Talk:What It Is to Burn/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 13:18, 8 October 2020 (UTC)
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I recall you being respectful and patient after I delivered two reviews for you in the past; I will take this article on now as part of the GAN drive! --K. Peake 13:18, 8 October 2020 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
edit- June–July, August–September 2001 → June–September 2001
- Replace hlist with bullet points in the infobox
- Target Pop punk to Pop-punk
- Separate labels using bullet points
- "released on March 12, 2002, jointly through" → "It was released on March 12, 2002, through" as a new sentence
- "to Drive-Thru Records. Recording for their debut album" → "to Drive-Thru. Recording for the album"
- Wikilink music video
- "appeared in January 2003." → "was released in January 2003."
- The last two sentences of this para should come directly after this one instead
- "Initial touring to promote the album consisted" → "Initial accompanying tours for promotion consisted" and this belongs as the second sentence of the second para in the new order
- "in the US and the UK" → "in the United States and the United Kingdom"
- "The band also appeared at" → "The band later appeared on" and this should still follow the other tour sentence in the new order
- "The album's title-track was released as a radio single in" → "The title-track "What Is It to Burn" was released as the lead single in" with the appropriate wikilink
- "by "Letters to You" in April." → "by the single "Letters to You" in April of that year." with the appropriate target
- "Double A-sided single "New Beginnings"/"What It Is to Burn" was released in August." → ""New Beginnings"/"What It Is to Burn" was released as the third and final single on a double A-side in August 2003."
- Move the chart positions of the singles to being here, though they may be ordered more afterwards
- "primarily a pop punk/emo release," → "primarily a pop punk and emo release," with the target
- "is also classed as" → "was also classed as"
- "It received a positive reaction from" → "The album received generally positive reviews from"
- "with many finding it an enjoyable listen." → "being found as an enjoyable listen by many."
- "The album charted at number 99 on the Billboard 200 in the US and at number 177 in the UK." → "On the US Billboard 200, What It Is to Burn charted at number 99, while it reached number 177 on the UK Albums Chart." with the wikilink and this should begin a third para
- "album sales stood at over 400,000 copies." → "the album has sold over 400,000 copies worldwide."
- "charted on the UK top 40 singles chart," → "charted at number 39 on the UK Singles Chart," with the wikilink
- "the top 40 on the" → "the top 40 of the US"
- "The album has since been" → "It has since been"
- "the emo/post-hardcore scene." → "the emo and post-hardcore scenes."
- "The band went on a" → "Finch embarked on a"
- "tour for the album in 2013 through" → "tour in 2013 across"
- "Japan and Australia." → "Japan, and Australia."
Background and production
edit- "under the name Numb with" → "under the name of Numb, with"
- "It was thought that" → "It was rumored that"
- "though Finch has since" → "though Finch have since"
- The source identifies the band as being named Evitca Fresh; fix this
- "owner Richard Reines[1]" → "owner Richard Reines," and move [1] solely to the end of the sentence since it backs all of that up
- Target fan letter to Fan mail
- "Reines offered the group a chance to perform and" → "Richard offered the band a chance to perform for Drive-Thru Records and" per MOS:SAMESURNAME
- "co-label owner, Stefanie" → "co-label owner, Stefanie Reines"
- "were impressed and signed the group." → "were impressed by the performance and signed Finch afterwards."
- Wikilink Escondido, California
- "in February and April 2001." → "in February and April of 2001."
- "They began recording" → "Finch began recording"
- "in June[5]" → "in June of that year" and move [5] solely to the end of the sentence after [4]
- "tracking guitars in July." → "tracking guitars for the album in July 2001."
- "amplifiers. Linares used" → "amplifiers, while Linares used"
- "helped with the album's with guitar effects." → "with the guitar effects on What It is to Burn."
- "into August and September." → "throughout 2001, going into August and September."
- "The group met Palumbo at" → "Finch first met Palumbo at"
- "show and had kept in" → "show, and had kept in"
- "While they were recording, they asked him" → "While they were recording for the album, the band asked Palumbo"
- "Trombino did programming" → "Trombino completed programming"
- Target mixed to Audio mixing (recorded music)
- Target mastered to Mastering (audio)
Composition
edit- Retitle to Composition and lyrics
- "Musically, the album has been" → "Musically, What It Is to Burn has been"
- Target pop punk to Pop-punk
- Remove [14] since not only is four sources enough to be together, but any more is too much to back up the genre
- "The release drew comparisons to" → "The album received comparisons to the music of"
- "Linkin Park and" → "Linkin Park, and"
- "crooning and screaming;" → "crooning and screaming on What It Is to Burn;" with the target
- "around the group jamming." → "around Finch jamming."
- "said they could write a song" → "said they could sometimes write a song"
- "before shifting to aggressive" → "before the song shifts to aggressive"
- Wikilink power chords instead of the full two words
- "It sets the tone for the album" → "The song sets the tone for What It Is to Burn"
- "memorable melodies' parts and tuneful choruses." → "memorable melodies and tuneful choruses." with the target
- "on "Letters to You" bordered on" → "on "Letters to You" border on"
- "was one of the group's oldest songs," → "was one of Finch's oldest songs,"
- "said was about a couple" → "said is about a couple"
- "addressing a letter" → "sending a letter"
Release
edit- Retitle to Release and promotion
- "The Falling into Place EP was released" → "Finch's debut EP Falling into Place was released"
- [25] should solely be at the end of the sentence
- "A music video was released for "Letters to You" in" → "A music video for "Letters to You" was released in" with the wikilink
- ""[a]trocious", while" → ""[a]trocious," while"
- "On January 13, "Untitled" was" → "On January 13, 2001, the track "Untitled" was"
- Target MCA to MCA Records
- "and measurements. The back cover" → "and measurements, while the back cover"
- [7] offers mention of the beaker with boiling liquid but not it being on the back cover
- "boiling liquid. Doherty said they" → "boiling liquid; Doherty said the band"
- "cool imagery"." → "cool imagery.""
- "It was replaced on later pressings" → "The demo was replaced on the later pressings"
- "The UK edition," → "The United Kingdom edition,"
- Target acoustic to Acoustic music
- "The group filmed another music video for" → "Finch filmed a new music video for"
- "in mid-April 2002[31]" → "in mid-April 2002,[31]"
- "on May 24." → "on May 24, 2002."
- "the group signed to" → "the band signed to"
- Wikilink distribution deal
- "was released as a radio single[37]" → "was released to radio stations across the United States as the lead single from What Is It to Burn,[37]" with the wikilink
- "the track[12] with director Alexander Kosta." → "the track,[12] which was directed by Alexander Kosta.
- "on February 21, 2003." → "on February 12, 2003."
- "In March, Punknews.org held" → "In March of that year, Punknews.org held"
- Target vinyl to Phonograph record
- "On April 22, "Letters to You" was released as a single." → "On April 22, 2003, "Letters to You" was released on CD as What Is It to Burn's second single." with the targets
- "and "Letters to You"." → "and "Letters to You" as bonus tracks."
- "Following this," → "Following on from this,"
- "as a double A-sided single on August 25." → "on a double A-sided as the album's third and final single on August 25, 2003." with the target
Touring
edit- Retitle to Tours
- "Following the album's release, the group" → "Following the release of What It Is to Burn, Finch"
- "In April and May 2002, the group went on tour with" → "In April and May of 2002, the band toured with"
- "Following this, the group" → "After this, they"
- Remove wikilink on New Found Glory
- "the group performed on" → "Finch performed on"
- [47] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [48]
- "the Drive-Thru Records Stage." → "the Drive-Thru Records stage."
- "In late August, the group performed" → "In late August of 2002, the band performed"
- "In September, the group performed" → "The following month, Finch performed"
- "In October and November," → "In October and November of 2002,"
- "went tour across the US alongside" → "embarked on a tour across the US with"
- "In November and December, the group" → "In the last two months of the year, Finch"
- [52] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [53]
- "with From Autumn to Ashes and" → "with From Autumn to Ashes as well as"
- [54] should solely be at the end of the sentence
- "January and February 2003." → "January and February of 2003."
- "initially planned to support before being" → "initially planned to be the support act, before they were"
- "went on a co-heading US tour" → "went on a co-headlining US tour"
- "Following this, the group continued touring" → "Following on from this, Finch continued touring"
- [57] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [58]
- "until early March." → "until early March of 2003."
- "In March, the group went" → "That same month, the band went"
- "In April, the group performed" → "In April 2003, they performed"
- "In early May, the band performed at" → "In early May of 2003, Finch performed for"
- "In June, the band" → "The following month, the band"
- "appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live![62]" → "appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live!,[62]"
- "at KROQ's Weenie Roast festival." → "at the KROQ Weenie Roast festival."
- "In early July, the group appeared" → "In early July of 2003, Finch appeared"
- "In August, the group performed" → "The following month, they performed"
Reception
edit- Retitle to Critical reception and I will elaborated on the new order below
- Target FasterLouder to Junkee Media
Critical response
edit- This should not be under a sub-section; it should be the only part of the Critical reception section
- "was received positively for the most part by" → "was met with generally positive reviews from"
- "calling the release "phenomenal", noting that the group" → "calling the album "phenomenal," noting that Finch"
- "The record "exemplifies" → "He also wrote that the album "exemplifies"
- "punk scene", going on to list" → "punk scene," citing"
- "specific sound. The album showcases the group's" → "specific sound, observing that the album showcases their"
- "perky rock" incorporating Glassjaw," → "perky rock," incorporating Glassjaw,"
- Wikilink Molotov cocktail
- Remove The Gateway per WP:RSSM
- "referred to the release as an" → "referred to What It Is to Burn as an"
- Target FasterLouder to Junkee Media
- "described it an" → "described it as an"
- Wikilink chord progressions
- "to the release which" → "to the album, which"
- "He commended the band" → "He commended Finch"
- "said it had "perfect mix" → "said the album has "the perfect mix"
- "the extra edge"," → "the extra edge,""
- "Ultimate Guitar hailed the release," → "The team from Ultimate Guitar hailed the album,"
- "and lacked any" → "and lacks any"
- "said the group" → "commented that Finch"
- Wikilink punk rock
- Target metal to Heavy metal music
- "she felt the lyrics" → "she felt that the lyrical content on What It Is to Burn"
- "said the group bounced" → "said the band bounced"
- "bubbly beats", a fusion which" → "bubbly beats," a fusion that"
- "of charisma", he added." → "of charisma," Lecaro added."
- "criticized the song titles, saying that the band" → "criticized the titles of the songs on the album, saying that Finch"
Commercial performance and legacy
edit- This should be its own section
- "at number 99 on the" → "at number 99 on the US"
- Remove Heatseeker Albums as it is non-notable
- The April 2003 figures should be in the sentence after the first instead
- "It also charted at number 177 in the UK. "Letters to You" charted in the UK at number 39." → "It charted at number 177 on the UK Albums Chart, while "Letters to You" reached number 39 on the UK Singles Chart." with the wikilinks
- "charted at number 15 on the" → "peaked at number 15 on the US"
- [75] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [76]
- Target Mainstream Rock to Mainstream Rock (chart)
- "the album had sold over 400,000 copies." → "What It Is to Burn had sold over 400,000 copies worldwide."
- Rankings should be at the start of the second para
- "included the album's title-track on their list" → "included "What It Is to Burn" at number 47 on their list" since otherwise it sounds like an unordered list
- "said the album was" → "said What It Is to Burn was"
- "leading the genre" → "noting it for leading the genre"
- "In 2013, the group" → "In 2013, Finch"
- "It was initially" → "The celebration was initially"
- "released a live/video album from this tour" → "released a live video album of the anniversary celebrations"
- "The album has been" → "What It Is to Burn has been"
- "Finch's use of" → "Finch's mix of"
- Remove wikilink on A Day to Remember
Track listing
edit- Wikilink Mark Trombino
- re-recorded from the Falling into Place EP → re-recorded from the EP Falling into Place, but with no target on the second mention
Personnel
edit- Split P.R. Brown and Kris McCaddon from the previous two names under production into their own sub-heading; title this fourth one Design
Chart positions
edit- Retitle to Charts
- Remove non-notable Heatseeker Albums chart
References
editCitations
edit- Copyvio score looks good at dead on 20%; congrats!
- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- Remove target on Finch for ref 4
- Target Kludge to Kludge (magazine) on ref 7
- Remove the publisher from refs 8, 10, 11, 17, 44, 76, 77, 78 and 83
- WP:OVERLINK of Chart Attack on ref 12 and remove the publisher
- Wikilink Kerrang! on ref 15
- WP:OVERLINK of Kludge on ref 16
- Wikilink Exclaim! on ref 18 and remove the publisher
- Wikilink Los Angeles Times on ref 19 and remove the publisher
- Remove the author from refs 20 and 65
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 21
- Target FasterLouder to Junkee Media on ref 22 and remove the publisher
- Remove the author from ref 23 and target Alternative Press to Alternative Press (magazine)
- WP:OVERLINK of Finch, MCA and and Drive-Thru Records on ref 42
- WP:OVERLINK of Finch and MCA Records on ref 43
- Wikilink Metal Hammer on ref 52 and remove the publisher
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 56 and remove the publisher
- Wikilink Las Magazine on ref 68
- Remove the author from ref 70 and wikilink Ultimate Guitar
- Remove ref 71 per WP:RSSM
- Zobbel → Zobbel.de on ref 74
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 75 and remove the publisher
- Cite Punknews.org as publisher instead for ref 84
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 88 and wikilink Rock Sound
- Killthemusic → Killthemusic.net on ref 89
Works cited
edit- Target CMJ New Music Report to CMJ
Final comments and verdict
edit- On hold until the issues are fixed, though I suspect you should go through this quite well. --K. Peake 16:42, 9 October 2020 (UTC)
- Done. Yeepsi (talk) 18:01, 9 October 2020 (UTC)
- Yeepsi Did some minor copy editing, but I am very impressed with you quick response rate and how great the work itself is! ✓ Pass time. --K. Peake 07:02, 10 October 2020 (UTC)
- Done. Yeepsi (talk) 18:01, 9 October 2020 (UTC)