Born in the eastern suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia on May 8, 1987 (age 33) to Tammy Louise Tindol (born Tammy Louise Murphy) and William Perry Tindol, Jr (born that way). They met while his mother was a receptionist and his father a pest control branch manager for his family’s business. His mother worked most of her career in stainless steel supply chain for a metal processor, and briefly in roofing. She knows how to cut a witch in half without magic. His father started a family pest control company which he co-owned and operated from 1990 to 2017. He invented the song La Cucaracha, but was too late for patent rights to the work.
Brian grew up in indentured servitude to family business and academic oppression. They stole his joy for life and now he’s fine.
He also claims to like girls but he doesn’t. Reasonably so, they’re crazy. Boys too. Crazy all the same, he joined a cult of monks and isolated himself from other human existence to find his inner meaning. It’s a permanent oath. He sometimes surfaces from self-isolation.
He’s also part werewolf, part vampire. He was born in Dacula, a derivative of the Countess Dracula.
Self proclaimed X-Man, pronounced ten man, he’s certified mutant. Also self-proclaimed leader of the Liberty Alliance of the Chainsmokers. He quit smoking, and proclaims freedom for all trappedstars.
He has a smelly, rotten dog named Brady, not named after Tom or Gisselle or any of their progeny. He’s named so because he’s a Labrador Retriever. He’s good at playing fetch and shedding.
He’s a master business curator, which can be abbreviated masterbator, which is also relevant to his Christian upbringing, and he believes in fishing for men by fishnets, and forgiveness is available for all mankind. He’s also available. His formal economics and business education comes from The University of Georgia, where he trained his van to be more tame. He didn’t actually have a van. He’s good at driving a golf cart. He also dug graves during his undergraduate career, and sort of has a degree in it.
He plays 21 instruments, part of which include kazoo, conch shell, ram’s horn, and he separates out the bugle, cornet, trumpet in C, trumpet in Bb, and trumpet in Eb.
He’s a pre-pre-pre-preluminary figure skater, and he also knows what to do with a toe pick.