Talk:William Hamlin/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:23, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• "1772 – 1869)" unspaced.
•  Done

• "state of Rhode Island" link.
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• "He did a" yuck, made?"
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• "He is well known for portrait engravings" maybe "He also made a number of portrait engravings of...
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• "Hamlin was involved" also
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• "He made sextants, quadrants, and refractor telescopes. He built the first " these aren't musical instruments, worth

introducing properly, and merge these sentences.

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• "available to use by the public for astronomy" for astronomy? Well what else would it be used for?
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• "Capt" abbreviation? Is it even needed?
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• "Their other children (and Hamlin's siblings) " not sure the parenthetical clause is needed.
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• "b.1774)" etc, space after b.
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• "His father's occupation was as a pewterer" His father was a ...
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• "He was a person of scientific skills, even though he was self-taught on these technical abilities." opinion.
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• "goldsmith in Middletown, Connecticut.[8] His" overlinked.
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• "in 1791.[11] In 1793 " repetitive.
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• "and did mainly engraving of" -> "and mainly engraved...
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• " St. John's church" is it the formal name, i.e. Church?
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• " sold all kinds of" sold various.
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• "and sheet music with " comma after music.
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• "Hamlin 1826 telescope admission ticket purchased by those interested in using it." - remove from "purchased...
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• "become an engraver. His" link it first time.
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• "His first attempts at engraving were done on copper" "done on" is horrible. maybe "were with"
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• "and did this as an additional business" delete, and add "also" in the previous part of the sentence.
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• "The ticket is titled HAMLIN'S REFLECTING TELESCOPE..." none of this is needed, the image is there.
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• "Hamlin did a variety of engravings" avoid "did" again, maybe "made"?
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• "were done on order" which were ordered? Requested? Bought?
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• "Portraits of George Washington are his most enduring legacy" according to whom?
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• "He did four ..." c'mon...
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• "death of George Washington" don't repeat his first name.
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• " his most famous work" says who?
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• "engraving he did is " last warning.
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• "that of the Experiment" italics for boat names.
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• Apply that to the gallery notes too.
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• "ticket for The Experiment" ditto.
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• "four of which" four of whom.
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• "29, 1852. [2]" no space before ref.
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• Ref 10 and 19 have spaced hyphen, should be en-dash.
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• ISBNs should be consistently formatted.
•  Done

That's my lot. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 15:50, 4 September 2021 (UTC)

Thanks for review. I'll get started on it, right after my nap = that's what old people do! --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:15, 4 September 2021 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:34, 4 September 2021 (UTC)