Talk:William E. Woods/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 13:19, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
Nominator: Ezlev (talk · contribs) at 21:47, 7 May 2022 (UTC)

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): } d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Comments

Prose

• Remove these duplicate links:
  • same-sex couples
  • Hawaii Department of Health
  • marriage licenses
  • heterosexuality
  • Hawaii Department of Health
  • Honolulu
  • Hawaii state circuit court
  • pride parade
  • Democratic Party of Hawaii
  • Hawaii Department of Health (3rd)
    • Yikes! Removed. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• Beginning in 1972 and ending with his death in 2008, Woods advocated — Honestly, it can just be "He advocated"
  • Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• he secured a job with the Hawaii Department of Health — 'with' seems odd here. 'for'? 'in'?
  • Changed to 'in'. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• in his capacity as executive director; Woods critiqued — should be a comma in place of the semi colon, I think/
  • Yup, done ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• In the lead's last para, we jump from 1990 to 2003, then back to 1990.
  • Swapped sentences to resolve. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• Redlinks are important, but we have too many of them. Can we remove a few, especially from the lead?
  • Yes, definitely – will circle back to this one. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

  Okay, I've removed several redlinks from the article body. The lede is tricky – the four redlinks there are all relevant, notable, and would be linked from the lede if they were existing articles. WP:REDLINK seems to suggest that they should be included. What do you think? ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:51, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

  If all of them are important, fine. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:50, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

• In the infobox, we have Honolulu, Hawai'i and University of Hawaii [emphasis added]. Interchange them.
  • Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• in Arthur, Illinois before — missing MOS:GEOCOMMA
  • Comma added. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• After graduating from the University of Hawaiʻi in 1971 — Already mentionning in the immediately previous section.
  • Changed to just After graduating from UH. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• for four — "for the four"
  • Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• After the Supreme Court's decision in — Specify 'United States' Supreme Court
  • Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• had a circulation of 40,000 copies, 23,000 in Hawaii and 17,000 across the rest of the United States — exact or approximate?
  • The source doesn't say, so I'd rather not assume, though of course the odds would suggest it's approximate. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• If they were not successfully able to marry, — Rephrase (avoid starting a sentence with 'If', 'Had', etc.)
  • Swapped clauses: Woods planned to take them down the street to the headquarters of the ACLU of Hawaii if they were not successfully able to marry. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• but the media's attention — linking media appears to be WP:Overlinking
  • Unlinked ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• As of January 1992, Woods was executive director of the GLEAF. — Perhaps, "In Jan.."
  • Fair enough, done ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• (equivalent to $4,377 in 2021) — round off to 100s; same with other templates
  • ...I didn't even know that was possible. Done! ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
• Woods acquired nomination papers to run for Governor of Hawaii as a — lowercase 'G' per MOS:JOBTITLE
  • Done, also tweaked wording. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

Nice article!

• Thanks so much, Kavyansh.Singh! I've made the changes you suggested. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

Images

• Looks good! Suggesting to add ALT text.
  • Alt text added. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

References

• Why do we have pp. for newspapers pages? They don't seem to be ranges. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:26, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Ugh, good catch – something to do with the letter inclusion in the page numbering systems. Fixed manually. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

Pretty solid article; promoting! If you have time and inclination, would appreciate if you can review any of these. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:58, 12 May 2022 (UTC)