Talk:Wilson's Creek National Battlefield/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 16:08, 25 March 2020 (UTC)
- "resulted in Missouri remaining in the Union." Optional: for none Americans, who, if they have heard of it all, may relate "Missouri" to the river, perhaps 'resulted in the state of Missouri remaining in the Union'?
- Done
- Link "automobile" - I had to really think about that!
- Done
- "It has been a unit of the National Park Service since 1960" Maybe "unit" to 'pat'?
- Actually, unit is the term used to refer to parks within the NPS system. See [1] (PDF) for an example.
- "The official area of the park was expanded by 615 acres" From what, and to what?
- The source actually doesn't indicate that, and trying to extrapolate out would be very WP:OR. I'm having difficulty finding RS that give this information. Part of me is starting to get the impression that the government might not always keep track of exactly what they had at all times. The ending amount wouldn't be the 1,750, as 60 acres were added in 2018 (added to the article with a source) and a number of very small tracts have been added off and on as people holding battlefield land wanted to sell. (Not added, as relatively minor and WP:UNDUE to list them all.
- "There shouldn't be information in the infobox not repeated in the main article.
- I think I've either added into the main article or removed from the infobox everything now. I didn't give the infobox and lead enough attention, when I looked at this, so nonsense like a parameter stating that the site was built in 1861 remained.
- Hee hee! I naughtily didn't mention that to see if you would pick it up! (I'm in lockdown, I have to make my own entertainment.)
- "Likewise the lead, eg "The Confederates' failure to exploit their victory here resulted in" which I don't see in the article.
- I've changed the wording to be more accurate and added some context to the battle section. Does this help.
- "with the approval of Public Law 108-394" Laws don't usually approve things; do you mean 'under'. or 'in accordance wit'?
- Fixed. Thanks for catching that.
- "highlighting historically important facets of the battlefield" Should "battlefield" be 'battle'? (Open question, I don't know what the source says.)
- I believe battlefield is the better word here, as the park also interpret's elements of the land's history outside of the immediate context of the battle.
- The final sentence is missing a 'which'. Actually, it needs more than that. Could you relook at it?
- I've added the which and changed around the entire second half of the sentence. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that.
- The section about the battle could do with a little work. Two things which jump out are an important point about the Confederates being mentioned in brackets in the middle of a sentence about the Union commander's plans; and the way it goes directly from discussing these plans to "After Sigel's force was driven from the field". What ? How did that happen? Has the battle started?
- I've expanded the battle section by two paragraphs and given some background information. Does this help?
- "File:Battle of Wilsons Creek.png" needs a US PD tag.
- Done
- Why are there two separate USA location maps in the infobox?
- The full country map is to provide context on where this took place relative to the entire country, and the Missouri map is for greater preciseness. I can change the way this is set up if desired (Replace the top image with the painting of the battle present and then replace where the painting of the battle already is with another public domain image such as File:Wilsons-cropped-better.jpg being one idea)
- Below the header image in the infobox is a push pin location map of the USA. Towards the bottom is a pair of toggle maps, the second "Show map of the United States" seems, to me, to essentially duplicate the other USA map.
- Okay, I see what you're referring to now. Only the Missouri map displays now.
- Below the header image in the infobox is a push pin location map of the USA. Towards the bottom is a pair of toggle maps, the second "Show map of the United States" seems, to me, to essentially duplicate the other USA map.
Gog the Mild (talk) 16:08, 25 March 2020 (UTC)
- @Gog the Mild:. I believe I've addressed everything so far. Unfortunately, I probably have to admit that the reviewed version of the article wasn't my top work. Hog Farm (talk) 22:02, 25 March 2020 (UTC)
- Pretty good tidying up though. I think that is everything bar the maps query. I'll have another browse in the morning. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:17, 25 March 2020 (UTC)
Looks good. Promoting.
I have my own checklist - User:Gog the Mild/Misc#GAN checklist - which I run all GANs through immediately pre-nomination. It's not foolproof and this one is obviously customised for me, but you may find something similar useful. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:12, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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