Wikipedia

User:53/Funny things

< User:53

Italicized text in sections below are notes about said sections.

From WP:Teahouse

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How to breathe

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 2603:6011:8D00:B870:B5D0:91D9:CD19:8572 (talk) 00:48, 19 April 2021 (UTC)

We cannot give medical advice. If you are having trouble breathing call a doctor. RudolfRed (talk) 01:59, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
In, out, in, out, in, out.... repeat as needed. David notMD (talk) 12:41, 19 April 2021 (UTC)

Casper "Big Snowflake" Wells

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Vandalism by another user, but I thought it was pretty funny. Taken from this revision.


Casper "Big Snowflake" Wells
 
Wells with the Seattle Mariners
Outfielder
Born: (1984-11-23) November 23, 1984 (age 40)
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Batted: Right
Threw: Right
MLB debut
May 15, 2010, for the Detroit Tigers
Last MLB appearance
September 28, 2013, for the Philadelphia Phillies
MLB statistics
Batting average.230
Home runs25
Runs batted in81
Teams

Casper Charles Wells V (born November 23, 1984) is an American former professional baseball outfielder. Casper "Big Snowflake" Wells questionably stands 6'2" and likely weighs over the reported 210 pounds currently.[1]

Return to Detroit

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On February 21, 2015, the Detroit Tigers signed Wells to a minor league contract.[2] Wells was unsurprisingly released on May 1, 2015 after a lackluster career without ever reaching over 1.0 WAR in any season of his deservedly short lived career.[3]

References

References

  1. ^ "Casper Wells Stats, Bio, Photos, Highlights". MLB.com. Retrieved July 31, 2011.
  2. ^ Beck, Jason (February 21, 2015). "Tigers bring Wells back on Minor League deal". MLB. Retrieved February 21, 2015.
  3. ^ Schmehl, James (May 1, 2015). "Detroit Tigers release outfielder Casper Wells, reliever Omar Duran from minor league system". MLive. Retrieved May 1, 2015.

Typo and Autocorrect issues

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Elvis Peguero's debut

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Error is bolded. Taken from this revision.


Elvis Peguero
Los Angeles Angels – No. 59
Pitcher
Born: (1997-03-20) March 20, 1997 (age 27)
Cotuí, Dominican Republic
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
MLB debut
August 26, Los Angeles Angels, for the 2021
MLB statistics
(through August 26, 2021)
Win–loss record0-1
Earned run average67.50

How nice is Barry Svrluga?

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This edit was discovered via Reddit, leading to others adding their opinions about him to the page.

Life

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Svrluga attended Duke University. He is a four-time D.C. Sportswriter of the Year Award–winner, a very nice man, not a very nice man, and an overall average person to be around.

Deep into the life of Connor Davis

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Taken from several revisions, including this one, which was the final result of many revisions.

Since the beginning of 2020, Davis has been in a relationship with Dermatology Nurse Practitioner Meghan Fay, a fiery red-head who often gets mistaken for various famous French supermodels.[1] She formerly helped cheer on the Washington Nationals as a member of the Nat Pack.[1] The couple turned heads on Halloween in 2020 for their costume wherein Davis and Fay portrayed Disney couple Hercules and Megara.[1] The couple is also quite a sight to see given their impressive 19 inch height difference. Also a point of contention, a 1 year age difference. Neither party was available nor chose to comment on this statement.

They have a teeny-weeny cutsie pootsie cavapoo puppy named Phoenix, whom they adopted in late 2020.[1] They have 16 adopted/foster children aged 5-25 years and at least 4 rescued palomino ponies as well named Skippy, Jiffy, Stiffy, and Wilford. When asked about their hectic farmhouse lifestyle, Fay states, “I’ve always liked this living. So rustic and natural. Great for the skin, you see.”

Davis is a well-respected philanthropist and overall winner of a human being in general. It has been rumored that Davis uses specialty horse shampoo laced with gold flecks to maintain his lucious locks. When asked directly, he states, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He’s always been so humble. Way to be, Connor.

He wears a respectable size 16 shoe and supposedly auctioned his New balance 504’s (pre worn in) for the less fortunate. Heart of gold. At least 14 karats. He reports these were the best shoes he’s ever owned and reportedly owns 10 more pairs of these staple white dad foot ornaments.

Reference

References

  1. ^ a b c d Fay, Meghan. "Instagram".{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)

JamesOn Curry's legacy

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Taken from this revision, which was the final result of four revisions.

Basketball legacy

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The Chicago Bulls selected Curry with the 51st overall pick of the 2007 NBA draft. On August 2, 2007, the Bulls announced that Curry had signed a contract and would wear number 20. Per team policy, terms of the contracts were not disclosed.[1][2]

On July 31, 2008, the Bulls waived Curry.[3][4][5] By releasing him, the Bulls were only obligated to pay $100,000 of his partially guaranteed salary for 2008–09.[6]

In August 2008, he was signed by Pau-Orthez of the French league,[7][8] but was waived in October after failing to impress coaching staff.[9] He later joined Proteas EKA AEL, a Cypriot team in Limassol.[10]

On January 22, 2010, Curry was signed by the Los Angeles Clippers from the Springfield Armor, for whom he had been averaging 16.1 points, 7.5 assists and 4.0 rebounds.[11] He was released by the Clippers on January 26, when the team acquired Bobby Brown.[12] He was subbed into a game on January 24, 2010, playing just 3.9 seconds. This was the only time Curry would ever play in an NBA game,[13] and is the shortest NBA career in terms of time played.[14]

NBA D-League career

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The Bulls assigned Curry to their NBA Development League affiliate Iowa Energy on November 15, 2007,[15][16] then recalled him to the NBA on December 17[15][17] but soon after reassigned him to Iowa on January 7, 2008.[15][18] He was recalled later that month.[15][19] Curry played 13 games as a starter for Iowa during the 2007–08 season, averaging 20.2 points, 3.2 rebounds, 5.6 assists, 1.08 steals and 39.7 minutes per game. He also shot .463 from the floor, including .377 from three-point range, and .719 from the free throw line.[19] Curry was selected 14th overall in the 2009 NBA D-League Draft by the expansion Springfield Armor on November 5. It was their first-ever pick.[20] Curry was selected to play in the 2012 NBA D-League All-Star Game in Orlando.

On November 1, 2013, he was re-acquired by the Springfield Armor.[21] On January 2, 2014, he was traded to the Bakersfield Jam.[22] On March 19, 2014, he was waived by the Jam due to a season-ending injury. He lives in Enid, Oklahoma.

Off the court legacy

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In February 2004, Curry was among 49 students arrested in a drug raid that involved North Carolina's Alamance County school system.[4] He was charged with two counts of possession with intent to sell and deliver marijuana, two counts of sale and delivery of marijuana, and two counts of sale, possession, and delivery of a controlled substance on school grounds.[4][23] Curry pleaded guilty to the drug charges, and the University of North Carolina, with whom he had signed a letter-of-intent, rescinded the scholarship to him.[4]

In the early morning of January 17, 2008, he was arrested in Boise, Idaho and pleaded guilty to resisting arrest and urinating in public.[24] Police took him to the Ada County jail. He was released a few hours later after posting $600 bond.[24] The Chicago Bulls suspended him one game after he pleaded guilty to the two misdemeanors.[5]

On October 20, 2014, Curry was arrested for marijuana possession and false representation to an officer in Edmond, Oklahoma.[25]

References

References

  1. ^ "Bulls sign former OSU star Curry". Associated Press. August 2, 2007. Retrieved 2007-08-04.
  2. ^ "Bulls sign JamesOn Curry". NBA.com. August 2, 2007. Archived from the original on August 7, 2007.
  3. ^ "Bulls waive JamesOn Curry". NBA.com. July 31, 2008. Archived from the original on August 5, 2008.
  4. ^ a b c d "Chicago Bulls waive guard JamesOn Curry". Oklahoman.com. July 31, 2008.
  5. ^ a b "Bulls waive '07 second-round draft pick Curry". ESPN.com. July 31, 2008.
  6. ^ Cite error: The named reference chicagosports was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  7. ^ "The Hoop: Pau Orthez signed Jameson Curry". August 21, 2008.
  8. ^ "Pau-Orthez enrôle JamesOn Curry".
  9. ^ "The Hoop: Pau Orthez to replace Curry". October 9, 2008.
  10. ^ http://www.nba.com/media/dleague/jameson_curry.pdf
  11. ^ "Clippers' Telfair out 4–6 weeks; Curry signs". ESPN.com. January 23, 2010.
  12. ^ "Clippers acquire guard Bobby Brown from New Orleans". Los Angeles Times. January 27, 2010.
  13. ^ "Armor Re-Acquire JamesOn Curry". OurSports Central. January 28, 2010.
  14. ^ Bois, Jon (December 30, 2019). "The 10 least consequential athletes of the decade". SBNation. Retrieved January 1, 2020.
  15. ^ a b c d "Chicago Bulls All-Time Transactions". Chicago Bulls.
  16. ^ "Bulls Assign JamesOn Curry To Iowa Energy".
  17. ^ uvlyBulls Recall JamesOn Curry From Iowa Energy
  18. ^ "Bulls Re-Assign JamesOn Curry To Iowa Energy".
  19. ^ a b "Bulls Recall Curry From Energy".
  20. ^ Belanger, Kyle (November 6, 2009). "Springfield Armor select former Chicago Bulls guard JamesOn Curry with their first pick". masslive.com.
  21. ^ "Returning Players Highlight Initial Training Camp Invites". Archived from the original on December 4, 2013.
  22. ^ "Jam Trade for JamesOn Curry". Archived from the original on 2016-09-10. Retrieved 2014-03-20.
  23. ^ Evans, Thayer (March 15, 2005). "Cowboys' Curry Makes Most of Second Chance". The Washington Post. Retrieved 2007-07-09.
  24. ^ a b "Bulls rookie Curry arrested for urinating in public". ESPN.com. January 17, 2008.
  25. ^ Mark Schlachtenhaufen. "Tail light issue leads to NBA player's arrest". The Edmond Sun.

Everyone hates Leah Hextall

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Taken from revisions such as this and this.

Leah Hextall (born c. 1981) is a Canadian sports journalist and perhaps the worst ice hockey play-by-play broadcaster in the entire NHL. In March 2020, she became the first woman to call play-by-play for a nationally televised NHL game as part of Sportsnet’s first all-female broadcast team.[1] She then proceeded to make many games unwatchable when paired with her monotone announcing style coupled with numerous stretches of dead air and long delays in announcing action on the ice. She is quite possibly the worst play by play announcer in the universe, causing trillions of fans to mute their tv and or cut one if not both ears off.

Broadcast career

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In May 2021, the New York Post reported Hextall had been signed by ESPN to ruin every NHL on ESPN broadcast as a play-by-play announcer and to "other posts" for the upcoming 2021–22 NHL season.[2]

She also owns a world record by shattering six windows shrieking about Leon Draisaitl's shorthanded goal during the telecast of the Los Angeles Kings vs. Edmonton Oilers, Game 5, on May 10, 2022.

References

References

  1. ^ Salvian, Hailey (2020-03-06). "A new voice: How Leah Hextall is breaking barriers in the NHL broadcast booth". The Athletic. Retrieved 2020-12-10.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)
  2. ^ Marchand, Andrew (2021-05-17). "ESPN signs Leah Hextall in historic NHL play-by-play hire". New York Post. Retrieved 2021-05-22.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: url-status (link)

Walmart's big endorsement

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Walmart's twitter account replied to a Mark Ronchetti fan who was going to Walmart, "We're here for you, Ronchetti!", leading to Wikipedia briefly deeming it an endorsement of Ronchetti's 2022 campaign for Governor of New Mexico. Taken from the original revision and this fix, although it was re–added several times.

Endorsements

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Mark Ronchetti (R)
Federal Officials
Organizations
Reference

References

  1. ^ "We are here for you, Ronchetti!". June 13, 2022.

Camaron Cheese–man

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Taken from these revisions.

Camaron DA Original Cheeseman; Keeper of the curd, Master of the whey, supreme leader of the cheddar, Archbishop of the Tower of Limburger, Holesome leader of the Swiss, Prophet of the one they call Jalapeno Jack, President of the Greater Asiago American Foundation, Bureaucrat of Bocconcini, Governor of Parmesan, Freshest of the Mozzarella, and Founder of The Cheeseman Emporium, (born April 26, 1998) is a Gouda American football long snapper for the Washington Commanders of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football at Michigan and was drafted by Washington in the sixth round of the 2021 NFL Draft. Known for his prevalence of making cheddar, Cameron made the Gouda while attending a world fair of Cheese in his hometown of Limburger.

Ryne Nelson's debut

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I made a similar error to the one in Elvis Peguero's page. Error is bolded. Taken from this revision.


Ryne Nelson
Arizona Diamondbacks – No. 52
Pitcher
Born: (1998-02-01) February 1, 1998 (age 26)
Henderson, Nevada
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
Arizona Diamondbacks debut
September 5, for the 2022

Where's Kendal Briles going???

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Will he be the "(OC/QB???)" for "Texas Christian University (unsigned as of 1/19/2023)", "TCU (possibly)", or "TCU Horned Frogs?" of the "Big 12? (Still hasn't signed a contract with TCU)"? Or is he still currently the offensive coordinator for the "University of Arkansas and has not officially signed a contract with TCU"?

Arkansas version:

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Kendal Briles
Current position
TitleOffensive coordinator
TeamArkansas
ConferenceSEC
Biographical details
Born (1982-11-10) November 10, 1982 (age 42)
Abilene, Texas
Alma materUniversity of Houston
Playing career
2001–2002Texas
2003–2005Houston
Position(s)Safety, Wide Receiver
Coaching career (HC unless noted)
2008–2011Baylor (IWR/ORC)
2012–2014Baylor (WR/PGC)
2015–2016Baylor (OC/QB)
2017Florida Atlantic (AHC/OC/QB)
2018Houston (AHC/OC/QB)
2019Florida State (OC/QB)
2020–2023Arkansas (OC/QB)
2023-presentTCU (OC)

Kendal Briles (born November 10, 1982) is an American football coach. He is still currently the offensive coordinator for the University of Arkansas and has not officially signed a contract with TCU.

TCU version:

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Kendal Briles
Current position
TitleOffensive coordinator
TeamTCU Horned Frogs?
ConferenceBig12? (Still hasn't signed a contract with TCU)
Biographical details
Born (1982-11-10) November 10, 1982 (age 42)
Abilene, Texas
Alma materUniversity of Houston
Playing career
2001–2002Texas
2003–2005Houston
Position(s)Safety, Wide Receiver
Coaching career (HC unless noted)
2008–2011Baylor (IWR/ORC)
2012–2014Baylor (WR/PGC)
2015–2016Baylor (OC/QB)
2017Florida Atlantic (AHC/OC/QB)
2018Houston (AHC/OC/QB)
2019Florida State (OC/QB)
2020–2022Arkansas (OC/QB)
2023-PresentTCU? (possibly) (OC/QB???)

Kendal Briles (born November 10, 1982) is an American football coach. He is slated to become the offensive coordinator for Texas Christian University (unsigned as of 1/19/2023).

Completely unnecessary maps

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These maps and images were all linked for a short time on 2020 United States presidential election in Pennsylvania. This is what it looked like at its peak.

 
Catholic Diocese results
 
State Patrols results

Trump

  40–50%
  50–60%
  60–70%
  70–80%
  80–90%
  90–100%

Biden

  40–50%
  50–60%
  60–70%
  70–80%
  80–90%
  90–100%
 
Typical Pennsylvania landscape
 
Counties by Income
 
Köppen climate types map

The epitome of carelessness

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This is easily the most careless thing I've ever done on this site. It went undetected for over three hours. Taken from this revision.


Zach Neal
 
Neal warms up on September 6, 2016
Oakland Athletics
Pitcher
Born: (1988-11-09) November 9, 1988 (age 36)
Columbia, South Carolina, U.S.
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
Professional debut
MLB: May 11, 2016, for the Oakland Athletics
NPB: April 2, 2019, for the Saitama Seibu Lions
MLB statistics
(through May 13, 2023)
Win–loss record2–4
Earned run average5.03
Strikeouts40
NPB statistics
(through 2021 season)
Win–loss record19–15
Earned run average4.49
Strikeouts143
Teams

Zachary Sheridan Neal (born November 9, 1988) is an American professional baseball pitcher in the Oakland Athletics organization. He has previously played in Major League Baseball (MLB) for the Los Angeles Dodgers and in Nippon Professional Baseball (NPB) for the Saitama Seibu Lions.

Oakland Athletics (second stint)

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On April 7, 2023, Neal signed a minor league contract with the Oakland Athletics organization.[1] He made 3 appearances (2 starts) for the Triple-A Las Vegas Aviators, posting a 5.56 ERA with 11 strikeouts in 11.1 innings pitched. On May 11, Neal was selected to the active roster to make a spot start against the Texas Rangers.[2] Neal pitched in 2 games for Oakland, surrendering 3 runs on 4 hits with 3 strikeouts in 3.1 innings pitched. Neal was designated for assignment on May 19, following the promotion of Lucas Erceg.[3] He cleared waivers and was sent outright to Triple-A on May 20.[4]

Logue was selected to the active roster on June 29, 2023.[5]

"Logue" is Zach Logue, another Zach who coincidentally has also played for the Athletics during his career. However, he was selected to the Detroit Tigers.

References

References

  1. ^ "Athletics' Zach Neal: Inks minors deal with Oakland". cbssports.com. Retrieved 2023-04-08.
  2. ^ "Athletics' Zach Neal: Selected to MLB roster". cbssports.com. Retrieved 2023-05-11.
  3. ^ "Athletics' Zach Neal: DFA'd by Oakland". cbssports.com. Retrieved 2023-05-19.
  4. ^ https://www.mlb.com/transactions/2023/05/20
  5. ^ "Tigers' Zach Logue: Joins big-league roster". CBSSports.com.

Are we CN what they're Sayin?

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USC wants him, Ohio State needs him, and Michigan just wants someone new in their Orji. No one knows what his position is. Taken from about 50 different revisions.

Julian Sayin
USC Trojans
PositionQuarterback
ClassEarly Enrollee
Personal information
Height6 ft 1 in (1.85 m)
Weight195 lb (88 kg)
Career history
High schoolCarlsbad (Carlsbad, California)

Julian Sayin is an American football quarterback for the USC Trojans.

Julian Sayin
Ohio State Buckeyes
PositionQuarterback
ClassEarly Enrollee
Personal information
Height2,002 ft 2,014 in (661.37 m)
Weight2,025 lb (919 kg)
Career history
High schoolCarlsbad (Carlsbad, California)

Julian Sayin is an American football quarterback. For THE Ohio State Buckeyes!! (<--- No He is Not)

On January 20, 2024, Sayin announced his commitment to the World Famous Buckeyes!

Julian Sayin
Michigan Wolverines
PositionSign Stealer
ClassEnrolled
Personal information
Height6 ft 1 in (1.85 m)
Weight195 lb (88 kg)
Career history
High schoolCarlsbad (Carlsbad, California)

Julian Sayin is an American football sign stealer. For the University of Michigan! He was hired to replace lead sign stealer Connor Stalions.

Julian Sayin
PositionDefensive End
Personal information
Height6 ft 1 in (1.85 m)
Weight195 lb (88 kg)
Career history
High schoolCarlsbad (Carlsbad, California)

Julian Sayin is an American football defensive end.

Julian Sayin
Positionkicker
Personal information
Height12 ft 3 in (3.73 m)
Weight3,954 lb (1,794 kg)
Career history
High schoolCarlsbad (Carlsbad, California)

Julian Sayin is an American football kicker.

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