- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: Withdrawn per author's request. --PFHLai (talk) 04:32, 17 November 2011 (UTC)
Diego Archuleta
edit- ... that Diego Archuleta, a colonel in the Mexican forces who fought the U.S. in the Mexican–American War, later became the first Hispanic in the U.S. Army to reach the rank of Brigadier General?
Created/expanded by Marine 69-71 (talk). Nominated by PFHLai (talk) at 16:54, 29 October 2011 (UTC)
Date, length are good. The fact that he was the first Hispanic brigadier general must be in the offline source? Judging by its title. Good to go. The Interior (Talk) 09:48, 10 November 2011 (UTC)
Close paraphrasing concerns. Example: "Before the outbreak of the Civil War, Archuleta had expressed support for the secessionist south, which made him unpopular with Watts and other pro-Union colleagues" vs "Just prior to the Civil War, Archuleta had expressed support for the secessionist south, which made him unpopular with Watts and other pro-Union colleagues". Nikkimaria (talk) 13:34, 10 November 2011 (UTC)
- It has been rephrased as suggested. Tony the Marine (talk) 16:03, 10 November 2011 (UTC)
- Tony, I think Nikkimaria was asking for a rewrite so that the sentence no longer resembled the one in the source. I've changed the wording. NM, are there any other problem phrases you're noticing? The Interior (Talk) 05:54, 11 November 2011 (UTC)
- "Colonel Jose G. Gallegos commander of the Third New Mexico Volunteer Infantry, and Lieutenant Colonel Francisco Perea, who commanded Perea's Militia Battalion" and "President Lincoln appointed Archuleta once again Indian agent" are less egregious examples. I'm also seeing some material that's failing verification: "In his later years he was elected to the New Mexico State Legislature where he served until 1884, when he died in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He was survived by seven children", for example, is not in FN 2. This and the fact that I can't access all the sources make me uneasy about the article. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:19, 11 November 2011 (UTC)
- Fixed those two. Tony, if we are going to pass this, we'll need a comment from you stating a) you recognize the problem, and b) that you've gone over the content from the offline sources to make sure it was written in your own words. Oh, and the later life info needs a new ref. The Interior (Talk) 20:53, 11 November 2011 (UTC)
- I recognize that I'm not good in the field of spotting what needs to be fixed paraphrasing wise. however I do recognize and accept that there may be a problem to that aspect. I asked an editor who is an expert in copyediting to look into the article and to do me the favor of fixing what needs to be fixed. The situation with the later life ref. is that the book, "Hispanics Firsts" is so far the only one that I can find to that respect. Tony the Marine (talk) 01:37, 12 November 2011 (UTC)
- Even though I consider "Hispanics Firsts" as a reliable source, I found a website (Mind you that I do not consider Ancestors.com a reliable source) which makes mention of the facts mention: [1] Coincidence that this person who claims to be a descendant of Archuleta and the book, both make the same mention of 7 children? Maybe, I don't know. Tony the Marine (talk) 02:01, 12 November 2011 (UTC)
- Copy editing performed. At the request of Tony the Marine, I just performed additional copy-editing on the Diego Archuleta article. Please take a look. Nelsondenis248 (talk) 02:22, 12 November 2011 (UTC)
- After the extensive copy-edit and re-phrasing of problem sentences, I'm feeling pretty confident the article no longer has close-paraphrasing issues. I appreciate Tony acknowledging the problem, and hopefully working to avoid it in future articles. If Nikkimaria does not object, I think we can re-tick this one? The Interior (Talk) 04:53, 13 November 2011 (UTC)
- The sources which I have access to are acceptable now; has anyone checked the offline sources? Nikkimaria (talk) 03:36, 16 November 2011 (UTC)
- Withdrawn per author's request. --PFHLai (talk) 04:32, 17 November 2011 (UTC)