- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 10:40, 1 April 2014 (UTC)
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Annette Winkler
edit- ... that Annette Winkler, CEO of Smart, once headed a commercial truck dealership and became licensed to drive heavy trucks in nine days, to better understand her customers?
Created by 842U (talk). Self nominated at 01:57, 27 March 2014 (UTC).
- Reviewed:Filippa Lagerbäck
- The following has been checked in this review by Matty.007
- QPQ taken care of
- Article created by 842U on 24 March 2014, and has 4223 characters of readable prose
- Please source
After heading a Mercedes-Benz commercial truck dealership in Brunswick, Germany
- Standardise: Daimler or DaimlerChrysler
- Further review coming after above fixed. Thanks, Matty.007 16:39, 29 March 2014 (UTC)
Note: below copied from my talk page so I don't look like I'm talking to myself:
1. QPQ taken care of ok
2. Article created by 842U on 24 March 2014, and has 4223 characters of readable prose ok
3. Please source After heading a Mercedes-Benz commercial truck dealership in Brunswick, Germany: there was already a citation at the very end of the sentence. I've duplicated the citation earlier as well.
4. Standardise: Daimler or DaimlerChrysler: adjusted to reflect "then DaimlerChrysler" with link
Thanks! 842U (talk) 17:44, 30 March 2014 (UTC)
End of copied stuff
- You misunderstood, the fact is not (as far as I can see, apologies if wrong) in the given source. Thanks for clarifying the Daimler thing. Best, Matty.007 18:01, 30 March 2014 (UTC)
- It's right there: "What is your proudest professional achievement? My proudest achievement is getting a license to drive heavy trucks in nine days. When I was appointed as a director of a large Mercedes-owned dealership in Brunswick, Germany, there were many truck customers at the time in that region. I knew that if I didn’t understand those customers because if you don’t understand those customers it would be difficult to manage a business. So I enrolled in a course to learn how to drive heavy trucks. I wanted to learn something about the vehicles to better understand the needs of the customer. It was a lot of fun."
- The current source given at the end of the sentence is ref 5, which doesn't say that. Thanks, Matty.007 19:44, 30 March 2014 (UTC)
- I'm sorry, I have now repeated the sourcing for the Brunswick fact: it's all the same source -- but for the record, the reference article has a small table with the years of her respective employement. Third time is the charm!842U (talk) 15:05, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- Dup det found no copyvios on the couple of spotchecks
- What is the quote on the right adding to the article, it seems like a promotional message from Winkler? Paragraph 3 of 'Career at Daimler AG' also sounds a bit promotional, giving a load of positives both not needed in the article (put in the car article, if anywhere) and a promotional quote designed to help sell cars. Any objections to removing these things?
- Hook is interesting and well sourced, but a bit too long. Suggest shortening to '... that Annette Winkler, the CEO of Smart, once headed a commercial truck dealership and became licensed to drive heavy trucks in nine days, to better understand her customers?'
Just a couple more issues to deal with. thanks, Matty.007 12:50, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- It's right there: "What is your proudest professional achievement? My proudest achievement is getting a license to drive heavy trucks in nine days. When I was appointed as a director of a large Mercedes-owned dealership in Brunswick, Germany, there were many truck customers at the time in that region. I knew that if I didn’t understand those customers because if you don’t understand those customers it would be difficult to manage a business. So I enrolled in a course to learn how to drive heavy trucks. I wanted to learn something about the vehicles to better understand the needs of the customer. It was a lot of fun."
- I'd prefer to keep the quote etc as is -- if someone wants to open a discussion about adjusting the tone of the article at any point, it can be done. She does have a PR background, so she tends to speak that way. Note, the article includes a pretty negative comment about her father's company going into receivership six months after she left it -- to help balance things out.
- Per Wikipedia:Did you know/Hook length: select the text as it displays to the public (not from the edit screen which contains wikitext),guidelines the hook can 200 characters in its final form (without wiki characters). It was 198 characters; I've taken your suggested and made other reductions to get it to 173 characters.
- Thanks!842U (talk) 14:57, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- With the ... and spaces I got 204. With respect, I feel that the comment about her father's dealership doesn't detract from her, rather it says that she was keeping things together well. I would prefer to remove these things, but I will ask an experienced reviewer for a second opinion on the quotes. Thanks, Matty.007 15:33, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- You win. I've taken the quotes out.842U (talk) 16:17, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- It's not a competition, I just feel they are not neutral. You are welcome to restore them and discuss it here? Thanks, Matty.007 16:19, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- No more discussion, please!!! I'm worn down from this.842U (talk) 16:28, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
- It's not a competition, I just feel they are not neutral. You are welcome to restore them and discuss it here? Thanks, Matty.007 16:19, 31 March 2014 (UTC)
