Talk:William of Wrotham/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 13:53, 2 September 2010 (UTC) Ealdgyth, Ealdgyth, Ealdgyth. What did I say about giving me a poke when you nom stuff? :P On a related note, I have a copy of "William de Wrotham and the office of keeper of the king's ports and galleys" if you'd like extra sources; just email me so I know where to send it.

General fixes

• "Although a 13th-century source says that William held a royal office under King Henry II of England, the first contemporary" - might be an idea to stick in the dates of Henry's reign, just to make it clear that the contemporary reference = way after.
• "William secured a papal judgement against Roger by 23 December 1205" - "By 23 December 1205, William had secured a papal judgment against Roger" just to make clear it's an approximate date. The former leaves open the possibility it's a spelling error or archaic grammar.
• "official overall in charge of the stannaries" - "overall" seems rather unnecessary. Personally I'd replace it with "was placed in charge of the stannaries", which seems simpler.
• "₤1100" - "₤1,100"
• "In 1198 and 1199, William was sheriff of Devon and sheriff of Cornwall" - capitalise the start of sheriff, and I believe the offices have boxes attached to place at the bottom of the article.
• "tax of a fifteenth " unlike you and me, most readers aren't experts on ancient tax. Clarifying would be good (although really it is fairly simple to work out).
• "William also was placed" - "was also"
• "from 1206 and 1209" - in 1206 and 1209, or from 1206 to 1209?
• "He was also in charge of naval spending for King John's attempted invasion of France in that year. In 1206, he was in charge of the naval forces in the Cinque Ports as well as commanding the fleet that invaded Poitou that year" - "that year" twice. I'd suggest "In the same year, he was also in charge of naval spending for the attempted invasion of France. In 1206," and so on.
• Otherwise, all good. Ironholds (talk) 13:53, 2 September 2010 (UTC)

• I'll try to get to this this afternoon... I hope. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:56, 2 September 2010 (UTC)

• I've got most of these but two - the succession boxes for the sheriffs (right now, none of the other medieval sherriffs have them and I'm not inclined to worry about it this moment. The whole set of medieval sheriff articles need some serious work, and would rather work that out when I get to them. And didn't change 1100 to 1,100, as it's a perfectly valid choice not to for four digit numerals. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:55, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

• Okie-dokies, but everything else is done? Ironholds (talk) 15:18, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

• Yep. Didn't intersperse as it really didn't seem necessary for this short a list. I have the two "further reading" articles, and when (because why kid myself, he'll go to FAC sooner or later) I take it to FAC, those'll fill in background/detail/etc. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:21, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

• Excellent. In that case, consider this passed; give me a poke when the FAC comes up and I'll stick my oar in. Ironholds (talk) 17:10, 3 September 2010 (UTC)