Template:Did you know nominations/Malcolm Mencer Martin

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:19, 7 March 2019 (UTC)

Malcolm Mencer Martin

edit

Created by 97198 (talk). Self-nominated at 12:11, 22 January 2019 (UTC).

Interesting life, on few but solid sources, no copyvio obvious. I could do without the internment in the hook, but up to you. I think an infobox would clarify the slightly confusing names. In the first paragraph, please consider to not begin every single sentence with "he" ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:25, 24 January 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but "fled" sounds a lot more dramatic than the source ("left") and the article ("immigrated to"). Also, why "professor of medicine" instead of "pediatric endocrinology"? Yoninah (talk) 11:22, 31 January 2019 (UTC)
For me, a little drama seemed a good summary of leaving and internment, - I'd support the higher precision of the other. How is this: you word something and I can approve, unless 97198 comes up with a better idea? - I need a review fast, btw, it's on DYKTALK. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:55, 31 January 2019 (UTC)
  • @Yoninah: Sorry for the delayed reply. Feel free to change "fled" to "left" or similar. I used "professor of medicine" rather than "pediatric endocrinology" as I thought the latter was unnecessarily specific for a hook and would probably mean very little to most readers. 97198 (talk) 05:52, 3 February 2019 (UTC)
  • @Yoninah: Sounds good to me. :) I would write it as "graduated from King's College". 97198 (talk) 12:21, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
  • Thank you. Gerda, could you review ALT1 please? Yoninah (talk) 12:28, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
Can you rephrase it not to end on "war's end"? ... and the "from"? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:40, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
  • But that's the point. He was a prisoner at the beginning of WWII and a college graduate by war's end. 97198 asked for the "from". Yoninah (talk) 15:38, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
I could show you what I mean, but then can't approve. I don't say don't mention it, just not at the very end of the hook. - Well, as no content is changed, perhaps I can do the rewording:
ALT1a: ... that Austrian-born Malcolm Mencer Martin was interned by the British at the beginning of World War II, and when it ended he graduated from King's College, Newcastle?
DYK that this hook mentions medicine nowhere? I'll watch. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:47, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the rewording. There's already 2 facts in the hook, I think it's too much to say everything. Yoninah (talk) 21:27, 5 February 2019 (UTC)
  • @Gerda Arendt: You didn't give a reason for opposing the previous wording apart from personal preference. In my opinion Yoninah's version reads nicer in native English, so I've unstruck it for the promoter to decide, since there is no difference in the content of the two alt hooks. Thanks to you both for your help with this nomination. 97198 (talk) 14:34, 6 February 2019 (UTC)