- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 17:10, 8 January 2023 (UTC)
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Kimiko Hirata
- ...
that campaigning by climate activist Kimiko Hirata halted plans to build 17 new coal-fired power plants in Japan?Source: "Her grassroots campaign resulted in the cancellation of 17 planned coal power plants." (BBC 100 Women, 6 December 2022)
- ALT0b: ... that campaigning by climate activist Kimiko Hirata halted plans to build 17 new coal-fired power plants following the Fukushima nuclear disaster in Japan? Note: Proposed/discussed/approved below.
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Railway with a Heart of Gold
- Comment: Technically one day late but request extension per D9, which allows extensions to be requested within one or two days
Created by Cielquiparle (talk). Self-nominated at 01:03, 17 December 2022 (UTC).
- Cielquiparle:
- general: article is long enough. it was nominated about 10 hours after the seven-day deadline, but as the article was already long enough when the deadline passed, i would be happy to grant a d9 extension.
- policy: article is sourced and neutral. earwig highlighted a few proper names and some phrases that are difficult to reword, such as "she also organized protests at" and "hazards of coal power". however, i think "to rein in lending to coal companies" and "She has a Ph.D. in social sciences from Waseda University" could be reworded. (note that mos:abbr suggests using "PhD" instead of "Ph.D., though one could simply say "doctorate".)
- qpq: provided.
- hooks: hook is under 200 characters, interesting, accurate, cited, and neutral. wikipedia appears to generally not use a hyphen in the phrase "coal power plant" (or use the phrase "coal-fired power station" instead), but i think it is fine either way.
- points outside of the dyk criteria:
- i think it might be useful to add links or explanations for terms that may be familiar to climate activists but perhaps not to main page readers, such as "decarbonization".
- i feel that "Dr." should be dropped, as per mos:doctor.
- the article for carbon tracker appears to avoid using a definite article before the think tank's name.
- the cited rief source does not appear to state that hirata left kiko network, but only that she stepped down from the directorship; she mentioned remaining as a board member.
alt0 approved. dying (talk) 21:37, 17 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks dying for the helpful and detailed review. Regarding the punctuation in the hook, I've now slightly tweaked alt0 so it reads "coal-fired power plants" instead of just "coal power plants" which I think solves the hyphen question and is clearer. I've also made minor corrections throughout, as you suggested, and incorporated information from a couple more sources in two places for clarity. (Not sure there is a lot more I could say about her new think tank's decarbonization programs, but I've wikilinked now to the decarbonization page and also included a reference to a report they issued this year about Japan's plans for ammonia use.) Cielquiparle (talk) 23:23, 18 December 2022 (UTC)
- looks good, Cielquiparle. thanks for addressing these points! dying (talk) 02:10, 21 December 2022 (UTC)
- dying: Sorry to bother you again, but I wanted to ask if you could review this slightly revised hook – I think it's more direct and clearer – and I'm thinking straight past tense is ok too because she isn't doing that kind of campaigning anymore.
- ALT0a
... that campaigning by climate activist Kimiko Hirata stopped 17 new coal-fired power plants from being built in Japan?
- Please let me know if this looks ok (and if so, maybe we strike ALT0 – looking at it fresh, the words are hard to parse somehow). Thanks again. Cielquiparle (talk) 10:34, 28 December 2022 (UTC)
- no worries about bothering me, Cielquiparle. i can see what you're going for in alt0a, so i'll approve it.personally, though, i prefer alt0, as it gives the additional detail that the plants had already been planned, while if i had seen alt0a on the main page today and not known about hirata beforehand, i would have probably assumed that her campaigning was responsible for japan's recent shift in energy policy, and that the 17 plants could have been nothing more than an estimate previously mentioned by a government minister. if the hook's tense is an issue, dropping "has" might resolve it.regarding alt0a itself, since the plants never existed, it seems strange to state that the plants were stopped, rather than, for example, that the building of the plants was stopped. also, i am not sure if it is appropriate to state that something was stopped if it was never started in the first place. (i believe the idiomatic use of the phrase only means that the building of the plants was prevented, though the context may suggest that the process had already started.) i might have used a wording like "prevented the building of 17 new coal-fired power plants in Japan", but am not sure if this is more complicated than what you were aiming for, so i'll let you decide if it should be changed. alt0 and alt0a approved. nominator may strike either hook if preferred. dying (talk) 20:14, 28 December 2022 (UTC)
- Hello again dying. Thank you very much for the feedback. Based on your comments, I'm striking ALT0a. I am taking your advice and striking "has" from ALT0, but also adding a bit more historical context to anchor the hook in time. What do you think of the revised hook below?
- ALT0b: ... that campaigning by climate activist Kimiko Hirata halted plans to build 17 new coal-fired power plants following the Fukushima nuclear disaster in Japan?
- Look forward to your feedback. Cielquiparle (talk) 22:48, 29 December 2022 (UTC)
- Cielquiparle, i was already familiar with the historical context when i first encountered your hook, so i admittedly wouldn't be able to tell you if providing the context would have been helpful to me had i not been familiar with it. however, i feel i should point out that, without further context, a main page reader may interpret the reference to fukushima to mean that, as a response to the disaster, hirata campaigned to halt the building of 17 coal-fired power plants that had been planned before the disaster. in any case, i believe alt0b is accurate as stated, so i'll approve it.by the way, i've taken the liberty of removing "has" from alt0, as i am assuming from your comment that you had intended to do so. please feel free to restore it if you had only meant to not use "has" in alt0b. alt0 and alt0b approved. nominator may strike either hook if preferred. dying (talk) 08:39, 31 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you so much for giving this so much thought, dying. I have now struck ALT0 and am happy with ALT0b. After giving it more thought, mentioning "Fukushima nuclear disaster" does provide important context. Someone once said to me, the best hooks always offer one element that is familiar and recognizable to the reader – and in this case I think that is it. Yes, it's unclear what exactly the story was with the planned power plants, but the reader can click more to find out (also that there are 33 more plants that were not halted). All the best to you in the New Year! Cielquiparle (talk) 09:59, 31 December 2022 (UTC)
- happy to be of help, Cielquiparle. that's actually pretty good advice for hooks, so thanks for sharing that. i hope the additional context helps the hook do well. best wishes for the new year! dying (talk) 23:49, 31 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you so much for giving this so much thought, dying. I have now struck ALT0 and am happy with ALT0b. After giving it more thought, mentioning "Fukushima nuclear disaster" does provide important context. Someone once said to me, the best hooks always offer one element that is familiar and recognizable to the reader – and in this case I think that is it. Yes, it's unclear what exactly the story was with the planned power plants, but the reader can click more to find out (also that there are 33 more plants that were not halted). All the best to you in the New Year! Cielquiparle (talk) 09:59, 31 December 2022 (UTC)
- Cielquiparle, i was already familiar with the historical context when i first encountered your hook, so i admittedly wouldn't be able to tell you if providing the context would have been helpful to me had i not been familiar with it. however, i feel i should point out that, without further context, a main page reader may interpret the reference to fukushima to mean that, as a response to the disaster, hirata campaigned to halt the building of 17 coal-fired power plants that had been planned before the disaster. in any case, i believe alt0b is accurate as stated, so i'll approve it.by the way, i've taken the liberty of removing "has" from alt0, as i am assuming from your comment that you had intended to do so. please feel free to restore it if you had only meant to not use "has" in alt0b.
- Hello again dying. Thank you very much for the feedback. Based on your comments, I'm striking ALT0a. I am taking your advice and striking "has" from ALT0, but also adding a bit more historical context to anchor the hook in time. What do you think of the revised hook below?
- no worries about bothering me, Cielquiparle. i can see what you're going for in alt0a, so i'll approve it.personally, though, i prefer alt0, as it gives the additional detail that the plants had already been planned, while if i had seen alt0a on the main page today and not known about hirata beforehand, i would have probably assumed that her campaigning was responsible for japan's recent shift in energy policy, and that the 17 plants could have been nothing more than an estimate previously mentioned by a government minister. if the hook's tense is an issue, dropping "has" might resolve it.regarding alt0a itself, since the plants never existed, it seems strange to state that the plants were stopped, rather than, for example, that the building of the plants was stopped. also, i am not sure if it is appropriate to state that something was stopped if it was never started in the first place. (i believe the idiomatic use of the phrase only means that the building of the plants was prevented, though the context may suggest that the process had already started.) i might have used a wording like "prevented the building of 17 new coal-fired power plants in Japan", but am not sure if this is more complicated than what you were aiming for, so i'll let you decide if it should be changed.
- ALT0a
- dying: Sorry to bother you again, but I wanted to ask if you could review this slightly revised hook – I think it's more direct and clearer – and I'm thinking straight past tense is ok too because she isn't doing that kind of campaigning anymore.
- looks good, Cielquiparle. thanks for addressing these points! dying (talk) 02:10, 21 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks dying for the helpful and detailed review. Regarding the punctuation in the hook, I've now slightly tweaked alt0 so it reads "coal-fired power plants" instead of just "coal power plants" which I think solves the hyphen question and is clearer. I've also made minor corrections throughout, as you suggested, and incorporated information from a couple more sources in two places for clarity. (Not sure there is a lot more I could say about her new think tank's decarbonization programs, but I've wikilinked now to the decarbonization page and also included a reference to a report they issued this year about Japan's plans for ammonia use.) Cielquiparle (talk) 23:23, 18 December 2022 (UTC)
