Template:Did you know nominations/Death of Patrick Cronin
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Lightburst (talk) 22:43, 8 March 2023 (UTC)
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Death of Patrick Cronin
- ... that Pat Cronin, a 19-year-old man, died after he was struck just once on his head during a pub fight? Source: 2017 VSC 678 (paragraph 12)
- Reviewed:
- Comment: Hello, I am new to this process and thought I would try it out. Feel free to let me know if I've made a mistake.
Created by GA Melbourne (talk). Self-nominated at 14:10, 18 January 2023 (UTC).
- Not a review but just a minor comment: the hook should say "died" rather than "passed away", as "passed away" and other euphemisms are discouraged on Wikipedia per WP:EUPHEMISM. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 07:28, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
- Agreed. I have amended the hook. - GA Melbourne (talk) 13:40, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
@GA Melbourne: Article is new enough, long enough, well-sourced and despite the nature of the crime, neutral and soberly written. No QPQ necessary, as one of the user's first five nominations. Found a long borrowed sentence fragment from the ABC sources ("his first senior football match for his local club alongside his older brother"), decided to paraphrase it myself. I detect a definition error in the first sentence of the lede, however: it implies that a coward punch necessarily involves striking the back of this head, when the nominal definition is merely any sudden surprise punch. Although none of the sources I read mention it, a blow to the back of the head is also known as a rabbit punch. Perhaps the lede can be revised slightly and the link to that article included in the See also section? DigitalIceAge (talk) 18:28, 7 February 2023 (UTC)
- @Narutolovehinata5: Sources and media have described the incident as a cowards punch so I essentially alluded to that in the lead. None of the sources called the incident a rabbit punch but since the definition is apt, I have included it in the See also section.- GA Melbourne (talk) 08:41, 12 February 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure as to why I'm still being pinged in this discussion as DigitalIceAge is the reviewer and not I. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 11:22, 13 February 2023 (UTC)
- I am so sorry, that was done in error. - GA Melbourne (talk) 12:52, 13 February 2023 (UTC)
- I'm not sure as to why I'm still being pinged in this discussion as DigitalIceAge is the reviewer and not I. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 11:22, 13 February 2023 (UTC)
- @Narutolovehinata5: Sources and media have described the incident as a cowards punch so I essentially alluded to that in the lead. None of the sources called the incident a rabbit punch but since the definition is apt, I have included it in the See also section.- GA Melbourne (talk) 08:41, 12 February 2023 (UTC)
Changes look good. Fixed a minor spelling error in ALT0, which I will now tick. DigitalIceAge (talk) 02:30, 15 February 2023 (UTC)
- @DigitalIceAge and GA Melbourne: I am just learning prep building so bear with me. I think the sentence that supports the hook in the article needs work, "The first punch struck with the right side of Hopkins' head, the second punch struck Cronin near his ear with the force causing Cronin to stumbling sideways". Causing or caused? and stumbling or stumbled? There are some past and present tense words used in the article. Lightburst (talk) 19:12, 8 March 2023 (UTC)
- @Lightburst: I have amended that to: 'the second punch struck Cronin near his ear with the force causing Cronin to stumble sideways'.- GA Melbourne (talk) 22:11, 8 March 2023 (UTC)
- @DigitalIceAge and GA Melbourne: I am just learning prep building so bear with me. I think the sentence that supports the hook in the article needs work, "The first punch struck with the right side of Hopkins' head, the second punch struck Cronin near his ear with the force causing Cronin to stumbling sideways". Causing or caused? and stumbling or stumbled? There are some past and present tense words used in the article. Lightburst (talk) 19:12, 8 March 2023 (UTC)
- Thank you. Lightburst (talk) 22:37, 8 March 2023 (UTC)
- @DigitalIceAge and GA Melbourne: Might also consider that he was a man and not a boy, maybe we can say teen which demonstrates his age. I think everyone over 18 is considered an adult. Lightburst (talk) 22:41, 8 March 2023 (UTC)