted numerous instances of informal language and some cases where sentences could be merged to improve flow, but nothing too major. It is comprehensive and mostly well written. I'll leave this on hold until the above issues are fixed. ♦ jaguar 17:03, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for addressing them so quickly. I've read through it again and am confident it now meets the GA criteria. Well done! ♦ jaguar 00:19, 2 January 2022 (UTC)