Hnievera

Choosing to Be a Father

by Homer Nievera

Tito. Brod. Kuya. Kapatid. Dad.

These are just a few titles I’ve been called by my friends and loved ones. Though these days, though I’m still called “all of the above” titles, I love being called “Dad” most of all.

Among the vocations I was thinking of getting, there were actually two that I short listed when I was in elementary school. Amusingly, both had one ultimate description: Father.

Yes, I wanted to be a priest. But I also wanted to be a Dad. Both are called “Fathers,” right? One is head of a church while the other heads a family. Both calls were towards serving God’s children anyway.

The First Call

I spent my elementary years at Don Bosco in Makati City. Coming from a lower middle class family, it was quite a struggle for my parents to send the three of us to private Catholic schools. We took the opportunity to study in exclusive schools. We studied hard and even reaped honors as sort of repayment for our parents’ efforts.

I went through ordinary stages in my elementary years. I studied hard and played even harder. I had a lot of friends.

The school was residence to priests and brothers under the Salesians (as the congregation was called). Our religion teachers were brothers or priests. Our rector was of course a priest. Even our sports and scouting heads were brothers.

During dismissal, there was this particular priest we kids were very fond of. His name was Father Roozen. He was Caucasian, wore dark-rimmed glasses, and had a ready smile and hug for us. I saw him as a father and a teddy bear at the same time. I guess all of us kids had at least at one time hugged Father Roozen. He was very accommodating and had an aura of holiness around him.

Given that environment, when there was a call to join the Junior Aspirants Club, I joined. The JAC was a first call to those who felt they were being called to be a priest. I was in grade 5 then. We had various activities which included a camp to Calatagan, Batangas. We just hang-out and enjoyed each others’ company. Through all our activities, we were always accompanied by either a priest or a brother.

I really can’t remember what happened but I simply lost interest in the priesthood going into grade 6. But guess what? My best friend, who wasn’t interested in the priesthood, was the one who eventually entered the seminary. He’s now the head of the Marian Missionaries, Rev. Fr. John Ma. Cordero, who is also Youth Today’s spiritual director.

The Path I Chose

The realization of wanting to take another road in choosing my vocation came sometime in mid-high school. I believed that there was a role God wanted each one of us to take. I took note of this when I joined a Catholic renewal group in our parish. I tried to discern God’s plan for me early on and thus, chose to have an advertising profession and eventually marry and yes, be a Dad.

I studied hard in high school and even graduated with honors. I knew that this will be my foundation when I got to college to hone my skills further. Eventually, I graduated with a Communications Research degree from the University of the Philippines in Diliman.

I soon specifically chose to be a professional communicator and have a stable God-centered family.

Meeting My Match

In order to accomplish God’s plan for me, He also chose a match for me – the woman who would eventually be my lifetime partner and be the Mom of my children. Her name is Jinky.

I truly believe that Jinky is God’s gift to me and to our three children. It was a mutual decision for us to bring up our children in the Catholic faith. This, we believed, would bring our family closer to each other with Jesus Christ at the center. We even decided to join a religious organization (Couples for Christ) to strengthen our faith, bringing our children into the greater Catholic community.

Living My Chosen Vocation

I never regretted having chosen to be a father. My children are my flock. I enjoy being their shepherd. I feed them and protect them against the world’s wolves. Despite the challenge of being the sole breadwinner, the hardest role a father has, I believe, is making sure that our family sticks to the faith. This, I also believe, is the greatest challenge that priests have for their flock. We are then, the same.

I double time in my prayers now that my own children are fast growing up. I want them to be guided when they start choosing their vocations. Whatever their calls will be, I will be there to support them. In the end, they are free to choose. This is what God, our Father, has also given us out of love. Who am I to do otherwise? I am just their steward. But I sure love to hear it when they call me “Dad.”