Talk:You Sang to Me/GA1
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Adog (talk · contribs) 05:21, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
I will take on this review. As part of my song reviews, I will add an informal song review of the song that has no bearing on the review itself. I will fully review this by either Monday, August 21 or Tuesday, August 22. Adog (Talk・Cont) 05:21, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
Writing for Wikipedia, a dog stated "Marc Anthony's name reminded him of Mark Antony, which hopefully did not bring the wrong aura as Antony was pretty bad at trying to do anything. However, Anthony delivered this classic-sounding song from the 2000s". The dog continued, stating, "Anthony's stylish music video, set in New York City, brings back sweet memories for [the writer's] life traveling" and adding "it was a nice romantic ballad attuned to contemporary listener". The dog finished his review by summarizing that Anthony's work "goes beyond the era it lays in, and still touches our hearts nearly a quarter millennia away". Adog (Talk・Cont) 06:18, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
Alright, as for the actual review itself. The following are going to be my suggestions for the editor-at-large during my skim and full read-through on grammar or sentence structure fixes. If you feel the suggestions are inappropriate, not proper, or do not fit the context, feel free to disregard with a comment:
Prose
editLead
edit"You Sang to Me" is a song that was recorded by American singer Marc Anthony for his self-titled fourth studio album (1999).
I would omit "that was" as extra words.... and adult contemporary genres whose lyrics are about a man who lets his life partner walk away, although he is in a relationship with another person.
I would separate the sentence into two starting with "Although" as a new sentence or semi-colon here to link the two.- Upon its release, music critics gave "You Sang to Me" a positive reception, praising Anthony's vocals and the song's arrangements. might read better as
Music critics gave "You Sang to Me" a positive reception upon its release, praising Anthony's vocals and the song's arrangements.
- "Muy Dentro de Mí" topped the Billboard Hot Latin Songs and Tropical Airplay charts in the US. may read better as
"Muy Dentro de Mí" topped the US Billboard Hot Latin Songs and Tropical Airplay charts.
- The sentence
Anthony included the song on the set lists of his 1999 promotional tour, his Marc Anthony 2002 Tour, and his and Jennifer Lopez's El Cantante Tour (2007-08).
might read better by omitting "his" before "Marc Anthony 2002" and "and his" before "and Jennifer".
Background
edit- Possible wikilink "Anglophone" to Anglosphere
- For the second paragraph here, I would add dates as these events are important to note on a timeline. For instance, the month/year when the executive approached Anthony, the month/year of the lawsuit, and when it was settled.
- After being signed to Columbia Records, Mottola hired Cory Rooney, Rodney Jenkins, and Walter Afanasieff to produce Anthony's next album, and they and Anthony co-wrote most of tracks on it I would separate this sentence into two, as the latter half runs a bit awkward. I would also rephrase it. Maybe
... Anthony's next album. Anthony, along with his associates, co-wrote most of the tracks on the album
- The following sentence, "to cross" to "crossing" and a comma after "album"?
One of the songs Anthony wrote with Rooney is "You Sang to Me", which according to the artist ...
I would add a comma after "artist".
Music and lyrics
edit- Anthony's vocal is accompanied ... is awkward here. Maybe
Anthony's vocals are accompanied ...
orAnthony's vocal performance is accompanied ...
. In the song, Anthony chants; ...
The semi-colon here should be a comma.
Release and promotion
editAt the end, Anthony is alone at an art exhibition when Hinze appears behind him and they rekindle their love
Two things here. "In the end" instead of "At the end" and comma before "and".- In the following sentence, a comma needs to go before "Felipe".
Critical reception
edit- Generally, critical reception sections should have an intro section that leads into the overall theme(s) or attitude of the (music) critics. This helps readers get an idea of what critics thought overall rather than deliberating how the sources are interpreted. Same with the second paragraph, if those reviews have a common theme, I would highlight that in an intro sentence.
- For the second paragraph, I would vary how each critic is presented as done in the first paragraph.
- The Tampa Tribune should be italicized, and add "the" in front of the title.
Accolades
edit- Since Michele Johnson first appears here, this person needs a distinguishment or title such as writer or other job position.
... which went to "She Walks This Earth" by Sting
I would add the word "ultimately" between "which" and "went" for better emphasis.
Chart performance
edit... to give Anthony his highest position on the Hot 100
"giving" instead of "to give"?
References
edit- 6, Missing a date parameter. Date is September 19, 1999.
- 11, "July 4, 2000" might be in the wrong parameter considering it is italicized.
- 26, Missing a date parameter. Date is February 22, 2000.
- 29, "Allmusic" as "AllMusic".
- 39, is an error. Was there a source here as it needs repair.
- 44, "LANCE FIASCO" as "Lance Fiasco".
Additional comments or concerns
edit- MOS:DUPLINKs "Columbia Records" and "Jennifer Lopez" in "Release and promotion". "Daily Oprah" in "Accolades".
The first skim and read-through was good. I will fully review the rest of the article tomorrow. Adog (Talk・Cont) 06:18, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- Spot check: In the first sentence of "Background" Anthony's former label. is not supported by its source although the former half of the sentence is. Source to match?
- Spot check: For the sentence Anthony's contract with RMM, however, denied him the right to perform in Spanish for Colombia Records, the way it is phrased, readers might interpret this differently than the source. The source states Anthony was denied the right to make Spanish-records. The sentence implies he was denied to perform anything in the Spanish language. I would change the wording here.
- Spot check: In an interview with Jam!, Anthony described the process of composing the song:[9] probably does not need this reference at the end of this sentence as it is already found in the quote.
- Spot check: Is ref. 17 a reliable source? WP:IBTIMES, if so, can you provide an explanation for its inclusion?
- Spot check: For the sentence
Columbia Records released "You Sang to Me" as the second single from Marc Anthony in February 2000
I can verify the former half, but "in February 2000" I cannot, or my Spanish needs some brushing up on. Source to add to match? - Spot check: I do not believe ref. 62 features anything in the sentence
In Canada, "You Sang to Me" peaked at number 11 and topped the adult contemporary chart according to RPM.[61][62]
. I cannot access ref. 61 either.
First round of spot checks are iffy. Doing a second run below. Adog (Talk・Cont) 23:45, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- Spot check: I cannot verify the sentence Anthony suspected he was not receiving full payment for his recordings from his record label with this source exactly. It seems there was a lot of other issues at play. Either would need another source to match, omit the sentence, or, in my opinion, write further about this dispute.
- Spot check: The sentence Columbia Records executive Tommy Mottola had approached Anthony to sign a contract to record an album in English during the peak period of Latin artists crossing over to the Anglophone market is somewhat supported by its source. Approached Anthony, Mottola, contract, and peak period of the "Latin Explosion" are good. I cannot verify the reason to record an album in English here, nor the overall topic of Latin artists crossing over to the Anglophone market. Source to match or clarification? Likely would rephrase the sentence to include the "Latin explosion" of music genre. I would expand the Background section at this point to add context as to what this "Latin Explosion" is and Anthony's place in it; as many contemporary readers will not understand (likely Latin American music in the United States).
- Spot check: After being signed to Columbia Records, Mottola hired Cory Rooney, Rodney Jenkins, and Walter Afanasieff to produce Anthony's next album,[5] and they and Anthony co-wrote most of tracks on it. Anthony described it as his most personal album to date, and refuted the idea he was another Latin artist to cross over to the Anglophone market because he had already recorded the English-language album When the Night is Over (1991).[8] This passage has a bit of a problem and missing context. With how these sentences are structured back-to-back, it is unclear on what album is being referenced (the self-titled "Marc Anthony"), which is not mentioned in the prose. "most personal album to date" is very close to "it's the most personal album by far", which would fit this sentence better. I would move ref. 5 to the end of its sentence, and also include ref. 8 alongside it.
- Spot check: painter who falls in love with his assistant is very close to "painter who falls in love with his beautiful assistant" from this source, as well as "a guardian angel appears in the form of a homeless man" to "Anthony has a guardian angel who appears in the form of a homeless man". Both need a rephrase.
- Spot check: "You Sang to Me" and "That's Okay" "show off his range the best" is misquoted here. It should appear as
"'You Sang to Me' and 'That's Okay' show off his range the best".
because this sentence is exactly how it is structured in the source cited. Otherwise, it could be the other way if the titles were flipped.
I am going to take a break from the spot checks and return in a bit. These spot checks are crossing over into WP:OR and iffy-territory in terms of close paraphrasing. Adog (Talk・Cont) 23:45, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
Well written + verifiability
editThe article has some issues worth addressing above in terms of prose, content, and context. The article does follow the general manual of style. In terms of sources, most are reliable that I checked, and the article uses a variety of sources to help support the prose. I do have some questions on some sources above. The reference layout is mostly good, with some minor tweaks needed. The spot checks were probably the thing that needs addressing most, as there are some things here and there that need to be rewritten, omitted, or have a source to back up the claim. In terms of Earwig, it appears ok, I would ask the editor to double-check as I did see some cases of close paraphrasing that would not work if this article were to pass. Do double-check the source's presentation of its content and if all parts of the sentence are in a source. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:56, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
Broadness + focus + neutal
editThe article has enough broadness and focus to it, and it should be passable. Although I will note, it could do with a little more expansion to some sections, such as the "Background" to identify better who Marc Anthony is and how this song came to be. The article is neutral towards its subject. Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:56, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
Images + stability
editThe one image that is in the article is relevant to the content, with its paperwork properly filed. The article is stable, with no active or ongoing edit conflicts. Adog (Talk・Cont) 06:18, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: Alright my dude, this article review is completed. I have some concerns about this article that put me on the fence a bit, but I think are fixable in the normal time of the GAN review process to address. To let you know, I will be on vacation from August 23-26, so if you do happen to get to these comments during then, know I will be back after on August 27. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:56, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, I'll get to work on this either Sunday or Monday. Erick (talk) 16:02, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: Courtsey ping since it has been a week since I completed my review and to check up on you. I see on your userpage that you might be in the same predicament as me in terms of the weather events happening now. Hopefully, you are ok and safe. No rush. Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:00, 30 August 2023 (UTC)
- I've doing some works as you mentioned. The only parts I really need to fix are the spot checks and it should be good to go. I'll likely have it done Sunday or Monday as those are my days off from work. Erick (talk) 17:27, 30 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: Courtsey ping since it has been a week since I completed my review and to check up on you. I see on your userpage that you might be in the same predicament as me in terms of the weather events happening now. Hopefully, you are ok and safe. No rush. Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:00, 30 August 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, I'll get to work on this either Sunday or Monday. Erick (talk) 16:02, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
I think I got all of it. Let me know if I missed any. Erick (talk) 17:35, 3 September 2023 (UTC)
- Update: I'm having trouble with the Canadian charts as well. It might be the website itself. Erick (talk) 17:39, 3 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: Hey! The article is getting there, but there are still comments to address such as DUPLINKs, close paraphrasing above, and some of the spot-check comments. If you do not agree with a suggested spot check, feel free to leave a comment and explanation; though, I do highly encourage some changes for clarity and context. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:34, 4 September 2023 (UTC)
- Could you cite some examples that I'm still missing? I also need another week to work on this. Erick (talk) 17:26, 5 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: No problem on the review timeline. Mainly with the latter spot check comments I have plus the MOS:DUPLINKs that are still present in the article. The part on close paraphrasing pertaining to the descriptors of "painter who falls in love" and "guardian angel" need further review and rewording. Quotation pertaining to the last spot check comment, as it may be better enhanced with templates {{" '}} and {{' "}}. Spot check Reference 9 about its citation placement (once before and after quote where it probably needs only the latter placement). The passage pertaining to Anthony not being able to record Spanish records probably needs a slight rewording as to avoid confusion for the reader on what type of Spanish medium he was disallowed to perform. I would double-check and ensure that all are completed. I know some are done, though, few remain unchanged. No rush! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:44, 6 September 2023 (UTC)
- Hey, in case you are watching this page, I wanted to see if there were any updates? Adog (Talk・Cont) 22:09, 19 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'm feeling demotivated to finish this GA. I'm considering withdrawing until I feel better. Erick (talk) 17:28, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: I want to double confirm if you want me to close this review. There is only a little more work to address, and you have done such a great job with the improvements! Adog (Talk・Cont) 21:26, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
- If I don't finish this by Monday, go ahead and fail it. Erick (talk) 15:57, 23 September 2023 (UTC)
- Okay, just one more week. I'm getting my motivation back. Erick (talk) 04:02, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
- No problem. I will be around! Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:40, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
- Kind of cheating I'm sure, but I had trouble paraphrasing with the music video part, so I just quoted the section, would this be okay? Erick (talk) 23:48, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- Looking good! Passing! Adog (Talk・Cont) 23:52, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- Kind of cheating I'm sure, but I had trouble paraphrasing with the music video part, so I just quoted the section, would this be okay? Erick (talk) 23:48, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- No problem. I will be around! Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:40, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
- Okay, just one more week. I'm getting my motivation back. Erick (talk) 04:02, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
- If I don't finish this by Monday, go ahead and fail it. Erick (talk) 15:57, 23 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: I want to double confirm if you want me to close this review. There is only a little more work to address, and you have done such a great job with the improvements! Adog (Talk・Cont) 21:26, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
- I'm feeling demotivated to finish this GA. I'm considering withdrawing until I feel better. Erick (talk) 17:28, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
- Could you cite some examples that I'm still missing? I also need another week to work on this. Erick (talk) 17:26, 5 September 2023 (UTC)
- @Magiciandude: Hey! The article is getting there, but there are still comments to address such as DUPLINKs, close paraphrasing above, and some of the spot-check comments. If you do not agree with a suggested spot check, feel free to leave a comment and explanation; though, I do highly encourage some changes for clarity and context. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:34, 4 September 2023 (UTC)