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Template:Did you know nominations/Arab Socialist Ba'ath Party – Syria Region

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by PanydThe muffin is not subtle 16:54, 28 April 2012 (UTC)

Arab Socialist Ba'ath Party – Syria Region

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Created/expanded by --TIAYN (talk). Self nom at 23:01, 24 February 2012 (UTC)

  • Comment: I'm not reviewing this (at least not at the moment), but just commenting that this hook is a whopping 313 characters. You may have overlooked the requirement that hooks have a maximum of 200 characters. I suggest chopping unneeded verbiage right off the top. Also, you want to cool it on the many unfamiliar names that slow reading and make it harder for the core point of the sentence to be parsed. Plus, having too many wikilinks in a hook diverts traffic from your main article. Simplify, simplify, simplify. How about this?
— Marrante (talk) 14:56, 8 March 2012 (UTC)
I've just had a cursory look. The length and date are fine and the article is well-cited, but... there's a big UNDER CONSTRUCTION flag on top! Sorry, but that will have to be removed before this can go forward. If you can be ready with the article in the very near future, come back and put a red arrow here and let everyone know the article is ready for review. Marrante (talk) 03:32, 9 March 2012 (UTC)
You're hook is fine. --TIAYN (talk) 11:13, 10 March 2012 (UTC)
The "under construction" flag is off the article and it is ready to be reviewed. Marrante (talk) 20:55, 12 March 2012 (UTC)
  • accepting on the basis of the previous reviews, the re-writing of the hook and the fact that the "under construction tag" has been removed.--Ishtar456 (talk) 21:49, 26 March 2012 (UTC)
  • According to posts at WT:DYK, this was accidentally passed without actually being fully reviewed. Nikkimaria (talk) 02:12, 28 March 2012 (UTC)
  • sorry, my mistake. The hook fact needs to be cited and "soon after" needs to be replaced with an actual date. I corrected some spelling and the word "organization" appears to be a bit over used.--Ishtar456 (talk) 06:45, 28 March 2012 (UTC)
It is referenced..... --TIAYN (talk) 14:38, 28 March 2012 (UTC)
The reference needs to follow immediately after the hook fact, so..."The Ba'ath Party was founded in 7 April 1947 by Michel Aflaq (a Christian), Salah al-Din al-Bitar (a Sunni muslim) and Zaki al-Arsuzi (an Alawite).(Citation needs to go here) It was a merger of the Arab Ba'ath, founded and led by al-Arsuzi, and the Arab Ba'ath Movement, led by Aflaq and al-Bitar. The party initially worked as a vehicle for the national liberation movement against French rule of Syria and Lebanon. Soon after,[when?] <---Give a date instead of "soon after" and take out the [when]. --Ishtar456 (talk) 17:24, 28 March 2012 (UTC)
Done.... You couldn't have done that yourself??? --TIAYN (talk) 17:28, 28 March 2012 (UTC)
  • since I did not know what the source was or what the date was NO. I did not think it was my job.
  • needs another pair of eyes.--Ishtar456 (talk) 17:39, 28 March 2012 (UTC)
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