Template:Did you know nominations/Coptos Decrees

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:51, 28 August 2014 (UTC)

Coptos Decrees, Shemay

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~~... that the Coptos Decrees reflect the decline of the Old Kingdom?~~

Created/expanded by Khruner (talk), Iry-Hor (talk). Nominated by Iry-Hor (talk) at 07:02, 13 August 2014 (UTC).

New enough, long enough, well cited, neutral and hook is within guidelines. And no need for QPQ as below 5. However, the hook is ambiguous - I have read the article three times and I still don't understand what the hook is trying to say. I also don't think it's written in a way that is interesting enough for non experts. Could I suggest combing this hook with Template:Did you know nominations/Shemay? An ALT could then be along the lines of:

ALT1 ... that the Coptos Decrees are the primary source for the significant powers bestowed upon the vizier Shemay, reflecting the decline of the Old Kingdom of Egypt?

Oncenawhile (talk) 06:22, 27 August 2014 (UTC)

Oncenawhile: Awesome! Your hook is definitely much better! We were indeed trying to say that egyptologists believe the immense powers and honours bestowed upon Shemay by the pharaohs are symtomatic of the decline of the pharaohs own power and control over the Egyptian nobility c. 2170 BC. Iry-Hor (talk) 07:33, 27 August 2014 (UTC)

I didn't know that hooks can be combined. Anyway nice solution, it sounds good for me too. --Khruner (talk) 08:20, 27 August 2014 (UTC)

Great, I'm glad that works. I added a quote and a link for one of the sources to underpin the statement. ALT1 is good to go. Oncenawhile (talk) 14:16, 27 August 2014 (UTC)