"The user humbly requests that logic be left out of the following reading experience, for the purposes of properly conveying the intent behind the article- whatever that may be."
- The Management
| Darik Drake | |
|---|---|
| |
| Darik Drake, a.k.a. itbegins2005 | |
| Gender: | Male |
| Race: | Caucasian |
| Appears in: | Your dreams... |
| Height: | 6'2" |
| Location: | A Black Hole just on the perifery of the solar system. |
| Weapon of Choice: | "A good music video, in my opinion." |
| Family: | Michael Corleone (brother, deceased), Jor-El (father, deceased) |
| Enemies: | "Deadites" (demon-possessed living or undead), Fritos (demon possessed "chips", living or undead) |
| Portrayed by: | A stunt double, half of the time. |
Darik Drake- Former Sovereign of Australia
editOf who exactly Darik Drake was, or what purpose he served in the annuls of history, very little is known. It was once theorized that Drake was an immortal, a roaming warlord from the ancient Persian Empire whose unnaturally prolonged life was due to supernatural powers (possibly through access to the famous Lazarus Pits). However, this claim has been dropped following the discovery of evidence of Darik's birth in 1986, found amongst the wreckage of a hospital in southern Oregon.
Though there is very little that is outwardly unusual about Darik's appearence, a common belief amongst scientists holds that Darik is an anthromorphic quantum singularity.
Parallax
editParallax, or more accurately motion parallax (Greek: παραλλαγή (parallagé) = alteration) is the change of angular position of two stationary points relative to each other as seen by an observer, caused by the motion of an observer. Simply put, it is the apparent shift of an object against a background caused by a change in observer position.
The Effects of Parallax on Darik Drake
editWhen one applies the principals of parallax to Darik Drake, an interesting phenomenon occurs. Drake, being but a man (and thusly, a miserable pile of secrets), is as vulnerable to the whims of nature as any other mortal. Strangely, though, the principal of Parallax has no effect on him whatsoever- his apparent size and relative proximity to all things around him are constants, even when seen from multiple angles. Moreover, this applies also to the observer, meaning that Darik Drake never appears to come any closer to you or farther from you, no matter where you may stand. However, if the viewer is wearing glasses, or lenses over his eyes of any sort, then an even more bizarre event occurs. Parallax does assert itself over Darik's frame, but now, when his apparent size increases, his actual size increases; likewise, the farther from Darik an observer is positioned, the smaller he becomes. Though this would seemingly break many, if not all, of the known laws of physics, Darik's existence has yet to have an adverse effect on the space/time continuum, and so he is viewed as a benign curiosity in scientific circles. For now.
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editThis section means nothing.
Conspiracy Theorist
editOh, yeah, and he's a conspiracy theorist. Did I mention that? thumb|The Man looms in the darkness...
