Skeet Theory
Overview
Skeet Theory specifies the relationship between a student's grade on an exam and the professor's evaluation methods. How most professors grade is rather straight forward. First, they allot points for a certain portion of the exam and then assign credit for these portions based on the student's performance. Once all of the exam has been evaluated, the points are summed up and a grade is assigned. However, with some professors, you receive your grade, but your not sure how or what influenced it. Skeet Theory attempts to define this influence.
Methodology
First a base grade is assigned to the whole class. Then, the professor spreads out the tests on the floor in a circular format to maximize equal probability. Next, he makes sure his quarters are secure, undresses and puts his clothes in a plastic bag in the opposite corner of the room. He then wraps a blindfold over his eyes and spins around in a circle so as to disorient himself. Finally, the instructor masturbates and ejaculates all over the exams while spinning in a circle. The papers are then evaluated for the mass of sperm per exam. The exams with the most skeet are given the highest additive percentage on top of their base grade. Exams with no skeet receive no extra percent.
Symptoms
Some ways to tell if your professor applies this grading method:
- Professor does not allow the student to review his exam.
- Professor appears to be fatigued during midterms or finals week.
- Professor's office is lined with plastic or newspaper.
- Skeet may appear on your exam if the professor so chooses to return them.
- Student leaves complete problems blank, but receives a hundred percent.