Talk:WhiteWater World

Latest comment: 7 years ago by InternetArchiveBot in topic External links modified
Good articleWhiteWater World has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
November 3, 2010Peer reviewReviewed
August 23, 2011Good article nomineeNot listed
December 15, 2011Good article nomineeListed
Current status: Good article

WikiProject class rating

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This article was automatically assessed because at least one WikiProject had rated the article as start, and the rating on other projects was brought up to start class. BetacommandBot 03:17, 9 November 2007 (UTC)Reply

Has now been reassessed according to current article. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:00, 5 September 2010 (UTC)Reply

Coordinate error

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{{geodata-check}} The coordinates need the following fixes:

The coordinates are wrong ( it gives a position in the middle of Pacific Ocean). The right ones are: 27°51'57"S 153°18'57"E

71.125.52.124 (talk) 15:48, 15 December 2009 (UTC)Reply

Done before now. BrainMarble (talk) 01:53, 22 January 2010 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:WhiteWater World/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Mike 289 17:37, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

This is the first article I read that actually looks great! I am entering this with no complaints. In my opinion, this should have been nominated for FAMike 289 17:38, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

This not a review, promotion reverted. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:17, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Shiftchange (talk) 01:39, 28 August 2011 (UTC) The lead needs to be expanded to include key facts, see WP:Lead. I would like to know how well it has been received by the public. Has it been popular, are there any criticisms, third party reviews, etc. Other than that it is a nice article, detailed, well sourced, good photos and follows proper formatting. I would fail this nomination until these matters have been attended to.Reply

I've added a reception section to the article that highlights as much information that I can reliably source. There was one incident however that I haven't included because I would like a second opinion. In October 2008, a paralympian was stopped from going on the rides due to his prosthetic leg. Articles can be found here, here, here, here and here. Is this incident worth mentioning since I am sure would have happened at several other amusement parks and water parks around the world to other people who didn't receive the media attention? Finally, I will further expand the lead over the coming days. Themeparkgc  Talk  06:16, 28 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
I would add a sentence or two about the paralympian as it was covered by multiple sources and the topic of a disabled person's access carries significance more generally. - Shiftchange (talk) 07:25, 28 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
Any ideas of where to put a statement about it? In the reception section (with a focus on the park being critised for it and them defending it) or somewhere else? Themeparkgc  Talk  07:32, 28 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
Possibly in the History section as it was an incident that occurred in the past. - Shiftchange (talk) 08:07, 28 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
I have made the changes you have suggested (including expanding the lead). Is there anything else that could be improved? Themeparkgc  Talk  09:54, 28 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
I can't see anything expect for the addition of the year to image captions, but I don't think that is in the GA criteria. I haven't done too many GA reviews nor worked on an article to that level before. I think it is now a GA (excellent work) but a few other opinions would be best. - Shiftchange (talk) 10:39, 28 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:WhiteWater World/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Mike 289 18:46, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

Okay, since I'll need to make a review, I will do one:

  • Prose check!
Prose is poor, examples:
The cabanas are located are various areas around the park including adjacent to Pipeline Plunge, Cave of Waves and Wiggle Bay. Each cabana comfortably caters for up to four guests with each featuring deck chairs, couches, coffee table, iPod dock, freshly laundered towels and a mini refrigerator
Similar to the other rides on this tower, guests can ride in a single or double tube down the enclosed and open flumes.
Upon entering the water park the first slide tower guests will see contains the park's main thrill slides In-universe
Lots more like this throughout. Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • References check!
No they don't! Parkz is not a WP:RS, most of the "facts" are sourced to promotional literature from the park and various forums and Youtube promotional videos. Two dead links need addressing. Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • Lead check!
No - Lead fails to comply with WP:LEAD Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • Grammer check!
Grammar - not grammer! How can you assess this when you can't even spell? Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • Infobox check!
Not a GA requirement Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • Pictures(when needed) check!

If someone disagrees with me, please add a comment in the next 30 minutes.Mike 289 18:46, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

Just taking a quick glance, the lead has several references in it. For the most part there shouldn't any reason for references in the lead, per wp:lead they are not required if the information is referenced in the body and the lead should not contain information to in the body. This leads me to believe that this is not in the body and should be worked into the appropriate sections.--Mo Rock...Monstrous (leech44) 19:00, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
It appears to me that User:Mike28968 does not have the reading and comprehension skills necessary to review an article against the criteria or even to understand them. I suggest that you retire from GA reviewing until you have gained these skills. Jezhotwells (talk) 19:50, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply
Jez upholds high standards of prose that I do not totally endorse but in this case his points are entirely correct. The biggest problem with the prose is that it is overly promotional in tone, possibly because it is copying the tone of the source materials. The lead is also too short and thus not a good summary of the article (as well as the extensive references in the lead itself). The review was lacking in these respects indicative of a lack of rigorous comparison to the criteria. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 20:31, 23 August 2011 (UTC)Reply

Copy-edit September 2011

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I've just copy-edited this article and I've a few comments:

  • The article had lots of puffery (biggest this, first that, most efficient other etc.) which I've tried to tone down.
  • There isn't much criticism of the park or operator, except the Simmonds incident.
  • Lots of the references originate from the company's own publicity material.
  • The article reads like a publicity piece. I think it needs to be more neutral.
  • I think some points are over-referenced and these will need checking for accuracy and dead links. The aforementioned Simmonds incident had five references - I've reduced this to three.

Those are the problems I've encountered during my copy-edit. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:15, 28 September 2011 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:WhiteWater World/GA3. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wrestlinglover (talk · contribs) 05:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

I still plan on reviewing this article. Just some things have come up. Its weird. The exact moment I planned to start the review I see this page has been deleted.--WillC 05:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  
    Congrats, I pass this article.--WillC 08:18, 15 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Review
Lead
Development
  • "During 2004, Macquarie Leisure, since renamed Ardent Leisure, began planning a water park to be located next to the company's existing Dreamworld theme park. Dreamworld's Chief Executive Officer, Stephen Gregg, and General Manager of Special Projects, Bob Tan, visited water parks around the world to discover the most thrilling and cutting-edge water rides available." - Okay, its a bit wordy and pausing. I say change to "In 2004, Macquarie Leisure began planning a water park to be located next to the company's existing Dreamworld theme park. Dreamworld's Chief Executive Officer Stephen Gregg and General Manager of Special Projects Bob Tan visited water parks around the world to discover the most thrilling and cutting-edge water rides available. Later Tan was quoted saying "...the drawing board for the new park was a restaurant napkin in a little cafe in the US"."--WillC 07:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "On 28 November 2005, Macquarie Leisure announced it would invest $56 million on the project. The announcement referred to the Dreamworld Water Park. Construction began shortly after the announcement." - Merge sentences. "On 28 November 2005, Macquarie Leisure announced it would invest $56 million on the Dreamworld Water Park project, with construction commencing shortly there-after."--WillC 07:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • I can't find a reason in Wikipedia:MOSTEXT for the rides to be in italics. Mind explaining the reasoning?--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "After six months of operation Ardent Leisure announced that WhiteWater World attracted 247,360 visitors, producing revenue of $8.7 million and a profit of $4 million." When did Macquarie Leisure rename themselves exactly? If this was before the name change, then use the old name. Include a full sentence that they changed their name. Something along the lines of "In ???, Macquarie Leisure went through a process of a brand change to Ardent Leisure." or however it went.--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Performance
Expansion
  • "In September 2007, the park added two attractions; a pair of ProSlide Cannon Bowls called The Little Rippers and an events venue called The Shell." Change to a colon, as a semi-colon separates two complete sentences, the second is incomplete.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "The main feature of the application was a 25-metre (82 ft) tower featuring three new water slides; two Mammoth slides and a Tornado Tantrum Alley." Same as above.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "The expansion proposal also featured a lazy river (featuring a "wave channel") and a large water play area." This sentence made me go WTF?. I understand its point but the wave channel comment is just trivia. I say remove it.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "WhiteWater World has not yet proceeded with the expansion, citing the financial crisis of 2007-2010 for the delay." to "The expansion plans have been delayed due to the 2007-2010 financial crisis." - The beginning of the existing one just sounds awkward.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "However its competitor, Wet'n'Wild Water World, entered into an exclusivity agreement with the manufacturer to ensure WhiteWater World did not receive one." - This does not sound neutral in point of view. Is this exactly what happened or is some of this OR, as the source covering it will not open for me?--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "The Wedgie was the first ride in Australia to feature a trap door release and was marketed as Australia's first looping water slide." This is out of the blew and has no introduction. What is The Wedgie, etc?--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Attractions
Other facilities
Reception
References
External links
Images
I shall check the sources later today and finish this review off. Sorry it has taken me so long to complete this. At the time I decided to take it on I had plenty of time, then it all got wrecked. Sorry once again.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Don't worry about it. The 10 days you have taken to complete the review so far is nothing compared to the 4 months this article sat on the GA queue. At least this time I am getting a full detailed review unlike the previous reviews. Thanks Themeparkgc  Talk  21:43, 14 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
I try to cover everything. Its what I'd want done to the ones I write.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

Thank you very much for the time and effort put in on reviewing this article and for passing it. Kind regards Themeparkgc  Talk  08:23, 15 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

No problem. Thanks for waiting. Good article, you did well.--WillC 08:28, 15 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
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