Wikipedia

Template:Did you know nominations/José Maria Larocca

< Template:Did you know nominations
Round symbols for illustrating comments about the DYK nomination The following is an archived discussion of José Maria Larocca's DYK nomination. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page; such as this archived nomination"s (talk) page, the nominated article's (talk) page, or the Did you knowDYK comment symbol (talk) page. Unless there is consensus to re-open the archived discussion here. No further edits should be made to this page. See the talk page guidelines for (more) information.

The result was: promoted by PumpkinSky talk 15:07, 6 April 2013 (UTC).

DYK toolbox

José Maria Larocca

edit
(
)

Created by Brambleberry of RiverClan (talk). Self nominated at 14:23, 4 April 2013 (UTC).

  • I'm placing this on hold for a bit until a few things are addressed. Good to go with ALT2 hook. Montanabw(talk) 19:09, 5 April 2013 (UTC)

First, the hook isn't particularly good; most show jumping riders don't own their horses, so that's nothing particularly interesting. What's more interesting to me is that he got back into riding at the age of 34 and rose to be competitive at the international level. I suggest a new hook

  • New – within the past five days
  • Long enough – the prose portion is at least 1500 characters -Prose is over 1500 characters, but a lot of it is a paragraph list of horses also repeated in a table.


I'd prefer to see more actual biographical prose content on the person, and maybe move the horse owners to the table itself.

  • I'll tackle that sooner or later.
  • Looks like it's fine for DYK length now

Within policy – meets core policies and guidelines, and in particular:

  • is neutral
  • cites sources with inline citations
  • is free of close paraphrasing issues, copyright violations and plagiarism
  • BLPs are tagged – In accordance with Wikipedia's BLP policy:
  • If the nominated article is a WP:BLP, ensure that the talk page exists, and that it displays BLP
  • Hook -- Would like to see a new hook with more interesting facts --Done, just have to determine which one to use
  • Format – less than 200 characters (shorter is better) and meets the formatting guidelines -- All proposed hooks are of proper length.
  • Content
  • interesting
  • hook fact is accurate and cited with an inline citation in the article
  • neutral and does not focus unduly on negative aspects of living people - kind of an implied criticism when it's a common thing All proposed ALT hooks meet this criteria.
  • Other
  • N/A - QPQ – nominators who have five or more DYK credits and are nominating their own articles must review another article. -- Not sure I see which article you have reviewed?
  • This is my fourth nomination altogether, following Doglands, Simon Delestre, and Animal aggression (as you can see by the fact the latter is a redirect, I'm trying to erase all traces of that travesty). Doglands was a failed nom as well.
    • Ok, so you are under the magic five. No problem.
  • NA-Image - none needed in DYK nom, so review not needed

A few other comments:

  • I realize that your source uses the term "sire dam" for the horse pedigrees, but that is a) very weird usage in horse land (probably translated poorly), more common is "damsire" or even the more logical "Maternal grandsire" and b) Usually not as important as the dam herself, it's more common to list the dam, and only sometimes the maternal grandsire. For example, see pedigree of CASHA VAN DE KORNELISHOEVE: http://www.horsetelex.com/horses/pedigree/493682 See also how we do Infobox named horse, for example, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custom_Made I'd suggest that you correct the terminology in the chart and add the dam of these horses either in addition to the maternal grandsires, or just omit grandsires altogether. Though it may cut your prose portion, you might also want to consider putting all the co-owners into that chart as well.
    • That was the usage on the Global Champions Tour pages. I'll probably replace damsire with dam and put the co-owners into the chart, and I'll have to find the other pedigrees.
      Yeah, I noticed. It was a bad translation job there, at best. That http://www.horsetelex.com site seems to have a lot of pedigrees of FEI horses, may be useful. Montanabw(talk) 15:33, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
  • I'd suggest expanding his biography a bit, whatever "other work" he did, perhaps, and maybe a bit more on why he's got so many horses - it's unclear if he's ridden all of them in competition, which he owns or co-owns now, if he shows or has shown all of them himself or just has most of them sitting around on a farm, if he has other riders riding horses under his ownership, or if he's sort of run through one after the other buying and selling, etc... it's a good chart, but a bit confusing.
    • There's not a lot of coverage about him, but I'll do my best.
  • Let me give you a couple different ways to do an international equestrian bio: Rodrigo Pessoa or Karen O'Connor, neither of them are great, but both have more expanded biographical info. Hope this helps. Montanabw(talk) 21:17, 4 April 2013 (UTC)
    • As for the hook, I have two alternatives:
      • ALT1: ... that José Maria Larocca rose to a competitive level of equestrianism at age 34 after moving to Europe to focus on other work?
      • ALT2: ... that José Maria Larocca spent reported millions on the horse Okidoki for the 2012 Summer Olympics, but the horse died two years before the event?
I'll tackle the rest ASAP, but I don't have a lot of time in a day. öBrambleberry of RiverClan 22:35, 4 April 2013 (UTC)
New take on ALT1:
ALT3: ... that José Maria Larocca started his competitive career in equestrianism at age 34? --Pitke (talk) 14:56, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
  • [[[File:Symbol confirmed.svg|16px]]On hold for now while issues addressed PASSED
  • Comments: ALT2 has got that quirky twist that they love on the main page, and I favor that one for that reason. But Alt3 is also good, though I'd say show jumping rather than "equestrianism," which is a bit too broad. I'll go peek at the article now and address the rest. Montanabw(talk) 15:33, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
  • New comments: I've done a run-through of the article, made a few copyedits for you along the way, plus found another source that added a wee bit more about Okidoki, and as soon as I hear from you whether you'd prefer Alt2 or Alt3 for the hook, I can pass the article. Montanabw(talk) 15:57, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
    • I agree with you about the quirky twist for Alt2, so that's what I would go with. Thank you for helping me, by the way! öBrambleberry of RiverClan 16:46, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
DONE! Good to go with ALT2 hook. Montanabw(talk) 19:09, 5 April 2013 (UTC)
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Did_you_know_nominations/José_Maria_Larocca&oldid=1099641696"