Template:Did you know nominations/Troy Sachs

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 22:39, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

Troy Sachs

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... that Australian men's wheelchair basketballer Troy Sachs (pictured) competed for clubs in six countries, winning seven total league championships for five different teams?

Reviewed: The Crusader (sculpture)

Created/expanded by LauraHale (talk). Nominated by Hawkeye7 (talk) at 05:13, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Article was created on 9 September 2011 and nominated on 10 October 2011 (nomination over 30 days since article created). The article however was substantial expanded on 10 October 2011.
Article is over 4,000 characters in length.
Article is neutral and cites sources with inline citations.
Hook is 170 characters long
Hook fact appears to be accurate and neutral. The lead sentence in the article however states Sachs played club basketball in four countries winning seven total league championships for five different teams whilst the hook states he competed for clubs in six countries. The article indicates that he did in fact play in club competitons in six countries, with teams he played for winning seven league championships. The lead sentence therefore needs rewriting to reflect the content of the article. It would also assist if there were aditional references to support the citation. Dan arndt (talk) 09:01, 17 October 2011 (UTC)

Fixed lead. --LauraHale (talk)

I've raised a minor issue of how many distinct teams he played for at Talk:Troy_Sachs#Slix_vs_Razorbacks. John Vandenberg ^(chat) 12:31, 17 October 2011 (UTC)

There's no need for the word "different" in the hook. Unfortunately, the Basketball Australia site is inaccessible to me, so I can't help with the above issue about the number of teams. Graham87 09:39, 18 October 2011 (UTC)

I've updated the intro, and recommend a different hook is chosen. something like "that Australian men's wheelchair basketballer Troy Sachs (pictured) has won seven championships in four different club leagues and gold medals at two Paralympic Games?" John Vandenberg ^(chat) 22:17, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

ALT2 ... that Australian men's wheelchair basketballer Troy Sachs (pictured) has won seven championships in four different club leagues and gold medals at two Paralympic Games? Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:10, 2 November 2011 (UTC)

AGF that the above checkmarks were correctly performed; this hook is verifiable using the article and its sources. Note: Please expand ref 14 from a bare link. - The Bushranger _{One ping only} 03:56, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Fixed bare link. Hawkeye7 (talk) 04:03, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Good to go. - The Bushranger _{One ping only} 07:20, 7 November 2011 (UTC)