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Template:Did you know nominations/Bathsheba's spring and bower

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 17:32, 15 August 2015 (UTC)

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Bathsheba's spring and bower

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  • ... that Bathsheba's spring and bower was the name of a 1700s Philadelphia property and said to be the first spa in the Society Hill area?

Created by Doug Coldwell (talk). Self-nominated at 11:33, 1 August 2015 (UTC).

  • Length is fine, dates are good, tone is neutral, references are plentiful (but offline), and the QPQ is solid. It's unclear to me from the text whether this is the first spa in Society Hill or all of Philadelphia. The phrasing of some sentences is odd, as if by a non-native (or at least non-modern) speaker of English, including "Bower had at the house a table and she furnished tea." and "The house also had a library of books for entertainment to make it a favorite resort for those that came." and "It was called by some that were jealous a nickname of 'Bathsheba's folly.'" As always, I assume good faith but without sources for comparison I have no way to determine if these oddities are a writing quirk or close paraphrasing of 19th century texts. Also, and of more immediate concern, is that while the hook fact is clearly stated in the lede, it is only partially expressed in the body of the text where it is directly cited. Finally, if the hook were shortened it would be quite a bit hookier. - Dravecky (talk) 05:15, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
  • ALT1 ... that Bathsheba's bath and bower was the name of a 1700s Philadelphia spa in the Society Hill neighborhood and the waters were said to be of a curative nature? --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:15, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
  • @Dravecky: Let me see if I can address your concerns. Took out the sentences you were concerned about. Provided URL for Watson "Annals of Philadelphia and Pennsylvania, in the Olden Time". Provided URL for Pei "I.M. Pei and Society Hill: a 40th Anniversary Celebration". The Pei reference is on page 26 under his Vignette section. Shortened hook.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:47, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
  • Rewording, not removal, was my goal but in either case the remaining text is much improved. The online sources are appreciated and will allow me the use of the green check as soon as you can resolve this: is this the first spa in just Society Hill or all of Philadelphia? It's not clear in the article or the hook. - Dravecky (talk) 14:15, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
  • @Dravecky: O.K. Let's see if I can address your concerns. I have in the article - According to architect Ieoh Ming Pei, the 1700s property was set up as a business and said to be the first spa in Society Hill area. "Society Hill" is explained earlier in the article as the one in Philadelphia, as there are several "Society Hills." The source URL goes to Pei's reference as Society Hill's first spa. Will that work?--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:40, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
  • Very nice! I love it when these things move so quickly from good to great. All is well and good to go. - Dravecky (talk) 18:39, 3 August 2015 (UTC)
  • 2nd of 14 uses of that multi-article review. ~ RobTalk 11:20, 12 August 2015 (UTC)
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