Talk:Work (Iggy Azalea song)/GA2
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Azealia911 (talk · contribs) 23:14, 1 September 2015 (UTC)
First of all, welcome back Marc! I see you've been away for a little while, always nice to have someone return after a month-or-so break. As you can see, I've split my comments up in a way that mirrors the articles layout for ease, any green text
means I'm quoting something from the article. I hope we can work on getting this to GA! Azealia911 talk 17:46, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you! CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
General comments
edit- You use
"Work"
a lot when talking about the song, it becomes quite repetitive, and sometimes stops the flow of sentances, EG,Her rapping pace on "Work" varies from fast intricate rhymes to slow,
sounds so awkward to read. Try using synonyms likethe track
orthe song
- Done
Lead
editis the debut single
is incorrect, technically "Beat Down" is her debut single. I suggest "is the debut solo single".
- Done
- Remove the comma from the first use of
album,
in the first sentence.
- Done
- The T in
The Invisible Men
should be a capital. - Remove
(2000)
, it's generally only used for album years.
- Done
Jonas & Francois
→ Jonas & François
- Done
Background
editDuring December 2012 and January 2013
→ During late 2012 and early 2013
- Done
by Iggy Azalea
→ by Azalea
- Done
- Remove the repeated
(2014)
- Done
- Remove the repeated
(2000)
- Done
Composition
edit- Remove
(2013)
, again, a song.
- Done
Release
edit- This section uses far too many dates, 11 to be exact. Try cutting them down, EG
was then made available in Canada and the United States on 16 July 2013 and 23 July 2013, respectively
can become → was then made available in Canada and the United States in July. There's such thing as too much detail.
- Done
"Work" served as Azalea's debut single,
→ "Work" served as Azalea's debut single as a lead artist,
- Done
- Remove
(EP)
considering you only use the abbreviation once.
- Done
EP
→ extended play, per comment above.
- Done
Critical reception
editKellan Miller of XXL said "Work" was
→ Kellan Miller of XXL deemed the track as
- Done
- Is the full stop after
Respect.
deliberate?
- Yeah. That's how the magazine is titled, much like the "!" in Exclaim! or E! for example. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- I'd remove the entire third paragraph to be honest, the section is bursting with single reviews and it doesn't seem to add much, just a couple of album reviews and more of the same.
- I actually found the last paragraph to be most insightful, so I've done a lot of trimming on the previous two instead. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
Commercial performance
edit- No mention of the songs performance on the Hot Rap Songs chart? I know you're not allowed to use a chart box for it per guidelines, but there's nothing stopping you discussing the songs performance.
- I've went into quite some detail about its parent chart Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs already, and felt had I included Rap songs in prose it would encourage IPs to include it in the chart box. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Remove the certification provider shorteners like
(BPI)
and(MC)
, they're linked in the cert box so there's no confusion.
- Done
Music video
editBackground and development
editJonas & Francois
→ Jonas & François
- Done
- Add a comma after
of the song
- Done
- Add a comma after
(1994)
- Done
Release and synopsis
editVevo
→ VEVO
- Done
Reception
edit- Any comment about the result of the three UK Music Video Awards that the video was nominated for?
- Done
Live performances and Selena Gomez cover
edit- Remove
and Selena Gomez cover
from the title, it's pretty undue considering it's also a live performance of sorts.
- Done
- Speaking of the SG cover, there seems to be undue weight in her mentioning, do we really need three reviews of her performance of someone elses song? I'd make the section all one paragraph, and simply add on
Selena Gomez covered "Work" during her Stars Dance Tour in 2013, in a mash-up with her song "B.E.A.T.". A writer for MuchMusic deemed it "a badass rendition".[104]
to the end of the first bit.
- I found the reviews bits for it quite trivial and unprofessional so I've removed them altogether. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- The sentence about the iTunes festival need sourcing.
- I've added in a few other missing references as well, and updated the section a little. You might want to spot check that. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Remove
(1992)
, again, song.
- Done
- Remove
wearing a white jumpsuit airbrushed with an image of Al Pacino from the film Scarface (1983).
, it's trivial.
- Done
Credits and personnel
edit- Move the liner notes section to the top of the section.
- Done
Track listings
edit- I'd swap the two columns around, considering the solo single came first.
- Done
Release history
edit- The remixes EP was also released to CD
- That appears to be promo CD that DJs used for club play and are now selling secondhand? As far as I know 911.com are the equivalent of eBay? Had an official CD been released it would at least be visible at main retailers like Amazon or Best Buy, even if sold out. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
References
edit- Done
- I highly recommend archiving every iTunes source. iTunes is a reliable source for release dates, but very unstable and forever vulnerable to link rot. I'd suggest using this site to archive links, and add |archiveurl= and |archivedate= to every ref you archive.
- Done
External links
edit- The YouTube link is dead.
- Done
I've deliberately not finished my review as I worry by the time I've got through each section, it'll be too much to work on in a seven day time span, and I'd quite like to see this bumped up to GA. Leave any empty sections alone, and I'll get to them in due time. Give me a buzz when you've addressed all my comments, and I'll carry on reviewing Azealia911 talk 17:46, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Azealia911 Thanks for the prompt response and thorough review so far! CoolMarc 21:34, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- No problem! I've temporarily hidden resolved sections as to not confuse myself, which of course I'll unhide when the full review is over. I'll add more comments about the remaining sections soon! Thankyou for addressing them so quickly and hassle free. Azealia911 talk 21:38, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Cool, thank you! I'm 100% done now with the fixing/adding/copyediting so feel free to continue whenever you have time! Thanks again. CoolMarc 22:26, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Azealia911 All done! CoolMarc 14:44, 3 September 2015 (UTC)
- Cool, thank you! I'm 100% done now with the fixing/adding/copyediting so feel free to continue whenever you have time! Thanks again. CoolMarc 22:26, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- No problem! I've temporarily hidden resolved sections as to not confuse myself, which of course I'll unhide when the full review is over. I'll add more comments about the remaining sections soon! Thankyou for addressing them so quickly and hassle free. Azealia911 talk 21:38, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
Passing, thank you very much for promptly responding to my comments, even if some were picky! If you want to get revenge on me return the favor, I also have an Iggy Azalea song up for GA (Heavy Crown). Azealia911 talk 14:55, 3 September 2015 (UTC)
- Azealia911 370 edits later and I've finally gotten this up to scratch, so chuffed haha! Thanks again. CoolMarc 16:19, 3 September 2015 (UTC)