Talk:Wii Play/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 08:09, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Will review. Expect comments to appear soon. MWright96 (talk) 08:09, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Gameplay

• "Upon starting the game only one" - missing comma between "game" and "only"

Noted and fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 13:39, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Pose Mii

• "The game is over scone the player allows 3 bubbles to get past them." - reword this sentence so it reads as follows: The game is over one the player allows three bubbles to get past them.

• Noted and fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 13:39, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Laser hockey

• "Single player mode is a two-minute match against the CPU, whereas in two-player mode the first player to score 8 points wins." - this might be better: Single player mode is a two-minute match against the CPU, whereas in two-player mode, the first player to score eight points wins.

Changed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 13:41, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Billiards

• "The player uses the Wii Remote like a cue stick to hit the cue ball, which can be hit at different angles to add spin or execute jump shots." - change the first "hit" to strike to avoid repitition of the former word.

• Noted and done. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 13:43, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "while committing a foul shot results in losing points." - in a loss of points.

Noted and changed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 13:43, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Fishing

• "Points are given and taken" - deducted

• Fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:24, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Charge!

• "as they attempt to ride through a short course" - negotitate

• Fixed- this one sounded kinda weird to me at first because I've never heard the word "negotiate" used in a context like that, but I looked up the definition(s) of "negotiate" and it makes sense. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:27, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Development

• The first paragraph is awfully long and quite hard to read. You should split it up at the point you start taking about the game's development.

• Split the paragraph at "Wii Play" officially began development..." TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "The game was a compilation of several technical demos showing off the capbilities" - it would better to change "showing off" to exhibiting so that the article is little more formal.

• Noted and fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• Remove the unneeded second wikilink to Shigeru Miyamoto and do the same with Wii Remote and Wii Play

• ...Wii Play?? I can't say that I found any links to Wii Play at all, considering that the article in question is Wii Play. Did you mean to say something else or have I missed something?? Anyhoo, fixed the second WLs for Miyamoto and the WiiMote, and also removed a second one for Wii Fit (is that what you meant to type?) TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• Wii Fit was the game in question. It's what happens when someone rushes things. But anyways, I note that you have done this. MWright96 (talk) 15:01, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "was given around 7-8 months" - seven to eight months

Noted and fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "some of the demos shown off at E3 didn't make it " - did not; contractions are not allowed outside of quotations.

Fixed- this is a mistake I frequently tend to make when writing since I'm so used to writing with contractions and I didn't realize it was a WP policy to not use them until quite recently, so I'm glad you caught this one. I actually tried to scan through this page and look for contractions that I accidentally wrote, but I'm so adjusted to seeing them in writing that it's kind of hard to spot one out. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "was also shown off during the 2006 Nintendo Fusion Tour." - same issue as above.

• The contraction issue?? There don't seem to be any contractions in that sentence unless I'm horribly mistaken and am completely missing something that's blatantly obvious, which is always a possibility of course. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• My bad. That was an error on my part. I meant to suggest that another word should be in place of "shown off". MWright96 (talk) 15:01, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "December 2nd, 2006" - Per MOS:BADDATE, the date should be spelt as December 2, 2006

• Fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "Wii Play was later shown off" - shown off sounds a tad unencycopedic

• Fixed.
• Changed "shown off" to "made playable"... does that sound good? If not then do you have any alternative suggestions?

• "where all 9 games were presented," - spell out nine

• Done. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:18, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Sales

• The wikilink to NPD Group is a redirect link that needs fixing

• Added "the" to the link so it shouldn't redirect. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:20, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "By February 2008 the game" - a comma is needed between "2008" and "game"

• Fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:20, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "The game received a "Diamond" sales award from the Entertainment and Leisure Software Publishers Association (ELSPA)" - no need for the acronym if it is mentioned just this once time.

• Noted and fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:20, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Sequel

• E3 is another redirect link that needs to be rectified.

• Fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:23, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• "and features several games designed to demonstrate the capabilities of the feature." - device

• Fixed. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:23, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

References

• With the date format, you use a mixture of YYYY-MM-DD and MM-DD-YYYY. Use only one of those format in all references for consistency.

• Alright, this is mostly due to some of the refs having been added before I began editing, I'm guessing by someone from a different country. Went ahead and changed them all to MM-DD-YYYY, though I may have missed one or two. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:59, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• Gamespot needs to spelt as "GameSpot"

• *Sighs heavily* This'll be fun won't it! TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:59, 14 December 2017 (UTC)
• Alright, I've gone through and found every single citation referencing GameSpot and capitalized each "S". While I was doing so, I also fixed a couple of citations which were completely missing the publisher section and another onewhich mistakenly said "GameStop" (lol). Once again I may have missed a couple of them, but I think I got every one. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 15:08, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

• Reference 36 is lacking an accessdate

• Added one, and also added them to a few others. I think I spotted quite a few other, older sources that don't have ADs either but I guess they can be fixed later. TheDisneyGamer (talk) 14:59, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

That is all the issues that I found during my read-through. On hold. MWright96 (talk) 10:22, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Fantastic, thank you. I will try and address all of these issues as I can throughout today, I hope to get through all of them by the time I get out of school.

Cheers! TheDisneyGamer (talk) 13:38, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Alright, I think that covers everything except for the couple of ones that I was confused about. Any other thoughts, @MWright96??? TheDisneyGamer (talk) 15:08, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

I added two archive links from reference whose urls are no longer on the active internet. Apart from that, I will be more than happy to promote this article to GA status. MWright96 (talk) 17:14, 14 December 2017 (UTC)

Awesome, thank you! TheDisneyGamer (talk) 19:46, 14 December 2017 (UTC)