- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 07:10, 23 December 2018 (UTC)
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Dawn Mabalon
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Dawn Mabalon
... that Dawn Mabalon (pictured) co-founded an organization to preserve Little Manila, Stockton, California?Source: "Leaving a Legacy: Dawn Bohulano Mabalon, Filipino-American Champion and Historian" -KQED- ALT1:
... that Dawn Mabalon (pictured) wrote about the history of Filipino Americans in Stockton?Source: "Fil-Am historian, activist Dawn Mabalon, 46, dies during Hawaii vacation" -Philippine Daily Inquirer - ALT2:
... that the former San Francisco State University Associate Professor Dawn Mabalon (pictured) co-wrote a children's book about Larry Itliong?Source: "Children’s book on Fil-Am labor hero Larry Itliong is in the works" -Philippine Daily Inquirer
- ALT1:
- Reviewed: Mufti Nemat
- Comment: Article was created from work done at Wikipedia:WikiProject Asian Americans/sandbox/Dawn Bohulano Mabalon, and moved to the main article space on 3 November. At the time of its move it had 4,002 characters of prose (not including spaces). Article was ran through Microsoft Word in order to attempt to ensure it doesn't have any glaring grammatical issues. Three suggested hooks are all stated in the article, and are cited. Nearly all sentences have their own inline citations, and Earwig's highest rating was 33.8% nearly all tied to the names of the subject's books or pronouns. QPQ done here. Image was created by Voice of America and thus is in the public domain. It is used in the article in the infobox.
Created/expanded by RightCowLeftCoast (talk) and Sky Harbor (talk). Nominated by RightCowLeftCoast (talk) at 22:43, 3 November 2018 (UTC).
Article is new enough, long enough, neutral, and well referenced. Three proposed hooks, all written neutrally, interesting enough, and supported with references. I recommend not saying "late" if going with ALT2, since that's a WP:EUPHEMISM for death and not really necessary for the hook. An image is present, and it is licensed as public domain. QPQ is done. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:31, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
- @Muboshgu: would "former" be better than late, or just leave out the fact that the professor is now dead out from the fact statement?--RightCowLeftCoast (Moo) 02:43, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
- I think "former" is better than "late". Leaving it out could be okay too, unless it implies she's active faculty? – Muboshgu (talk) 04:03, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
Hi, I came by to promote this, but I don't find any of the hooks hooky enough for the image slot, and not so interesting in a non-lead slot for readers who've never heard of Stockton. Can you suggest something else? Yoninah (talk) 22:02, 15 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Yoninah: Stockton's place in the history of Filipino Americans can be read at Demographics of Filipino Americans#California, where in Pre-World War II America, it was the largest population of Overseas Filipinos in the world! While Stockton is far from its heydays, it has an important place in the History of Filipino Americans. Much of her work was on highlighting something that has been largely forgotten and surpassed (that is the role that Stockton had within the early 20th century Filipino American culture), as the make up of the Filipino American population has changed over time, with significantly more being centered around Southern California and its current and past ties to the United States Navy, and large population needing many hospitals where Filipino American nurses are employed.
- Therefore, if the hook is to focus away from the California Central Valley and Stockton (which Larry Itliong's notability is also tied to), then one is left to her academic matriculation outside of the Central Valley in Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay Area, or her death in Hawaii. I can write hooks for either, just let me know your preference.--RightCowLeftCoast (Moo) 23:52, 15 December 2018 (UTC)
- I think you should write about what she's notable for, but write it in a hooky way, please. Yoninah (talk) 23:56, 15 December 2018 (UTC)
- How are the present hooks not "hooky"? Muboshgu (talk · contribs) thought that they were. What about the the present hooks are not interesting? Is it because of the hooks revolving about notable things about, or people who are associated with, Stockton, as was stated "I don't find any of the hooks hooky enough for the image slot, and not so interesting in a non-lead slot for readers who've never heard of Stockton" earlier?
- ALT3
"... that Dawn Mabalon (pictured) focused her work on the History of Filipino Americans, particularly their history in Stockton?Source: "Fil-Am historian, activist Dawn Mabalon, 46, dies during Hawaii vacation", Philippine Daily Inquirer - ALT4
"... that Dawn Mabalon (pictured), who wrote about the History of Filipino Americans, died of an asthma attack while vacationing in Kauai?"Source: "Fil-Am historian, activist Dawn Mabalon, 46, dies during Hawaii vacation", Philippine Daily Inquirer - --RightCowLeftCoast (Moo) 00:27, 16 December 2018 (UTC)
- All your hooks are statements of fact. Anyone can read them, learn something, and move on to the next hook. There's no incentive to click on the article to learn more. I'll try to suggest other hooks for you tomorrow. Yoninah (talk) 00:34, 16 December 2018 (UTC)
- Here is an alt suggestion:
- ALT5: ... that professor Dawn Mabalon's (pictured) proofs of discrimination against Filipino Americans led to the neighborhood of Little Manila being listed as one of America's Most Endangered Places? Yoninah (talk) 23:54, 16 December 2018 (UTC)
- I think "former" is better than "late". Leaving it out could be okay too, unless it implies she's active faculty? – Muboshgu (talk) 04:03, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Muboshgu: would "former" be better than late, or just leave out the fact that the professor is now dead out from the fact statement?--RightCowLeftCoast (Moo) 02:43, 1 December 2018 (UTC)
