Template:Did you know nominations/St John Passion structure
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Victuallers (talk) 16:29, 17 April 2014 (UTC)
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St John Passion structure
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- ... that Bach set a text mentioning prison and freedom as the central movement in the structure of his St John Passion (top of first page pictured)?
- Reviewed: Jesus Christ is Risen Today
- Comment: For Good Friday, 18 April
5x expanded by Gerda Arendt (talk). Self nominated at 21:17, 4 April 2014 (UTC).
Hook short enough, 329 (2Kb) to 1868 (11Kb) words of readable prose clearly a 5x expansion and then some, expansion recent enough, long enough, properly sourced.
Hook starts a little slow, "... that Bach set a text mentioning ..." Just like the other article I reviewed for you, can you pep up the hook just a little bit? It's precise, but a bit dull... Perhaps "Bach mentioned prison and freedom...? Or something? - I don't want you to say anything inaccurate, of course, just say it a little peppier! Montanabw(talk) 23:22, 11 April 2014 (UTC)
- ALT1: ... that in the structure of Bach's St John Passion (top of first page pictured), the center of symmetry is the verse "Durch dein Gefängnis ... ist uns die Freiheit kommen" (By your prison ... came our freedom)? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 06:23, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- That's over 200 characters. Maybe something like (but say it in your own words, you'll be more accurate) "...that in the structure of Bach's St John Passion (top of first page pictured), the text of the central movement of the work focuses on the tension between prison and freedom? Montanabw(talk) 07:03, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- The pictured clause doesn't count, did you know?
- ALT2: ... that in the structure of Bach's St John Passion (top of first page pictured), the center of symmetry is "Durch dein Gefängnis ...", expressing: "By your prison ... came our freedom"? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 07:48, 12 April 2014 (UTC)