Template:Did you know nominations/Beata Olsson

Beata Olsson

(

)

... that when Swedish soccer player Beata Olsson transferred from Florida to Florida State, she said she didn't really know about the schools' rivalry?

Source: ref5

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Stefon

Created by Hameltion (talk). Number of QPQs required: 1. Nominator has 60 past nominations.

Hameltion (talk | contribs) 04:44, 19 August 2024 (UTC).

Not a review, more of a comment: the current hook is very US-centric. The rivalry will probably be understood by US readers, but those outside the US may not be as familiar with the Gators-Seminoles rivalry. My suggestion would be to add some more context to the hook, like saying Olsson helped the Seminoles in their soccer championships. As written, the hook doesn't even make it clear that she's a soccer player! Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 10:20, 19 August 2024 (UTC)
- Hmm, I wouldn't describe that as US-centric, just local. But not being familiar with the rivalry is kind of central to the hook. Could add that she won championships but I think that would be wordy/distract. Added sport. Hameltion (talk | contribs) 13:32, 19 August 2024 (UTC)

I meant that readers would need to know that Florida and Florida State have a rivalry to get the hook. It's a different thing from Olsson being unaware of it. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 01:41, 20 August 2024 (UTC)

I think most readers can infer that two schools within the same state are probably rivals. For the hook, I'd add Olsson's nationality to make it a bit clearer about why she wouldn't know about the rivalry. Sounder Bruce 03:17, 22 August 2024 (UTC)

I've added Swedish to the hook for additional context. I think the additional context about her being a football player and being from Sweden satisfies my original concerns. Full review still needed. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 07:50, 31 August 2024 (UTC)

Might as well do a review as no one else has picked it up. The article is new enough and long enough at the time of the nomination. Her date of birth is mentioned in the article but lacks a reference, so that will need to be addressed. The lede also has a minor grammatical error ("Sweden at youth international level" instead of "Sweden at the youth international level"). I did not find any close paraphrasing, and a QPQ has been provided. The changes to the hook have addressed my concerns and I feel it now sufficiently meets WP:DYKINT as I think the hook fact works with the additional context, even if readers are not aware of the rivalry. Although I added "Swedish" to the hook, it does not fundamentally change the hook fact and it's already verified in the article, so I'll give it an IAR approval rather than ask a new reviewer to approve it, once the issues raise above have been addressed. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 12:22, 10 September 2024 (UTC)

@Narutolovehinata5: Thanks, addressed. Hameltion (talk | contribs) 13:05, 10 September 2024 (UTC)

Thank you. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 15:38, 10 September 2024 (UTC)