Introduction
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My name is Professor Niko Papadopolous. I have a PhD in the field of human development of disease. I am today going to talk to you about Mexicana Paranorma Disorder in today's society. It can take an average man who is happy and turn them into a stereotypical Mexican person.
Signs and Symptoms
editIt can sometimes be hard to diagnose a person as some behaviours are normal to that person. However, if a loved one or friend starts doing a minimum of 3 of the following they most likely have Mexicana Paranorma Disorder.
- - Change their last name to Sanchez, Lopez or Hernandez
- - Eat Nachos, Tacos or Burritos more than once a day
- - Wearing a poncho in public
- - Owning more than one poncho
- - Carrying around a red cloth
- - Growing an over sized moustache
- - Death staring bulls
These are the most common symptoms however if you notice any other suspicious Mexican behaviour please report it to your local doctor and make note of it as your loved one may be in danger.
What happens
editA man who has been diagnosed will behave very differently to their former self. Their life will be devoted to becoming as Mexican as they can. They will most likely change their last name to a Mexican last name and also change their first name. For example, John Smith will become Jose Eduardo Sanchez. They will replace their humble Rice bubbles with a Burrito for breakfast. Then, some Guacamole for morning tea. Then replace a sandwich or a roll with for example a Taco. Dinner will most likely be Nachos. These are only examples of the food they will eat. They can eat many different foods of Mexican origin. They will also change their entire wardrobe. They will purchase many ponchos of many colours. But if they are poor, they will steal ponchos. This is how people with this disorder get into trouble sometimes. When they get put into jail they become insane as they are deprived of Mexican items that they require to live their lives. This leads to insanity.
They will grow an over sized moustache. They won't all have black facial hair so they will most likely dye their moustache black. This can sometimes lead to death as the dye gets on their Taco and then the poison gets digested through the stomach. They will also carry around a red cloth. This is for spooking and aggravating a bull. This creates a sort of "show down" with the bull. They will stare down bulls whenever they see them. They will annoy bulls so they will chase them. The bull will chase then through the streets and wherever they go. This, 67.78% of the time leads to disaster as they are usually killed by the bull.
Prognosis
editMexican Paranorma Disorder is common in men who have no personality. They try to get a personality by becoming something they are not. It is most frequent in men who work in offices or have a boring life in general.
Treatment and cure
editThere are many treatments that provide short term relief like illicit drugs but there is only one real cure and that is a trip to a rehabilitation centre on the Greek island of Mykinos. Here, the patient will see and do things they have never done. They will gain memories, which in turn will give them a personality. Their personality will be much similar to that of a Mediterranean man (a wog).
