Talk:Yoga as therapy/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Chiswick Chap in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Enwebb (talk · contribs) 17:37, 11 August 2019 (UTC)
You rang? Enwebb (talk) 17:37, 11 August 2019 (UTC)
- Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:48, 11 August 2019 (UTC)
Prose
edit- ...despite much investigation little or no evidence for benefit in specific medical conditions I think it would be better as "benefit to" or "benefit for"
- Done; a Brit thing.
- Add links at first occurrence for Viniyoga; organs; contraindication
- Done.
- with rooms heated to 105 °F (41 °C) and a fixed pattern of 2 breathing exercises and 26 asanas This is a bit unclear to me. Is it a pattern like a cycle? You do the breathing exercises and then the 26 asanas, then repeat?
- Yes, it is a bit surprising. You do the whole thing, which takes a whole session (say, 90 minutes); you do the same in the next session, and the one after that. Said 'sequence'.
- How would you feel about rephrasing this part about the three claims? Instead of magical powers; biomedical claims for marketing purposes; and specific medical claims supported by evidence, how about "magical powers and biomedical claims for marketing purposes, neither of which are supported by high quality studies, and specifical medical claims which are supported". It's implied with your phrasing that the former two are not supported, but I think it would be best to have that explicitly laid out.
- I've added a bit of detail.
- I'm almost fearful to ask, but can you clarify what "and makes the semen steady" is supposed to mean?
- Another translation has "stops the nectar shedding from the moon", which suggests steady-as-you-go, no shedding of the load before the truck arrives at the depot. Fancy trying to reword that delicately? I've, er, massaged the text.
- For your block quote, I think it would be best to lead in with an ellipsis given that you are starting in the middle of a sentence
- Done.
- The history of such claims has been reviewed by William J. Broad simpler as "was reviewed";
- Done.
- Can you vary prose somewhat in #Other conditions? 5 sentences start with either "A systematic review..." or "Another systematic review..."
- I've had a go; we do rather need to use the magic words to keep the MEDRS dragons at bay.
Sources and verifiability
edit- All medical claims appear to be referenced with MEDRS-compliant sources
- Noted.
- The physical asanas of modern yoga are related to medieval haṭha yoga tradition, but they were not widely practiced in India before the early 20th century. can you get a citation there?
- Done.
- No concerns otherwise
- Noted.
Copyvio and licensing
edit- I confirm that I have checked for copyvio. One hit for a duplicated paragraph, but the implicated website is likely mirroring
- Noted.
- Images are all licensed appropriately and in compliance
- Noted.
Pass
editThanks for tidying up the prose. A neat little article and I judge that it meets the 6 GA criteria. Enwebb (talk) 15:30, 13 August 2019 (UTC)
- Many thanks for the review. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:39, 13 August 2019 (UTC)