Template:Did you know nominations/Persis Foster Eames Albee

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:17, 29 April 2017 (UTC)

Persis Foster Eames Albee

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PFE Albee 1886

~~... that PFE Albee (pictured) is considered the very first "Avon Lady" and was followed by 500,000 more?~~

Source is James: "With over 500,000 Avon ladies in the United States, Avon has been careful to partner with them" and Olsen: c. 1886, U.S. saleswoman PFE ALbee becomes the first of about of about a half million "Avon Ladies." as refs #28 & #29.

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/D. J. Wilson - using second of two.

Created by Doug Coldwell (talk) and 7&6=thirteen (talk). Nominated by Doug Coldwell (talk) at 11:46, 14 April 2017 (UTC).

Interesting life, on good sources, no copyvio obvious. The image is licensed and the perfect match. - Minor questions: I would word the hook differently, how is this?

ALT1: ... that PFE Albee (pictured) is considered the first "Avon Lady", followed by about a half million others?

Her parents: when I read about a father and a mother, I assume they were not married, otherwise I'd expect "and his wife". I may be wrong ;)

I can't tell if she's known as PFE, because the lead says only "also".

I guess she was born Eames, not Albee.

I find it funny to read about her husband's profession a while after they got married.

"There has been about 450,000 Avon Ladies", I'd expect "There have been about 450,000 Avon Ladies", or better no "there" at the beginning anyway ;)

Please check if every new section has her name (and not just "she") when referring to her.

Someone will tag the article for "lead too short", better avoid that. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:10, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

@Gerda Arendt: Great ideas so I could improve the article. I learn a lot from you and it shows that you are an experienced editor. Made those corrections you suggested. Will that work? I struck the original hook, as I would rather go with your ALT1 suggestion.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:56, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

Thank you for changes. It's still "Albee was born", while I guess Eames was born, no? I would give her an infobox where I could clarify name/birth name/other name ;) - She should not be referred to as "Albee" until she got married.

I made minor changes myself, please check. Hummel figurines are little things, they don't "make", - you probably mean the company, or rephrase. Also, there are a few "also" close to each other ;) - I trust that you will manage!

--Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:00, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

Gerda Arendt Dünke. Suggestions implemented. 7&6=thirteen (☎) 16:17, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

Comment to promoter - Can this be put as #1 in the queue. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk)

I copy edited the article per User:Yoninah's suggestion. 7&6=thirteen (☎) 19:58, 29 April 2017 (UTC)

User:Yoninah Copy edited again. Invoked Earwig and did a comparison to the URL. Earwig comparison to the URL you directed me to. I am not trying to discomfit you. Nor am I being defiant. And I am not happy that you are not happy. But I don't see the problem. 7&6=thirteen (☎) 20:47, 29 April 2017 (UTC)