Talk:William Gabriel Davy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 10:00, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

• Link British Army
  •  Done
• Link Kingsholm
  • I cannot do this, because the link redirects to Kingsholm Stadium.
• Link King William IV of England
  •  Done
• William Gabriel Davy was born in 1780 in Kingsholm, Gloucestershire. → Needs citing
  • The reference after "Persian Secretary" is intended to be the citation for all the text which comes before it. It would be impractical to individually place the citation after each sentence.
    • It's not, there should be a citation at the end of every sentence so that someone could easily look at the source, otherwise it looks like WP:OR. It's pretty standard that everyone should do this.  — ₳aron 08:00, 20 April 2015 (UTC)
      • See WP:CITEDENSE. The example there states that one citation is sufficient for the entire paragraph, as long as that one citation contains all the sufficient information. I have never encountered so much trouble over this before. Look at today's FA, Rhodotus, and notice all the paragraphs which have only one citation and those sentences which have citations midsentence.
        • I've only ever come across the opposite, hence why I'm saying it. "S&M" has a citation at the end of every sentence. But fine.  — ₳aron 15:01, 20 April 2015 (UTC)
• He was the oldest child in his family. → Needs citing
  • Same as above.
• Who was his mother?
  • There does not seem to be any information on this, although I did add his father's name.
• In 1797, Davy became a lieutenant in the 61st Foot of the British Army. → Needs citing
• He transferred to the 5th battalion[3] of the 60th Foot at the beginning of 1802, and was made a captain. → Why is the source mid sentence?
• After becoming the battalion's commander in May 1808,[3] he led the battalion[1] early in the Peninsular War.[4] → Avoid placing citations in the clauses, just put them at the end.
• This section just reads like a list of facts with very short, to the point statements. There's no linking or flow from one to the other.
• Remove the red link for Mondego Bay. There's no point linking to an article which doesn't exist.
  • I respectfully disagree, because red links encourage creation of non-existent articles.
• in actual combat → in physical combat
  •  Done
• Keep consistency with the linking of places. The lead has neither Kingsholm nor Gloucestershire linked, the start of the Life only has Gloucestershire link, and both Adel, Yorkshire are linked.
  •  Done
• You say he remarries, but you don't say anything about divorce or the name of the second wife?
• at 77 years of age. → aged 77
  •  Done
• Why did he die?
• Life section could easily be just two paragraphs, not 5 with one sentence paragraphs.
• Same with the Honours section, just make it one paragraph of prose.
  •  Done

Outcome

It's a very short article, and there's only 7 references. On hold for 7 days.  — ₳aron 16:05, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

I made one or two structural changes. Passing.  — ₳aron 13:32, 25 April 2015 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.