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Wikipedia's Dead Silence article for ENGL1101.27

Sandbox for Erica Hudson

Analysis of Article

I have read the article and there some things that I feel that need to be changed. The summary for one is to wordy I feel like it does't get straight to the point.

I have decided to write the first paragraph. I will remove any information that is not needed. l information that is not needed

Reading List

A numbered list of all your readings go here. Use the following format:

Green, Josh. (2007).Review: Dead Silence is Freakin' Scary! ^[1]
Hernandez, Christopher. (2007) Dead Silence: Plot Summary^[2]
Stryker, Johnathan. (2007). Dead Silence Movie Review. ^[3]

Revised paragraph from article

Original

Getting ready for dinner one night, Jamie Ashen and his wife Lisa receive a mysterious ventriloquist doll named "Billy", in an unmarked package. Wondering who sent the doll, Lisa recalls a poem about a woman named Mary Shaw. Jamie disregards this and leaves to get dinner. After Lisa plays around with Billy, all the sounds disappear and something attacks Lisa. When Jamie arrives with their dinner, he hears Lisa call him into the bedroom, but becomes confused when he notices blood all over the floor. Jamie finds Lisa in their bed, dead with her tongue ripped out, and Billy lying near her body. Detective Jim Lipton brings Jamie in for questioning of the murder of his wife, but releases him due to lack of evidence. While ripping the lining of the box Billy came in, Jamie discovers that Billy belonged to Mary Shaw, a ventriloquist from his hometown of Ravens Fair.

Revised

One night while preparing for dinner Jamie and his wife Lisa, received an unmarked package a ventriloquist doll named Billy. Lisa then recites a poem about a women named Mary Shaw, Jamie just laughs it off and goes and picks up dinner, when he returns home he finds a trail of blood and Lisa nowhere in sight. Jamie goes in to the bed room with the doll on the floor and and Lisa's dead body without a tongue in it. Detective Jim Lipton brings him in for questioning but ends up realseasing him. Jamie returns back to the apartment and finds out who the doll belongs to which is Mary Shaw a ventriloquist fro his hometown Ravens Fair.

Original Contribution

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Notes

^ "Review: Dead Silence is Freakin' Scary!". FirstShowing.net. https://plus.google.com/+firstshowing/. Retrieved 2015-10-19. {{cite web}}: External link in |publisher= (help)
^ Hernandez, Christopher (2007). "Plot Summary". Dead Silence Plot Summary.
^ "DEAD SILENCE Movie Review". www.horrorexpress.com. Retrieved 2015-10-19.

[1] "Review: Dead Silence is Freakin' Scary!". FirstShowing.net. https://plus.google.com/+firstshowing/. Retrieved 2015-10-19. {{cite web}}: External link in |publisher= (help)

[2] Hernandez, Christopher (2007). "Plot Summary". Dead Silence Plot Summary.

[3] "DEAD SILENCE Movie Review". www.horrorexpress.com. Retrieved 2015-10-19.

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