Template:Did you know nominations/Wrangell Bombardment

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 06:33, 11 November 2017 (UTC)

Wrangell Bombardment

(

)

View of Fort Wrangell under construction in background, Stikine in foreground, 1868

~~... that the first execution in Alaska by US authorities took place in 1869, the accused Stikine man surrendering to the US army as a result of the Wrangell Bombardment?~~ Source: This execution was also the first instance of capital punishment carried out in Alaska, see R. Michael Wilson, Legal Executions in Alaska and Hawaii: A Comprehensive Registry (n.p., R. Michael Wilson, 2011)."[1], as well as table 2 in [2]

Created by Icewhiz (talk). Self-nominated at 08:23, 19 October 2017 (UTC).

Comment (since this will be asked) - Earwig's Copyvio highest score mostly jumps for a attributed quotation of a short US army letter (which I believe is in the public domain, and is in any event attributed). Other than that (less significant matches) - it is names, jargon, locations, dates, etc.Icewhiz (talk) 08:42, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
This article is new enough and long enough. The image is in the public domain, the hook facts are cited inline, the article is neutral and I detected no significant copyright issues. As far as I can see, this is Icewhiz' first DYK, so no QPQ is needed. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:06, 22 October 2017 (UTC)

Hi, I came by to promote this, but I find the hook hard to follow, winding as it does toward the bolded subject. Could you put the subject up front and write a more concise hook? Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 11:31, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

@Yoninah: How about - ~~ALT2: ... the 1869 Wrangell Bombardment of a Stikine village by the US army led to the first death penalty application in Alaska by US authorities?~~ Icewhiz (talk) 11:42, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Wrangell Village in 1868

Didn't it "result" rather than "led to" the first application? But ALT2 seems to leave out some details which might make the hook hookier. What do you think about:
ALT3: ... that the US Army bombarded the village of Wrangell, Alaska (pictured) in 1869 to force the handover of the first man to be given the death penalty under US rule?
I added a new image from the article for ALT3. Yoninah (talk) 23:08, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

That's good.Icewhiz (talk) 04:52, 9 November 2017 (UTC)

Thanks. I know I didn't add any information to the hook, but I did rewrite it, so maybe another reviewer could sign off on ALT3. Pinging @Cwmhiraeth: Yoninah (talk) 15:03, 9 November 2017 (UTC)

ALT3 is acceptable, as is the new image, which is in the public domain. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:48, 9 November 2017 (UTC)