Template:Did you know nominations/USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Victuallers (talk) 18:53, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage

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World War II-era PBY Catalina

... that USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage will focus on the bravery of the crewmen aboard USS Indianapolis (CA-35)?

ALT1:... that it took five years to finish the development of USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage by consulting the survivors of USS Indianapolis (CA-35), the US Navy and the US Coast Guard?
Reviewed: Journey Through the Impossible

Moved to mainspace by Captain Assassin! (talk). Self-nominated at 03:52, 26 June 2015 (UTC).

New enough. Long enough. Sources say in development since 2011, which would be 4 years, not 5. Plus, correlation is not causation. Too much close paraphrasing/copyvio; for example, "300 went down with the ship and all others were died by saltwater poisoning and shark" in the article and "300 went down with the ship while the rest faced exposure dehydration saltwater poisoning and shark" in the Variety source. NPOV. QPQ done. First hook checks out, but is rather dull - aren't all war films about "bravery"?. Well-cited. Edwardx (talk) 11:20, 28 June 2015 (UTC)

@Edwardx: I've rephrased the close paraphrase. Five years of development is mentioned in the source. Yes, all war films are about "bravery" but not about the crewmen aboard USS Indianapolis (CA-35). --Captain Assassin! ^{«T ♦ C ♦ G»} 11:34, 28 June 2015 (UTC)

That was only a sample of close paraphrasing/copyvio - likely that there are others! Edwardx (talk) 11:37, 28 June 2015 (UTC)

ALT2:... that the production of USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage, a film about USS Indianapolis disaster, was put on-hold temporarily after a World War II-era seaplane (pictured) broke apart during filming?

@Edwardx: Article's copy-edited and ALT2 is suggested. --Captain Assassin! ^{«T ♦ C ♦ G»} 19:22, 5 July 2015 (UTC)

There is still too much close paraphrasing. For example, "silo inc would handle digital effects while hydroflex to handle underwater filming for the film" ("for the film" is redundant) in the article, and "silo inc will handle digital effects and hydroflex will oversee underwater photography" in the source. Please don't just fix the examples noted - look at the whole article! ALT2 looks okay; I trimmed a word from it. Edwardx (talk) 15:40, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

@Edwardx: I did some more copy-edit. Please review the nom now. --Captain Assassin! ^{«T ♦ C ♦ G»} 14:17, 11 July 2015 (UTC)

A new reviewer is required, all requirements are fulfilled. ALT2 is re-edited and added an image of one of the planes. --Captain Assassin! ^{«T ♦ C ♦ G»} 17:14, 23 July 2015 (UTC)

hook cited and faithful to sources....pity we can't use an image of the plane sinking into the waves....Earwigs negative (apart one sentence that was a tad too close), good to go. Cas Liber (talk · contribs)

@Captain Assassin!: The sources state that the plane broke apart during the salvage operations following the incident, not during filming itself, so this hook is slightly inaccurate. Could you tweak this a bit? It's extremely close, but the necessary factual change is too significant for me to copyedit and promote. Ping me when you propose a suitable alt and I'll look at it quickly. ~ Rob^Talk 22:09, 5 August 2015 (UTC)

ALT3:... that a World War II-era seaplane (pictured) broke apart during a salvage operation after it started taking in water during the filming of USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage~~, which was put on-hold temporarily~~?
ALT4:... that the production of USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage was put on-hold temporarily after a vintage World War II-era seaplane (pictured) broke apart during a salvage operation after it started taking in water?

@BU Rob13: ALT3 and 4 are suggested. --Captain Assassin! ^{«T ♦ C ♦ G»} 01:52, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

ALT3 approved, with some text struck out due to length. Both hooks as proposed were over 200 characters, but ALT3 didn't need the final phrase to be interesting and complete. If you prefer to propose another ALT instead of running with the reduced ALT3, you're welcome to have another go, but I didn't want to hold you up any more than necessary. If you do decide to propose another hook, ping me. ~ Rob^Talk 02:06, 6 August 2015 (UTC)