Ryan William Cook was born a mere son of a porn creator. At birth Ryan was a Siamese twin attached at the left butt cheek with his twin brother Ian Charles Cook. However it was quickly determined that buying custom diapers for the pair would be too expensive and there dollar wise father had the two separated. However the surgery took a turn for the worse when 18 hours into the surgery Ryan was accidentally prodded in the "corn hole" as one doctor put it. "All was going well when a pen fell from a certain doctors chest pocket, it fell with such speed that it just got lodged there. We didn't think much of it and assumed it would have no negative affect on the boy however we could have never predicted the consequences it would have." Two years later the now 3 year old boy went into intensive care at the Milwaukee public hospital for wounds in his colon that were described as small inc covered puncture wounds. 38 days after Ryan went into the clinic he went into a coma that would last for 2 years. At the age of 5 Ryan randomly woke one day and his parents came to his side weeping with joy. At this time Ryan was showered with worldly goods such as video games and toys. He was especially favorative to Zoids. During the 3rd grade Ryan, with the aid of an unnamed friend, held a semi-formal and fully legal wedding binding him and his command wolf forever. However relationships turned sour when the command wolf was caught having a three way affair with a war shark and Ryan's own brother Ian. At this pint Ryan began a downward spiral of drugs, sex and booze. During the fifth grade Ryan was actually caught soliciting his "services" to a pretty and young, might i add curious, young girl. He then was sentenced to three years in prison where Ryan was known to smuggle in crack cocaine and orchestrate gang activities. Ryan also learned a new form of orchestration through the Huberson's Orchestra Rehabilitation Association. Through this Ryan replaced crack with the string bass. Now a freshman at Waukesha West Highschool Ryan was a good scholarly man. However Ryan was know to place a bomb threat and framed an innocent sophomore girl with the hideous crime. A year later Ryan was once again turned into a good person when he found the love of his life Elizabeth Crockett Smeaton. They dated for a while and Ryan remained a good person however in the later part of the third quarter Ryan planted another bomb threat this time framing a colored freshman girl for the crime. He also planted a false bomb so he could slyly dodge 2nd hour. This brings us to the current day at which point Ryan is still in a relationship and his bomb threat days are far from over.