Talk:William C. Chasey
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Needs improvement
editDear Sir or Madam: I removed and/or edited the sections to which you refer. Most of the material has been on the page for more than 2 years without question. Thanks for your help, William C. Chasey
There is a lot of jargon and abstruse language that should be improved to meet encyclopedic standards. Another example: this sentence doesn't communicate to a layperson what the purpose of the FCSR is, exactly.
The FCSR is an international network of corporate CEOs working in Poland to affect positive social change through targeted corporate philanthropy.
This is unattributed copypasta directly from the FCSR's mission statement, and it doesn't communicate anything to the layperson. Who are the targets? What type(s) of positive social change? A more focused and universally accessible explanation of the FCSR's mission might be "...to feed underprivileged children in Poland." And "inculcate"? I haven't yet rooted through the WP:MOS to figure out if referring to the FCSR as "The Foundation" is appropriate. Maybe "the foundation"? Otherwise, FCSR. Cyphoidbomb (talk) 20:24, 6 May 2013 (UTC) 70.181.213.25 (talk) 20:48, 9 May 2013 (UTC)