Template:Did you know nominations/Hans-Christoph Rademann

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 17:57, 2 January 2012 (UTC)

Hans-Christoph Rademann

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... that a review said about Hans-Christoph Rademann conducting the Dresdner Kammerchor which he had founded in 1985, singing Christmas choral music a cappella: "... even the Angel Gabriel himself would have to approve!"?

Reviewed: Adoration of the Shepherds (Le Nain)

Created/expanded by Dr. Blofeld (talk), Gerda Arendt (talk). Nominated by Gerda Arendt (talk) at 23:30, 26 December 2011 (UTC)

Also reviewed: Patrociño Barela

Alas, I'm too thick to understand what the hook is trying to tell me. Can someone please clean up the grammar and make the English somewhat more idiomatic? The same goes for the articles; although I can (with some goodwill) understand what the text is trying to say, sentences like "Hans-Christoph Rademann founded the choir in 1985 while he was still a student at the Musikhochschule Dresden, formed mostly by fellow students." need some polishing before the articles can be exhibited on the Main Page. --Eisfbnore ^talk 14:21, 2 January 2012 (UTC)

English is not my first language, help most welcome. I tried to fix the questioned sentence in the article, please check. The quote in the hook is from an English source, though, and tells me that the singing is of angelic quality, but if you don't get that we will have to find something else, suggestions? My attempt:

ALT1: ... that "even the Angel Gabriel himself would have to approve" the Dresdner Kammerchor singing Christmas music a cappella, conducted by Hans-Christoph Rademann who had founded the chamber choir in 1985? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:38, 2 January 2012 (UTC)

I think that begs the question if the performance was bad or good (were the angels happy because it was good or unhappy because he did such a bad job and could only perform the piece with their approval), so try...

ALT2: ... that Hans-Christoph Rademann conducted the Dresdner Kammerchor singing Christmas music a cappella so well that that "even the Angel Gabriel himself would have to approve!"? PumpkinSky talk 15:01, 2 January 2012 (UTC)

sort of nice edit conflict, Christmas is more or less over:

ALT3: ... that the chamber choir Dresdner Kammerchor celebrated their 25th anniversary with Mendelssohn's Paulus in the Kreuzkirche, conducted by founder Hans-Christoph Rademann?

ALT4: ... that the Dresdner Kammerchor sang on 9 November 2011 in memory of the victims of the 1938 Pogromnacht in the synagogue of Görlitz, conducted by founder Hans-Christoph Rademann? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:06, 2 January 2012 (UTC)

Alt2 or Alt4 get my vote. PumpkinSky talk 17:12, 2 January 2012 (UTC)

The ALT2 and ALT3 seem fine, although the latter probably needs to have the 'their' before '25th anniversary' replaced with 'its', as the chamber choir is singular. Spotchecks on sources seem fine, no copyvio or close paraphrasing issues. Eisfbnore ^talk 17:16, 2 January 2012 (UTC)