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Deschainism
editDeschainism is a collection of beliefs centered around a dual-natured god, often referred to as "Kagan" or "Spielvogel". It is often considered a form of monotheism because although Deschainists consider their god to be of two distinct persons, they also consider them to be one.
Deschainism rejects miracles and the supernatural in most cases. Rather, it focuses on human reason and logic on which to base its principles.
Deschainism has never become prominent and probably never will be, although it is practiced by at least two, maybe three people.
Key Deschainist Beliefs
editDeschianism has three key principles:
- The belief that God is a robot
- The belief that Kagan and Spielvogel are present in the High Priest and The Text
- The belief that all things must be analyzed
The first of these principles, the belief that God is a robot, also know as the Doctrine of a Robotic Deity, is the most monumental of Deschainist beliefs. It states that Kagan and Spielvogel are actually robots constructed by an Almighty and Supreme Superhuman (commonly referred to as "ASS"). The "robot God" functions uniformly, repeating its actions in a set motion. Therefore, Kagan and Spielvogel have neither mind nor conscience.
The second belief is that Kagan and Spielvogel are present in the High Priest and The Text, the holy book of the Deschainist religion. This belief is symbolized by the High Priest's frequent use of the word "we"; for example, "We have graded your tests" or "We have put a slideshow together". Because of the High Priest's deep connection with Kagan and Spielvogel, She is considered to be above other Deschainists, and is therefore always right, even when She is wrong. Deschainists also believe that their deity is present in their holy book, The Text. The Text is a history of Western Civilization, which no one other than Deschainists really care about.
The third belief of Deschainism is that all things must be analyzed. Analyzation is considered a form of worship to Kagan and Spielvogel. All Deschainists are encouraged to analyze thoroughly and often, or else they will receive F's.
