Template:Did you know nominations/Public Security Forces 2

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 14:41, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

Public Security Forces

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... that a governmental commission has found that Bahrain Public Security Forces involved in last year's protests have occasionally "used force and firearms in situations where this was unnecessary and in a manner that was disproportionate"?

Comment: This article had CV issue before and it has been resolved. I have less than 5 DYK credit.

Created/expanded by Bahraini Activist (talk). Self nom at 18:49, 29 February 2012 (UTC)

: The article is sufficiently long, though it could do with copyediting to remove minor grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The hook is properly referenced. However, at 236 characters, it is currently too long. Also, the phrase in quotation marks has not been accurately quoted from the source, which states: "During these operations, especially riot control operations that were carried out by PSF units, force and firearms were used in an excessive manner that was, on many occasions, unnecessary, disproportionate, and indiscriminate." Since the phrase is not a direct quotation from the source, I suggest that the quotation marks be removed. — Cheers, JackLee ^–talk– 20:17, 14 March 2012 (UTC)

ALT1... that Bahrain Public Security Forces involved in Arab spring protests have occasionally used force and firearms in unnecessary situations and in a disproportionate manner?

Also, I've made a minor edit to the article, feel free to point or edit any specific grammatical mistakes. Mohamed CJ ^(talk) 21:11, 14 March 2012 (UTC)

Or, here is a version that preserves more of the sense of the original hook. ALT2: "... that a government commission has found that Bahrain Public Security Forces involved in Arab spring protests sometimes used force and firearms unnecessarily and in a disproportionate manner?" (189 characters.) — Cheers, JackLee ^–talk– 07:45, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

Good, thanks for reviewing :) Mohamed CJ ^(talk) 07:50, 15 March 2012 (UTC)