Talk:Young & Gettin' It/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by MaranoFan in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 13:41, 11 April 2023 (UTC)
I'll review this one soon!--NØ 13:41, 11 April 2023 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
edit- Since there's no release history section, the labels' names should be included in the prose and sourced there. Although I'm not seeing Warner mentioned in any of the sources currently included so you can potentially use Apple Music as a source.
- I'm not seeing the length sourced anywhere either and according to the Apple Music source above it should be 3:27
- The length of 3:26 is per the album, so do I really need to source this? --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- "It was produced by Jahlil Beats, who served as a co-writer with the rappers and Vincent Robinson" → "It was produced by Jahlil Beats, who co-wrote it with the rappers and Vincent Robinson"
- Not done overusage of it --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- "On September 19, 2012, the song was released as the third single from the album, through Maybach Music Group and Warner Bros. Records" - Nitpick but I'd make this active voice: "On September 19, 2012, Maybach Music Group and Warner Bros. Records released the song as the album's third single"
- "A club-influenced track with Auto-Tune usage from Mill and Kirko Bangz" → Shouldn't it be something like "Auto-Tune usage on Mill and Kirko Bangz's vocals" since assumably they did not use the software themselves?
- Done for the above
- "though the auto-tune usage was often criticized" → "though the auto-tune usage was criticized"
- Not done this implies all reviews criticized it --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- I'm seeing usage of both "Auto-Tune" and "auto-tune", this should be consistently the same throughout the article.
- Comment: I've learnt that it is stylized as Auto-Tune on the first instance and then decapitalised --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- "In the United States, the song charted at number 86 on the Billboard Hot 100, while reaching number 25 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart" → "In the United States, the song charted at number 86 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 25 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart"
- The RIAA abbreviation can be removed everywhere in the article since it is not repeated
- "In November 2012, the song was performed live by the rappers and the Roots on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, with contributions from Funkmaster Flex" → "In November 2012, the rappers performed the song live with the Roots on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, with scratches contributed by Funkmaster Flex"
Background and composition
edit- Is there any background info available on when Mill and Bangz first met and if this was their first collaboration?
- Not done searched long and hard already; could not find this. --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure if wikilinks serve any purpose in alt text. I would remove it.
- "who had frequently handled this duty for Mill" → "who had frequently produced songs for Mill in the past"
- Refer to Jahlil Beats by name in the second sentence as well instead of "the producer" per WP:ELEVAR
- "He also touches on the strength to sell drugs" → Replace "touches on" with something--K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC) like "references" or "talks about"
Release and reception
edit- Mention the song's full name in the first sentence
- Shouldn't Dreams and Nightmares be introduced as "Mill's debut studio album" on its first mention in the previous section and not here?
- Not done that is most important when you are talking about the release on the album itself --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- "David Jeffries similarly called it a "hooky swagger anthem" → Maybe remove "similarly" because this comment isn't necessarily similar to the preceding sentences
- "In a highly negative review, Edwin Ortiz" → This seems POV so remove just "highly" or the "In a highly negative review" bit altogether
Commercial performance
edit- This section does not comply with WP:CHARTTRAJ currently. For the Hot 100, you should only mention the #95 debut, the 86 peak and its duration on the Hot 100. For Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs, the "jumped 11 places to number 61 the following week" part will be removed. After the trimming, you can merge both the paragraphs of this section into one.
- Partly done I kept the fact it left the chart since I think that is notable, also not a violation of the guideline. --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
Music video and promotion
edit- Remove wikilinks from the alt text here as well.
- Mention the song's full name in the first sentence.
- "They are shown by beaches" → "They are shown on beaches"
- "before the scene transitions to Miami" → Were the scenes preceding this sentence not set in Miami? Is it known what that location was?
- "this scene transitions back to the yacht partying" → "this scene transitions back to the yacht party"
- Done, yes the location is unknown. --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
Credits and personnel
edit- Looks A-OK!
Charts
edit- Good
Certifications
edit- Not sure the single cert needs to be sortable.
- No formatting to change this --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
References
edit- XXL is linked on ref 10, but not on ref 9
Final comments and verdict
edit- Just some minor stuff here and there. Great work and putting this On hold!--NØ 12:52, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- @MaranoFan: I have sorted all of the issues now; is this a worthy pass? --K. Peake 17:33, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- The caps on Auto-Tune still need to be made consistent throughout the article or this will confuse readers. The Auto-Tune article itself capitalizes it throughout so I am not sure why this would be different on the first mention and everywhere else here. I'm also not understanding why a reader would know Dreams and Nightmares is Mill's debut album while reading the Background section but need it to be described as such in the following section; not an issue that would hold up promotion but I just don't get why... The assumption while writing articles always is that the reader will start reading it from the top and then move below.--NØ 18:58, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- @MaranoFan: I have capitalized Auto-Tune throughout now, however the album introduction is how I've done this consistently since it is most appropriate to mention in the actual release section, for further insight. --K. Peake 07:27, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.