Gender Differences in Communicating Emotion

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In Emotional Expression

Males and Females are exceedingly diverse beings, and studies have shown sincere differences in how these two genders choose to express emotion. As a direct result from the discovery of this fact, society as a whole has formed different stereotypical views about how different genders express emotion. Thus, gender-specific stereotypes have been established. Men are perceived to experience and express emotions in one way, while woman are often viewed to do the opposite[1]. There is evidentiary support, as well as experiential proof, to back up these views. For example, it has been studied that in general, women tend to articulate their emotions more freely than men do. In other words, a woman is more likely to express how they feel about a particular occurrence or idea than a man would be. On the other end of the spectrum, males choose to hide away their emotional displays, especially when it comes to anxious and depressed feelings. This lack of expression has often been referred to as “The Cowboy Syndrome”, which explains how men are often portrayed as the stereotypical strong, silent-type. The problem with this though, is that males are becoming non-communicative and are preventing themselves from open expression.

In Their Use of Different Emotions

Some theorists shy away from the gender differences in emotional expression, and choose to focus on how an emotion can become gender-specific on its own. Birnbaum, Noasonchuk and Cross found that emotions that were more characteristic of women “include sadness, fear, and happiness” while an emotion that seemed to be expressed more in males was hostility and anger[2]. When men choose to express such an emotion, they usually do so through violent, hazardous, or even distracting behaviors, which can then lead to feelings of guilt. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to experience negative feelings, and thus become shameful. Females are often noted as the “nurturing mother”; a show of emotion is expected on the part of the female, and something is wrong with a female’s identity without it. Society, pre-conceived notions, and gender-related stereotypes call for woman to be compassionate, vulnerable, sympathetic, caring, fearful and dependent. Women are exceptionally better at the expression of vulnerability and defenselessness than men are; men often minimize any evidence of vulnerability, shame, apprehension, or pain. The problem with this though, is that it can prevent honest expression and create guilt, false security, and meaningless platitudes.

In Communicating Emotion

The fundamental basis of emotion is its function as a form of communication. There are many studies, as well as published books, claiming that there are significant differences in the ways that males and females communicate. While this generalization does not necessarily apply to all men and woman, it is important to recognize that these differences are still very apparent. When men communicate their emotions, their discussion becomes one that revolves around a negotiation for power. Men want to feel in control when they are expressing emotions. The often find it very challenging to even express their emotions in the first place though, because they struggle to find the right words to explain how exactly they are feeling. Women, on the other hand, seek closeness from their conversational partner. Women also tend to have the ability to interpret the verbal and nonverbal emotional signals of others, while men need more of a straightforward approach, which usually involves an explanation of ones emotional status. Women usually talk at a more rapid pace, especially when they become aroused or eager. This often leads to interruptions, especially if their conversational partner has been struggling to find a way to express what they were trying to say. If males are interrupted, or if their conversational partner over-compensates by talking too much, men tend to lose track of what they are saying, and eventually choose to not say what they were planning on saying because they feel as though they were cut off. Men find it especially hard to get back on track after being cut off or interrupted, when what they were planning on discussing was emotionally related.

In Coping

In coping with stressful situations, there are usually three paths in which men and woman can take in an attempt to alleviate a certain undesirable circumstance: a problem-focused approach, an appraisal-focused strategy, or an emotion-focused strategy. Most men choose to approach stressful situations with a problem-focused approach. By doing so, males choose to focus on the cause of their problem, rather than the problems relation to emotion. Males try to find out information relating to their problem, so that they can become better versed on why the problem even came to exist in the first place. A study published by Gerly M. D. Boo, which focused on gender differences in coping in adolescent boys and girls, found that girls are more prone to depression than boys are.[3]. Boys were less likely to utilize emotion-focused strategies than girls were [4]. This means that females are more likely to manage their feelings as well as keep less of their emotions bottled up compared to males. Females are also more likely to use relaxation procedures, such as breathing techniques, to control their emotions. As girls get older though, their ability to manage their emotions in a positive manner decreases [5]. Females apply less emotional modifying strategies the older they become. What happens instead is that females begin to meditate more about their problems, which often leads to aggression. The study also found that females are more likely to seek social support when they are in a situation that requires coping. In order for many females to cope, they believe that it is necessary to find help in others; men, on the other hand, often choose to cope in a more solitary way. The study found that this gender difference – seeking social support for help in coping – is the largest difference in coping between adult men and woman [6]. Another study was done at Cukurova University regarding gender differences in coping styles. This study found that the main effect that gender played on coping styles was its relation to sex role stereotypes [7]. Basically, men and woman cope based on the different ways that they learned through socialization. In today’s society, men cope in an instrumental way, because they were socialized to use more active coping behaviors. Woman, on the other hand, cope in a more passive manner because they were socialized to use emotion-focused strategies.

In Non-Verbal Expression of Emotions

Non-verbal communication can include anything from a smile or a head nod, to a hand wave or a particular eye-movement. Women are often seen using non-verbal expression more than men are, especially when it comes to communicating emotions or feelings. In regards to facial expressions, woman are often better at “reading” someone than men are. We all know that a smile does not always necessarily mean that someone is necessarily happy, and woman are more likely to interpret this hidden message than men are. This may be because women are more likely to use non-verbal expressions, so they are more familiar with the concept than men are. Both men and woman will maintain eye contact with another if they are genuinely interested in what they are saying. In all other circumstances though, such as normal everyday conversation, woman are more comfortable with making eye contact, and therefore do it more often than men do. In regards to gestures, Jo Freeman, author of “Women: A Feminist Perspective”, found that woman are less likely to use their hands when expressing emotions. Males are the ones who more choose to accompany their conversations with hand gestures and movements. Instead of hand gestures, woman usually rely on less apparent non-verbal expressions, such as subtle nods of the head, or specific movement of their eyes.

In Expressing Jealousy

Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. One of the strongest types of jealousy is romantic jealousy, which is a negative reaction to an apparent threat to a cherished relationship. Woman are often more worried about emotional infidelity than sexual infidelity. Males suffer from paternity uncertainty, and therefore jealous in males are higher in sexual infidelity rather than emotional. Research does show that both woman and men would be angry if sexual infidelity were to occur, but woman would be more effected if the infidelity that took place was emotional. Females were predicted to be nine times more likely to express emotional jealousy, as well as more aggressive when experiencing such jealousy, than men are. Males are less likely to express their jealousy, which is said to correlate directly with societal demands placed on males. Society today expects males to contain their emotions, which include jealousy; women are expected to express their emotions publicly, while men are not.

In Sex-drive and emotions

Sex drive can be defined as a motivation or craving for sexual interaction. When it comes to sex drive, a male’s sexual drive is more straightforward and stronger than that of a woman’s. Men are more likely to ask for sex, while woman often choose to instead leave subtle hints or gestures. One way in which this can be explained is because of the Vasopressin, which is linked to men’s motivation for sexual expression, which is secreted during male arousal. This action is often the reason behind why men tend to initiate the act of sexual interaction more than women do. Regarding sexual drive, men report experiencing sexual desire with greater frequency than women. Men are also more likely as well as more willing to report that they have experienced sexual desire, when prompted to do so on a self-report. This may stem from that fact that it is more socially acceptable, as well as desirable for men to think about sex all of the time. Our society today plays sex out to be a male dominant occurrence in which a sexual initiation by a woman would be viewed as a rarity. Men are also more likely to answer a survey more accurately in this case because they are more likely to tell the truth, and understand that what they are feeling is actually sexual desire. Woman are often less likely than men to label particular experiences and emotions as sexual desire. Women are often unaware that what they are experiencing could be classified as “sexual desire”. Men use more cognitive events to catalogue their sexual desire. Cognitive events could range anywhere from a sexual fantasy that a man has, to a possible dream. Women, on the other hand, use more behavioral and physiological events to catalogue their sexual desire. These events include sexual intercourse, or even physical arousal; which can be described as how a woman’s body begins to feel when a male arouses them. During close interpersonal interaction, men are more likely to ascribe sexual meaning to a female’s behavior. For example, a woman may move closer to a man in bed, simply because she wants to cuddle, yet a male is more likely to see this as a sexual advancement. This could also simply mean that men could think that just because a woman winks or looks at them for an extended period of time, they are implying something sexual. Misinterpretations regarding the desire to initiate sexual interaction occur more often in males. Men report being more sexually stimulated by visual and vocalic stimuli, which is one explanation for why men tend to view pornography more than woman do. In comparison, women report being more sexually stimulated by romantic relational and environmental stimuli, such as erotic novels. It seems as though men tend to express their emotions regarding sexual interaction more than woman do, because they think about sex more often. Studies show that a good majority of men under 60-years-old think about sex at least once a day. On the other hand, only about 1/4th of women under 60 admit to doing the same. Women are more cautious when it comes to picking a sexual partner than men because woman are often worried about becoming pregnant and having a child. Technically, a man is only invested in sex for the time in which it takes to complete the sexual interaction. If a pregnancy results, a woman becomes invested for months, and then years. This often results in a woman becoming more emotionally attached to their partner after sex. Woman are also more concerned about the quality of a man, while most men are more concerned with the quantity of their sexual encounters.

In Expressing Happiness

According to research, men and women tend to be equally happy throughout their lifetime. Women experience a wider range of positive, negative and unhappy emotions than men do. These emotions, which range all over the board, are often stronger regarding their intensity, in comparison to men. Men’s emotions are usually less intense, and tend to not spread on as far of a range as women’s do. When it comes to family, research surprisingly shows that men enjoy being with their family more than women do because men tend to tie being at home to relaxation and not having to worry about anything. Women, on the other hand, find being around their families to be considered work; whether it is cooking, cleaning, or babysitting. Men feel happiness at about the same rate that they feel anger, although they express anger more often because channeling their anger is what some believe defines a man. Studies also show that high school boys are slightly happier with their lives than high school girls, because of the way technology has changed significantly in the past 40 years and the privileges they have. Girls are often bullied over the Internet, and gossip spreads faster with today’s technologies, which can ultimately lead to the unhappiness of today’s teenage girls. Generally speaking though, men tend to hide their emotions, because society has portrayed them to be self -reliant. Men also often feel the need to conform to the present stereotypes, which claim that a male showing happiness is a sign of weakness.

In Expressing Grief

Women often feel that their male counterpart isn’t listening or isn’t being truly supportive when they are grieving. Men often say that they do not know how to best support their female counterpart, because they are unsure about what exact type of pain is causing their grief. A woman generally deals with grief in an easier fashion because she is able to communicate with friends and family about it; woman often cope with their problems through social networks, using social supports. When men are faced with grief, they will find responsibilities or activities to fill their life to get over the thought of their grief. Men do not like to show emotion because it is seen as a sign of weakness. This frustrates women because to get over their grief, women tend to talk about it, mostly for reassurance that everything is going to be okay. Woman often do not understand why men cannot simply talk out their problems. Growing up, boys are not taught to cry, while the opposite is taught to girls. Men do not tend to express grief until they are sure that there is a certain degree of respect between themselves and the other person in which they are in a conversation with. Women see grief as a way to increase intimacy with whomever they are talking to because it is revealing something personal to them. Men, on the other hand, see grief as a burden that they would not like anyone else to bear beside him or herself; this is often why men keep their feelings to themselves. “To express this to another man or to a woman would be, firstly, an admission that he was unable to handle his problems by himself (a sign of lack of independence) and secondly, a dumping of a negative pile of stuff onto someone else who had no responsibility for it…,” [8]. Women also sympathize more with people experiencing grief than men do, because they fell that they would want sympathy if they were grieving as well. Woman look at grief and sympathy in a “do unto others as they would do unto you” kind of way.

In Sadness

Sadness is generally considered a feminine emotion, so it is natural to believe that women tend to express this emotion more. Even as children, girls are much more likely to express sadness than boys. This relates to the expectations girls have of being accepted in accordance to gender roles. Young males tend to shy away from expressing sadness, because they expect it will result in negative interpersonal costs. This is also reflected in adulthood, males attempt to suppress displaying sadness because they expect it will result in negative social consequences [9]. Young daughters express much more sadness to both their mother and father, but young sons express much more solely to their fathers than daughters do [10]. After the expression of sadness, girls typically will report that they feel better emotionally. After adolescence, boys will typically display sadness to girls rather than boys [11]. This can be related to male’s fear of negative social consequences. As adults, males are described much more as being stoic, while females or young girls express their sadness more through displays such as crying or pouting.

Gender differences can also be shown in the expression of sadness in relation to brain activity. When males experience sadness, it will typically result in a sad mood as shown by signals in the amygdala [12]. Sad moods in women are different, which is shown by less concentrated activity in the brain. Men rely much more on external visual stimuli when achieving sadness, also shown by amygdala activity. Women, on the other hand, use more internal cues and cognition when feeling sadness. This shows that when feeling sadness men and women simply process sadness differently.

In Fear and Anxiety

Generally, women will express a higher amount of fear than men. Gender is also the best way to predict an amount of personal fear a person will have. Females are much more likely to testify to having a higher level of personal fear [13], which can be accounted for by the fear of sexual assault or victimization [14]. Fear of sexual victimization in females will typically influence fear of other situations or other types of crime. Through social learning, females realize that they are much more physically vulnerable than males typically. Males learn that because they are physically stronger than females, in most cases they should protect them. The reliance on the social constructs by males and females leads to more femininity and masculinity. Males are much more likely to experience fear for others rather than themselves, in particular their marital spouses [15]. Women will feel as if they need to protect not only themselves but also their children [16], and will fear much more for their children. Emotion scholars have also considered that fear itself is highly correlated with marriage and having children [17]. In relation to fear, anxiety and anxiety disorders are also represented differently across genders. Females are more likely than males to have anxiety disorders [18]. The difference between the likeliness of females over males is slight but is always there.

References

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  1. ^ Fischer, A. (1993). Sex differences in emotionality: fact or stereotype. Feminism and Psychology, 3, 303-318
  2. ^ Birnbaum, D., Noasonchuk, T. & Cross, W. (1980) Children's stereotypes about sex differences in emotionality. Sex Roles, 6, 435-443, Briton, N. & Hall, J. (1995) Beliefs about female and male nonverbal communication. Sex Roles, 32, 79-90,
  3. ^ De Boo, G. M., & Kolk, A. M. (2007). Ethnic & gender differences in temperament, and the relationship between temperament and depressive and aggressive mood. Personality and Individual Differences, 43, 1756-1766
  4. ^ Donaldson, D., Prinstein, M.J., Danovsky, M., & Spirito, A. (2000). Patterns of children’s coping with life stress: Implications for clinicians. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 70, 351-359
  5. ^ Hampel, P., & Petermann, F. (2005). Age and gender effects on coping in children and adolescents. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 34, 73–83
  6. ^ Tamres, L.K., Janicki, D., & Helgeson, V.S. (2002). Sex differences in coping behavior: A meta-analytic review and an examination of relative coping. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 6, 2–30.
  7. ^ Ptacek, J.T., Smith, R. E. & Zanas, J. (1992). Gender, appraisal and coping: A longitudinal analysis. Journal of Personality, 60, 745-770.
  8. ^ Golden, Tom. Gender and Cultural Differences in Grief: Booklet #3. Kensington, MD: T. Golden, 1994. Print.
  9. ^ Perry-Parrish, C., Zeman, J.(2009). Relations among sadness regulation, peer acceptance, and social functioning in early adolescence: The role of gender. Social Development, 20, 135-163.
  10. ^ Aldrich, N., Tenenbaum, H. (2006). Sadness, anger, frustration: Gendered patterns in early adolescents’ and their parents’ emotion talk. Sex Roles, 55, 775-785.
  11. ^ Perry-Parrish, C., Zeman, J.(2009). Relations among sadness regulation, peer acceptance, and social functioning in early adolescence: The role of gender. Social Development, 20, 135-163.
  12. ^ Schneider, F., Habel, U., Kessler, C. Salloum, J., Posse, S. (2000). Gender differences in regional cerebral activity during sadness. Human Brain Mapping, 9, 226-238.
  13. ^ Rader, N., Cossman, J. (2011). Gender differences in U.S. college students’ fear for others. Sex Roles, 64, 568-581.
  14. ^ Schafer, J., Huebner, B., Bynum, T. (2006). Fear of crime and criminal victimization: Gender-based contrasts. Journal of Criminal Justice, 34, 285-301.
  15. ^ Rader, N., Cossman, J. (2011). Gender differences in U.S. college students’ fear for others. Sex Roles, 64, 568-581.
  16. ^ Schafer, J., Huebner, B., Bynum, T. (2006). Fear of crime and criminal victimization: Gender-based contrasts. Journal of Criminal Justice, 34, 285-301.
  17. ^ Rader, N., Cossman, J. (2011). Gender differences in U.S. college students’ fear for others. Sex Roles, 64, 568-581.
  18. ^ Oatley, K., Keltner, D., Jenkins, J. (2006). Understanding emotion. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.