Talk:William Hamlin/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Doug Coldwell in topic GA Review
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:23, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- "1772 – 1869)" unspaced.
- Done
- "state of Rhode Island" link.
- Done
- "He did a" yuck, made?"
- Done
- "He is well known for portrait engravings" maybe "He also made a number of portrait engravings of...
- Done
- "Hamlin was involved" also
- Done
- "He made sextants, quadrants, and refractor telescopes. He built the first " these aren't musical instruments, worth
introducing properly, and merge these sentences.
- Done
- "available to use by the public for astronomy" for astronomy? Well what else would it be used for?
- Done
- "Capt" abbreviation? Is it even needed?
- Done
- "Their other children (and Hamlin's siblings) " not sure the parenthetical clause is needed.
- Done
- "b.1774)" etc, space after b.
- Done
- "His father's occupation was as a pewterer" His father was a ...
- Done
- "He was a person of scientific skills, even though he was self-taught on these technical abilities." opinion.
- Done
- "goldsmith in Middletown, Connecticut.[8] His" overlinked.
- Done
- "in 1791.[11] In 1793 " repetitive.
- Done
- "and did mainly engraving of" -> "and mainly engraved...
- Done
- " St. John's church" is it the formal name, i.e. Church?
- Done
- " sold all kinds of" sold various.
- Done
- "and sheet music with " comma after music.
- Done
- "Hamlin 1826 telescope admission ticket purchased by those interested in using it." - remove from "purchased...
- Done
- "become an engraver. His" link it first time.
- Done
- "His first attempts at engraving were done on copper" "done on" is horrible. maybe "were with"
- Done
- "and did this as an additional business" delete, and add "also" in the previous part of the sentence.
- Done
- "The ticket is titled HAMLIN'S REFLECTING TELESCOPE..." none of this is needed, the image is there.
- Done
- "Hamlin did a variety of engravings" avoid "did" again, maybe "made"?
- Done
- "were done on order" which were ordered? Requested? Bought?
- Done
- "Portraits of George Washington are his most enduring legacy" according to whom?
- Done
- "He did four ..." c'mon...
- Done
- "death of George Washington" don't repeat his first name.
- Done
- " his most famous work" says who?
- Done
- "engraving he did is " last warning.
- Done
- "that of the Experiment" italics for boat names.
- Done
- Apply that to the gallery notes too.
- Done
- "ticket for The Experiment" ditto.
- Done
- "four of which" four of whom.
- Done
- "29, 1852. [2]" no space before ref.
- Done
- Ref 10 and 19 have spaced hyphen, should be en-dash.
- Done
- ISBNs should be consistently formatted.
- Done
- That's my lot. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 15:50, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for review. I'll get started on it, right after my nap = that's what old people do! --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:15, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:34, 4 September 2021 (UTC)