Talk:Yam fortress/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kaiser matias in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 22:42, 18 January 2021 (UTC)Reply


I'll review this shortly. Kaiser matias (talk) 22:42, 18 January 2021 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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  • "The fortress was completely rebuilt after the Novgorod Republic was incorporated into the Grand Duchy of Moscow. Following the construction of Ivangorod Fortress, Yam Fortress lost its military significance." Add dates to both of these sentences for context.
  • "According to the chronicles..." What chronicles? I'm assuming the Novgorod Chronicle, but that should be made clear.
    • Kirpichnikov in his book does not point to any of chronicles, he simply calls the whole chapter "The features of chronicle history". I'm not sure if setting it on a Novgorod chronicles would be appropriate even if it was remarked in the book's sources. Red wanna talk? 18:57, 23 January 2021 (UTC)Reply
Understandable to not specify. Ideally it should be more clear, but you have to work with what sources give, of course. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:27, 24 January 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "He sent an army lead by Pontus De la Gardie to capture all the fortresses in that region. His main task was to capture Novgorod." Whose main task was to capture Novgorod, John III or Pontus? The consecutive use of "He" and "His" leaves this unclear.
  • " Before September 28, 1581, when Yam was captured, Koporye, Korela, Ivangorod and Narva were defeated. But after a three-day siege in 1590, Russia recaptured Yam." This can be re-worded to be clearer: "Kororye, Korela, Ivangorod, and Narva were all defeated before Yam was captured on September 28, 1581. Swedish forces held Yam until 1590, when Russia recaptured it after a three-day siege."
  • "The now-Swedish form of the town name—Yamburg—did not bother anyone." Does this mean that when the Russians re-captured the town they kept the name "Yamburg"? If so it should clearly say that, as the current wording is not the best way to show that.
  • Both "Catherine the Great" and "Catherine II" are used in the "Russian Empire times" section. As they are the same person I'd suggest just using one form of her name to avoid confusion.
  • "Some of the artifacts found during archaeological excavations were presented to the Kingisepp local history museum." When?
  • It would be helpful to provide English translations of the bibliography here; use the "trans-title" format if you do so. I would also consider translating the author names into English, but that isn't required (though sorting them alphabetically, either via Russian or English is encouraged).
  • This is an interesting article, and I see that you also wrote the Russian version of it, so I'm impressed that you have been able to translate that and bring it into English as well. I don't have a lot of comments here, and nothing too serious to resolve, so once the above are addressed will be happy to pass. Kaiser matias (talk) 17:30, 23 January 2021 (UTC)Reply
I'm good with the changes made, so will pass. Well done. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:27, 24 January 2021 (UTC)Reply